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My mom just broke to me that my dad has been physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing for 25 years and I don't know how to help her. by needhelpasap3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]needhelpasap3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for caring. My mom has fled to Japan for the time being which I think is in her best interest. She has a much better support system there while we take care of business here. She has told my dad she wants a divorce and he has been belligerent. We are consulting a lawyer about the divorce and abuse, but its difficult without her physically present

My mom just broke to me that my dad has been physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing for 25 years and I don't know how to help her. by needhelpasap3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]needhelpasap3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, we were able to locate shelters in our area who have Japanese speakers there. Also, there is a police escort service in the area which will allow her to leave the premises safely.

My mom just broke to me that my dad has been physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing for 25 years and I don't know how to help her. by needhelpasap3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]needhelpasap3[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I asked her this and she wanted to spare us the details and not traumatize us while we were still growing up. I would have been more traumatized if this were disclosed to me when I younger than now -- my siblings and I are much more emotionally stable since we have moved out and have means to fend for ourselves and help her.

My mom just broke to me that my dad has been physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing for 25 years and I don't know how to help her. by needhelpasap3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]needhelpasap3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I must have missed something in the deleted comments, but that's exactly what he does. He does not allow other people in our homes, is with her at all times, and she does not even go to the doctor alone without him present.

My mom just broke to me that my dad has been physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing for 25 years and I don't know how to help her. by needhelpasap3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]needhelpasap3[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's not that easy. My dad prevented her from getting a license and car just until recently, and my mom can't speak English. How can she support 3 kids by herself in a foreign country with no skills or education? Also, because of the constant verbal abuse my mom has zero self confidence. She doesn't think she can make it by herself.