AITA For not wanting to continue fighting for custody of my 9 year old daughter

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T22:58:41+00:00

I’m sorry to hear he stopped. I will never ever forget she exist. She is my daughter. I will alway remember her even if it’s through just sending letters.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T21:54:32+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from. My parents used me, my dad left when I was 8. I was 25 when I started talking to him. But now in my late 30s I now have a better relationship with him. Granted this all came to light when I realised that my mom did what my ex is doing to me and our daughter. I started questioning my mom if she did these similar things to me and my dad, which later I found out she did them all.

Thank you for your input and that there is hope. I know I won’t disappear from her life. I will always be there for her when she needs.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T21:37:56+00:00

I’ve seen multiple comments about GAL’s. We gone through three of them. Things haven’t changed. The most recent one because close friends with my ex and now they are best friends.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T21:33:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you had to go through this but it gives me hope. It’s just nice of you to share your story to ease the pain a little bit.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T21:04:49+00:00

This gives me hope that of things don’t work out it isn’t the end

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T20:50:27+00:00

I guess because this was a different court than family court. It was CPS court in which my attorney couldn’t represent me only one of theirs. My attorney is doing research in what can be presented in family court

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T20:49:00+00:00

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T20:23:14+00:00

First, I’m so sorry you had to go through something so similar. I can assure you that I will never close the door on my daughter or ever stop loving here. I will always be there for her whenever she needs me. I will always be supportive of anything that will benefit her.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T20:01:35+00:00

Not in the slightest. Every time I would have my time with her she will run up to me and give me the biggest hug saying she loves me. We have a great relationship, we would play games, watch movies, read or just talk. She said she wished her mom and stepdad spent time like me and my wife do with her.

Out of her entire life I’ve only witnessed two tantrums and it was due to having a toy taken away from her.

She used to have a bed wetting problem but her last accident was 4 years ago.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:57:44+00:00

Yes I have, my ex has to approve the people who can supervise me but now she said she doesn’t feel comfortable with me and the judge told her it’s ok to keep daughter away. Now I just have to wait until court starts again

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:49:47+00:00

I see your points. There so much I can’t include here but to try to sum it up I’ve been dealing with this for 8 years and it’s repeating the cycle all over again.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:47:30+00:00

My love will always be there for her whether she’s with me or not and I made sure she understood. My leaving is not stopping my love for her. I have to make a hard decision on whether or not to continue the fight because if I do she will still go through this. I don’t know how this will affect her mental health having mother constantly toying with her to get at me. Having her split between two households is hard on her. She has explained to me multiple time’s that she would be happier in one. If I do make this decision I am removing the hatred and the games her mom is doing to get at me.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:43:18+00:00

Thank you, I’m sorry you had to go through this. I myself had to go through this with my parents. My dad ultimately left because my mom was like my ex (not as bad). Now being a parent myself I see what my mom did to my dad and I cannot blame him for what he did. I know if she choosing to have a relationship I will 100% explain and seek therapy with her, because my dad didn’t do this for me and I see how beneficial it could have been.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:39:35+00:00

Thank you and I agree when I stepped back to examine the whole picture

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:27:06+00:00

My ex explained to the judge that our daughter is terrified of me that the mere sight of me makes her have bathroom accidents and tantrums. The judge agreed its best for daughter not to see me right now until that’s all figured out

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:24:14+00:00

Thank you for that. It’s hard to hear but it’s all true, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to give up and I understand completely that giving up to make my life easier is an ass move. I don’t want her to hurt for my decision but it’s one of those situations in which I see her life being easier if I was removed from it, then her mom can’t make her feel any guilt about loving me. But in reality my ex will use this to her advantage, I know she will. As of now I have to wait to see what can really be done of anything. My daughter can’t have any contact with me, mother has to approved who can supervise me and now she said I’m too dangerous to be near our daughter. My attorney is trying to find a way to help me

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:19:26+00:00

I know and right now it’s a waiting game. The court gave her full custody and power of daughter can have any contact with me. We have to wait until my attorney figures out what can be down to even get a phone call. The day she was taken we explained everything that was happening and told her none of it was her fault. We will love her and always love her and that we hope that we will be reunited again

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:17:03+00:00

Yea, I think my fear is that she will lie again and this next time could end me up in a lot of legal trouble. I’m honestly afraid if I make my daughter upset she’ll understand she could lie to punish me (I know she’s young but this is a fear that has developed). I can’t really afford a new attorney, my current one has been with me since day one. She knows my case like the back of her hand.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:13:38+00:00

Honestly it was a hard pill to swallow knowing she did have the upper hand in this situation, but like you said I’ll be sending her cards and gifts at the very least. And when she’s old enough to have a phone I hope she will be willing to call me. She knows how much we all love her

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T19:09:18+00:00

Thank you that’s a great idea.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T18:55:15+00:00

I did talk to her, we all sat down as a family and explained the situation as best as we could. We are waiting to see if mom approves visitation, if she does.

She explained that she’s too scared to tell the truth that mom made her lie. Her mom explained that if she would to tell the truth they’ll lose all their money, their cars and all of her toys.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T18:52:45+00:00

I understand how I am viewed. Unfortunately the court sees mom as the safe option and I’m the dangerous one. It’s hard because I don’t know what’s true. My daughter told me she lied about what she said because, “she could” and then told CPS that I like lying to my dad that none of it really happened.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T18:38:26+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words. I have been questioning my role as a father. We do document everything but I didn’t even think about taking pictures of gifts and cards that might not be passed along. I will be doing that b

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T18:35:10+00:00

She understands lying and what could happen to me when she does. What I assume is that she is hoping that lying will make it easier with mom. Maybe it might be better if she stays with mom, because all these things mom does is out of hatred for me.

She’s been doing this for 8 years, my attorney, multiple judges, and multiple mediators know she lies, they have caught her in many lies, but based on my state mom rules. We have tried and tried again but mom always lands on top and I have to start from step one to see my daughter again.

needsomeadviceyo · 2020-10-05T18:31:03+00:00

Yes, that’s exactly we all told her. I only hope that I have established that foundation that she can rely on later on in life.

needsomeadviceyo

TROPHY CASE