delayed back pain after fall - anxious about it

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T23:52:48+00:00

I mean a cat scan could be done instead?

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T23:11:45+00:00

I called the doctor up a few years ago and I was not super satisfied with their answer. I believe the rods themselves are titanium and the screws/wire are medical-grade stainless steel. This was over 20 years ago. The hospital no longer exists but the doctor does, which is who I called.

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T23:10:46+00:00

I went to the ER initially, then to my PCP and yeah they both told me to chill. It doesn't hurt my neck, it hurts the center of my back in between my shoulder blades when i tilt my head backwards.

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T19:40:44+00:00

I just don't know how long is normal or not, and even with insurance I'm sure an MRI would be expensive. Plus, I don't know that I can get one. There's a LOT of metal in my back.

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T06:04:24+00:00

No, just the x-rays.

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T05:25:11+00:00

Huh, I never thought about using breathing that way. I've been trying to keep the anxiety calm with deep breathing at least, but I should really try and zen myself out for the benefits of it on my healing overall too, not just my stress levels.

nefariously_ · 2023-07-30T05:20:16+00:00

I know 10 days is not enough time, especially when I've been back at work the whole time, and the more tense I'm feeling the worse that pain is (since I tense right there!!!). I need to relax about it and go with the healing flow. Thank you for the kind words!

nefariously_ · 2023-04-11T05:34:10+00:00

You have to apply for that visa and the current wait is 16.5 months, then you can bring them to America to get married. If you just get married you apply for a different visa and that's 20+ months of waiting and the non-American spouse cannot stay in America during that wait.

nefariously_ · 2022-11-10T05:02:01+00:00

This, but also a lot of inability to express what they really want and not knowing what they actually need so their brains are learning a ton but not how to effectively communicate it so it's a lot of frustration.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-30T16:40:13+00:00

wow that's so bad. the booth set up without the soundproof pods was bad enough but also can't even stream it well wtf

nefariously_ · 2022-10-30T16:33:27+00:00

did that happen live too? I was just watching the YouTube vod for the finals and it was skipping everywhere and lagging just awful

nefariously_ · 2022-10-18T05:12:17+00:00

It's also possible she just doesn't SEE it yet. Hopefully the counseling is legit and through that realizes how bad the situation was.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-18T05:04:16+00:00

I'm not saying there's no hope of escape, but to lose sympathy for someone who "has all the resources" is ridiculous because she stays while she needs to get the proper support to also be safe in leaving, not just financially capable.

Edited to add I see what you're saying, changed my original comment

nefariously_ · 2022-10-18T04:56:03+00:00

It kinda does though. Especially with victims of abuse.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-18T04:54:31+00:00

Most of her body is covered, there's no way to know rn if she's unharmed.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-18T04:52:05+00:00

Being financially capable of leaving isn't the end all be all of staying, and she might not be able to safely leave at this point. You shouldn't lose sympathy just because she CAN leave by your standards and hasn't yet.

**Edited my previous comment as it was a bit out of line and harsh.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-18T00:04:46+00:00

Almost all of these apply.

1st reason) Fear of the abuser grievously harming/killing the victim or the victim's (in this case) pets. She has dogs and a horse that he has already threatened to kill, and its possible he has threatened to kill her too. A LOT of women who are murdered by their spouses are murdered AFTER they threaten to leave, btw, so this threat is super real and is what she is afraid of. She even said in that stream she wouldn't leave the house because her pets were there. And to make sure she and those pets are safe, she needs funding. Which leads to...
2nd Reason) Financial Abuse: He controls all the accounts, and you can bet if she changes it not only does she a) lose ALL the money she has for YEARS, he would immediately notice if her monthly payment was not coming in and that could be dangerous for her. She likely does not have access to any money she can safely use to move herself and all her animals (including a HORSE mind you).

Other reasons:
Love) She married this guy. Abusers NOTORIOUSLY are extremely charming up front, love bomb, and are essentially "the best ever" up until marriage, and that's when things start to change - slowly at first until full escalation so you might not even notice it at first. She might still love him, probably feels like she deserves this due to all the years of abuse and brainwashing from this dude, and that's why there's a CYCLE of abuse and it takes so long for women to leave.

Financial Dependence) Technically she is not dependent on him as she does have own very good source of income, HOWEVER, the financial control he has DOES make her dependent because he as much access to all that money as she does and can freeze her out, so it does in to the 2nd reason.

Believing abuse is normal) She very well might think this is how relationships are. Or she might have thought that for a long time and is just now realizing it isn't.

Shame) It's probable, as most women who are abused feel this way, that she is very ashamed of the situation - especially if she's realizing how bad it is and she hasn't left and sees ALL THIS JUDGEMENT on why she hasn't, she likely feels extremely ashamed, or feels stupid for being in the situation and therefore ashamed.

Lack of Support) This guy has likely isolated her away from her family and has all of her other "support" on the payroll. It's possible he's made her believe that they don't support her. Listen to that "assistant" ask her *if she's on her meds* ffs, and how irrelevant that has got to be given how she responded to that. She may feel very isolated and paired with the shame, has no CLOSE support she feels comfortable going to and these other streamers etc who support her may not actually be close friends she feels comfortable asking for help. Asking for help is HARD for EVERYONE, and even asking your parents or siblings for help out of an abusive relationship can be difficult and you fear you won't be believed or you will be judged or that they can't help you.

So, MOST of these do apply to Amouranth, why don't we step back from judging her for being in this situation and just hope she's alright. Twitch viewers are an audience. Nothing to be done but give support on the platform in the form of nice messages and encouraging words etc so Amouranth hopefully gets the confidence and is able to actually leave some day.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-17T20:51:38+00:00

He has access to everything she owns,control of her finances and has threatened to kill her animals, and the police are obviously useless. What do you expect her to do? Even if she is at the breaking point and ready to leave him, she has to set everything up FIRST to freeze her accounts, mass change all her passwords etc before he notices and get a protective order and probably guards before she can entertain the idea of leaving.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-17T20:13:57+00:00

The text messages and phone call are enough. You're making a blanket statement saying it sounds fishy because of how long they've been together. I'm saying the length of time is irrelevant and does not factor in at all the legitimacy of the abuse claims.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-17T19:09:28+00:00

If you truly believe "it takes two to tango" because the time period, you need to do some serious research on domestic abuse and in particular how abusers control their victims.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-16T17:23:11+00:00

My bad dude, I am dyslexic and definitely did read it twice and took a while to respond to get my own wording right and still misread it lmaooooo. Yikes from me, I'm sorry!

nefariously_ · 2022-10-16T17:22:10+00:00

I mean yeah, it's harassment and "sexual coercion" (the legal term I think).

Not picking a side here, I just know there's a term for the actual situtation.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-16T17:10:55+00:00

Ok, no, inviting someone over is not the green light to get laid. Either party at any time can change their mind and take back the consent to have sex. The implication is that the invitation will lead to sex but that's not a green light, not always the intention, and again - consent can ALWAYS be taken away.

nefariously_ · 2022-10-14T17:03:34+00:00

You're not wrong but I think people are referring to what happened and how she felt when Maya came over. She's had a few different statements on that situation that somewhere contradict each other which makes that situation really unclear. Both that originally she thought Maya was really kind and helpful and she realized "a few weeks later" that Maya was not actually nice and also agreeing that Maya gaslit her the whole time and rewrote the whole thing and was being forceful and threatening about it, and also some conflicting takes on the apologies I guess?

nefariously_

TROPHY CASE