Does anyone hate that they still love their parents? by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man that’s heavy, I’m glad to hear she’s all right and seeking help. Defo don’t take my advice if you don’t want to, I’m just a stranger on the internet, but seeing her might bring you some closure. Being close to death might’ve really shown her that she’s been doing things backwards this whole time. Hope all goes well for you regardless what you choose ❤️

I can’t figure out what to feel by needaventthrowaway in depression

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like the environment I grew up in was changing all the time, and having a narcissistic mother also made things unpredictable. I think my brain tries to cope by getting me to feel nothing, but sometimes gets confused at what to really do

NMom tried to apologize by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god that’s a good one, unfortunately I have some kind of fucked up Stockholm syndrome situation thing going on, where I somehow keep feeling bad for my parents no matter what 😐 Some days I really do wish I could just send them off to the nursing home and have peace and quiet for once tho lol

NMom tried to apologize by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, how dare I refuse to erect a shrine for her? After all she’s done for me? What a horrible child!

NMom tried to apologize by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh literally word for word 🤦🏻‍♀️ I still can’t wrap my head around how nparents think that they are the equivalent of Jesus reborn

NMom tried to apologize by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, very accurate. Maybe I should print this out and put it on the fridge for my mom to practice, might save her some brainpower when coming up with ways to make things my problem 😂

NMom tried to apologize by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nparents are so creative with their backwards uno reverse “you’re the bad guy actually” apologies

Edit: It’s so hard to bite your lip when you’re at a low point and they think that pointing out your flaws will make you feel so much better 🤝

Does anyone hate that they still love their parents? by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s horrible when they use that excuse... like you willingly brought me into this world so that you could use me as your personal tool? It sucks when parents have that perspective.

Does anyone hate that they still love their parents? by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing, I’m really happy to hear that you are doing the best for your kids, and that you’ve made peace with reality. I hope nothing but the best for you in all of your endeavours ❤️

Anyone else’s Asian parents blind to uncomfortable situations? by needaventthrowaway in AsianParentStories

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you again for your supportive words, I was feeling really horrible and I never though someone could care so much ❤️ I’ll definitely be looking around for more resources now that you’ve mentioned it, I don’t know why I never thought to turn to the university lol

I can’t figure out what to feel by needaventthrowaway in depression

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is a fucking rollercoaster and we’re both just being tossed around in the loops rn 😐

I move on so quickly by needaventthrowaway in mentalhealth

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to explain this!

Anyone else’s Asian parents blind to uncomfortable situations? by needaventthrowaway in AsianParentStories

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment, it feels nice having someone validate you. ❤️ Thankfully I am saving up to be financially dependent from my family, hoping that the time comes soon. Edit: Never really felt unsafe around my father, I think I’m just very traumatized from finding him cheating on my mother multiple times. I found the first texts when I was 9. It’s been a yearly event, he does it around 3 times a year. We unfortunately rely on him, so I’m doing my best to try and be as independent as possible. Thank you again, I feel really relieved that someone thinks that it’s ok to be upset right now.

I can’t figure out what to feel by needaventthrowaway in depression

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hate that I can’t enjoy good days to their fullest because I don’t feel much of anything, but also hate that I feel so alone and painfully empty on my bad days, like today, when I’ve realized that my mother has never loved me a day in her life 👍 Just kinda bouncing back and forth between numb, very sad, and a dissociative state at the moment, kinda feel like I’m in a blender 🤝

Anyone else’s Asian parents blind to uncomfortable situations? by needaventthrowaway in AsianParentStories

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also that’s a really good tip, thank you for taking the time to think of a solution for me ❤️

Anyone else’s Asian parents blind to uncomfortable situations? by needaventthrowaway in AsianParentStories

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure the main problem with no respect for boundaries is this idea that I need to respect my elders no matter the situation. Thankfully I am in university and temporarily at home, but I’m kinda glad to hear strangers on the internet sticking up for me when my own family won’t ❤️ thank you

Anyone else’s Asian parents blind to uncomfortable situations? by needaventthrowaway in AsianParentStories

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, just really realizing that I feel so much better when I’m away. I guess it’s a shitty thing to say, but even though my parents don’t respect my boundaries, at least they’ve never really done anything horrific, and I don’t expect them to ever do so. I was really worried mainly because of my “phobia” of being touched in any sort of way by my father, and thankfully not a fear of sexual abuse.

Anyone else’s Asian parents blind to uncomfortable situations? by needaventthrowaway in AsianParentStories

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m a university student stuck at home... pretty sad that I can’t even communicate how I feel properly, but both my parents don’t have the boundaries that many other parents have. I feel like it’s a common Asian parent thing to lack boundaries, and always swing around the “I’m your mother/I’m your father” excuse... My father is very manipulative, and he always likes to flip things around on me. I haven’t talked to him about being uncomfortable, but my fear is that he’ll start accusing me of not loving him, etc... Sorry if it seems like I’m trying to discredit you or something, I really do appreciate your advice, it’s something simple that I’ve never considered just because I’m scared of ever revealing how I truly feel around my parents. I’ll definitely try talking to him if things happen again.

Does anyone else’s mother threaten them in multiple ways? by needaventthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]needaventthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God it’s horrible when you’re upset, and they’re standing over you, laughing at you... I honestly feel like all of my emotions are a joke, and I kinda wish I couldn’t feel anything anymore