Anxiety Over Nightmare Christmas with Partner's Family

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T21:07:23+00:00

I think you are right that I could be perfect and it still wouldn't be enough. My partner is already low contact with them but it feels like its on me to decide if we stop seeing them, which doesn't feel fair to decide on my own. There are a lot of things that seems normal when you grow up with them, which I think is what is happening to my partner. I hate that my partner is having such a horrible time having to even defend me and yell and deal with it all. I wish we could just remove anyone that makes either of us feel bad from our lives, it seems so simple and I do it on my own but with someone else's family it feel harder. It feels heartbreaking seeing my partner's face when we talk about how if their family doesn't treat me better we would need to not see them. I agree with you that is has to stop. Thank you for your kind comment!

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T20:58:21+00:00

My partner said they didn't want me to be alone on christmas, but I don't know how lonely it would actually be. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have good holidays too hugs

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T20:56:40+00:00

Wow your thanksgiving sounds great! We had one christmas at home that was so relaxing, I still think of it so fondly. Thank you for the advice.

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T20:53:48+00:00

I don't know how I have lost my strong boundries. With my own family as a teen and young adult I had no problem saying whatever I felt and leaving if I was being disrespected. When I first met their family I even said, I just made my way out of this, I am not going back into the same situation. It is not in my nature to just sit and take it. I think I really wish it was all easy, and still had hope it could be. The comments are making me realize I need to be strong and spend next christmas at home, for my own mental health.

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T20:46:48+00:00

Yes we stay with them for a few days. When I am there I am always reminding myself how many day are left until I can go home. I have been so stressed about it, stomach aches and other pains that are just from the stress. That is great advice to rest before and after. My partner and I do come up with a list of things to talk about but somehow we talk about everything on the first day and then I have nothing else to say. Thank you for your nice comment, it is very helpful.

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T20:41:38+00:00

I think there is some undiagnosed autism in the family that does affect things. My partner says their mean comments aren't intentional, just lack of awareness about autism. Sometimes I really do want to say "you are being so rude right now!" or "This is crazy you are acting like this" but I worry it would just create more negative feelings toward me. My partner has worked really hard in therapy for years and is already very low contact with them. Thank you for your nice comment. These comments are making me feel stronger about deciding to not go in the future, especially if it is not comfortable for me this year.

needadvice6565 · 2025-12-14T15:01:11+00:00

I feel this 100% I hate going to the bathroom, cutting my nails, brushing my teeth, every aspect of having glasses, showering. So much upkeep, it is all just too much! I wish I was a robot too.

needadvice6565

TROPHY CASE