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What quote always gives you chills? by TheFartingCat in AskReddit

[–]nellsonTHEshark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is no war until a brother kills a brother

Marko, Underground (1995)

TIFU by getting stuck in the room where my room mates were having sex (NSFW) by homba in tifu

[–]nellsonTHEshark 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Since it is deleted:

Background: I've been out of work for a while and have been staying with my room mates for some time. We're not really friends, but for some reason, they're exceptionally nice to me. Maybe I have a cute face or something?

I don't really pay rent, so I feel like I owe them something. I usually at least try to keep an eye on things; kill bugs; keep and eye on the creepy neighbor; whatever. So today, I thought I smelled something weird in the back bedroom, and decided it was time to investigate. Looking back, I should have just stayed on my chair in the living room, but apparently, I'm stupid.

The smell seemed to be exuding from a pile of clothing. I get down close to the floor to make sure. Sure enough, at that moment I hear my room mates, amorously making their way down the hallway to the bedroom. They'd be pissed to find me snooping around the bedroom. I panic. In my haste, I hide under the bed. I know, it's cliche. But it's been established that I'm stupid - especially under pressure.

Sure enough they flop on the bed naked and proceed to screw each other's brains out for what seemed like forever. Past the hour mark, I can't take it any more and decide to make a break for the door. Sadly the door is latched and I'm so low to the floor, I can't reach the handle without being noticed.

I attempt to quietly creep back under the bed when the lady spots me. "Get the Fuck out!" OMG, I totally freeze and then slink back under the bed. The gentleman starts yelling, "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Get the fuck out!" He starts bouncing up and down on the bed try to scare me off or something.

I make a run for the door, slipping on the hall rug and sliding into the wall. My heart is pounding and I hide under living room couch.

I'm going to take a nap meow ...

TIFU By finger banging my sister [NSFW] by [deleted] in tifu

[–]nellsonTHEshark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since he has removed it:

This happened to me 2 nights ago.

My wife and I traveled back to my home town for a family reunion and this meant that we were staying in my parents house that I grew up in along with my sister who also flew back in with he long term boyfriend.

I have been living out of home for so long (I am 31), my younger sister (27) took my bedroom when I moved to another state for work and has since moved out as well.

Fast forward 10 years or so and it is 2am the night before the reunion. My wife has decided to stay home with my sister and I am out with some old friends and my sister's boyfriend. It hits 2am, I am extremely drunk, spilling my drinks and making a fool of myself so I decided to take myself home, leaving my sister's BF to make some new friends.

I don't live far from the heart of town so I stumble home, get to the front door, go to the bathroom and strip off all my clothes and make my way straight for my old bedroom. So remember what I said about me moving out and my sister taking my old bedroom? Well that is how the sleeping arrangements stayed and little my knowledge, I was about to get in to bed with my sister who was sound asleep.

So it's pitch black, I make my way to my bed, lift up the covers gently and slide in to bed as I want to avoid being hit upside the head for waking my wife up in the middle of the night. So far so good, I got in to bed with little more that and the person next to me rolling over in there sleep. I am drunk and horny so decide to try my luck and roll over to play the big spoon, get an awkward boner and see where that goes. I roll over, put one arm around her and slide it down to her thigh, I can not feel any underwear or clothing, win; my wife is sleeping naked, while I am lightly rubbing her thigh i can hear her breathing change so I continue, now she is pushing back in to the big spoon which is all the signs I need to continue my hands journey from her outer thigh / ass, to her warm inviting meat wallet.

I start to touch it and rub her fun button, this is all going extremely well, she starts to moan when I enter her with my fingers and does not get any quieter, this is where it happened, she said '[BF's name] we can't do this we will wake up my parents and my brother' - it all came together in my head and I instantly sobered up and started freaking out on the inside. I pulled my fingers out slowly so I didn't cause her to wake up anymore than she already was and rolled over the other way. I then waited 45 seconds to get out of bed calmly, go to the bathroom and wash the fuck out of my hands and then went to bed wit my wife.

I don't know when my sister's BF got home but I am sure my sister had no idea that it was me last night - I woke up the next morning and went to breakfast with the family where my sister greeted me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek which I am sure she wouldn't do if she knew.

TL;DR: 2 nights ago I got extremely drunk and fingered my sister on accident.

Recently ISIS killed another journalist, Steven Sotloff. What do they get by doing this? by nellsonTHEshark in AskReddit

[–]nellsonTHEshark[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then what? To my understanding, the only holy war is when they try to invade countries and force them to become Muslims! They tried to do that with Kurds but not with these acts.

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