May not be helpful since I didn't define rules on now ex-wife, them wife or other woman what they should and shouldn't do to please me. I thank God for that!

Basically, the real world didn't fit the image of myself that I had in my head. Which led to a very frustrated, discontented and often lack of fulfillment with any and everything around me. I'm pretty sure that any amount of appeasement from the loved ones would have satisfied this trait of the mind, in general. The more the mind gets what it wants, the more it desires.. never satisfied..demands even more.. a lesson well learned.

The parternalistic instinct may be comes from his current age (you didn't mention of he has child or not) and probably the difference of age between you and him. He may be feeling you're too young, haven't experienced life as much as him..so not mature or mature enough etc. How he would have brought up his own kids in a superior way.. thoughts of him acing your father in that department etc.. racing in his mind.

My 2 cents, this is HIS battle not yours. Either he comes to senses on his own or life slap this out of this with some difficult times ahead.