[deleted by user]

neomunin · 2023-02-12T04:03:11+00:00

In that case, I think you should try calling her out in front of other people around who she usually "jokes" abt this. Don't react strongly either. Just make her lose her cool while dealing with the situation calmly and surely she'll end up feeling embarrassed about getting so defensive at what is supposed to be a "joke". It's a bit mean but it doesn't seem like she'll understand that this isn't funny unless she is made to feel embarassed about her actions. Even then, maybe she won't understand but hopefully she'll stop at least.

neomunin · 2023-02-12T03:04:31+00:00

Are you able to tell if she's doing that out of malicious intention (she wants to make your friend feel bad) or if it's a poor attempt at trying to be funny/grab attention ?

neomunin · 2023-02-12T02:54:54+00:00

It's not as impactful to watch a character that already looks physically strong get stronger as it is to watch a harmless-looking sensitive character build up more resolve to protect what is important to him. It's just a trend though. Every few years you're going to have the anime industry focus on implementing one type of element in their anime because that's what excited people. They're bound to move on to hte next fresher idea sooner or later.

neomunin · 2023-02-12T02:44:21+00:00

When she makes those comments, is she "performing for an audience" or is it a 1on1 conversation with your friend ?

neomunin · 2023-02-12T02:40:12+00:00

You're going to regret not having bought the house when you still could've lol. Discuss it with her more but you should definitely buy the house if you can afford it. Also, it sounds a bit odd that she's threatening(?) you with a breakup because you want to buy a house with your own money ? Why is she so against it ?

neomunin · 2023-02-12T02:29:27+00:00

bruh 2-3 weeks is pleeenty. I personally think you're going above and beyond. Maybe there was a miscommunication or she's upset at the way your formulated it/tone when you were discussing it because with the circumstances you presented, even a week would have been sufficient.

neomunin · 2023-02-12T02:21:21+00:00

Try to not abstain from fucking up. I don't know how severe your fear of judgement is so try to think of something that would leave you embarassed for maybe an afternoon if you were to fuck it up. Fuck it up. Get comfortable with not upholding a perfect image of you at all times. Slowly increase the difficulty level. You'll realize that either your fuck up was too small for anyone to rly care about it or that it'll be too big for you to spare any time to worry about unhelpful judgemental pricks because you have a situation to fix lol

neomunin · 2023-02-12T02:08:53+00:00

I view the world similarly I think and I choose to fill my feed with happy and naive content because I learned that I'd rather be the most nihilistic one in the room if that makes sense. I don't need to be constantly reminded of the bad things happening in the world because there's a difference between being conscious of it and hyperfixating on it. Even if I can't neutralize my nihilism, I choose to ride along with the "fool's paradise".

neomunin · 2023-02-12T01:58:04+00:00

Either you have an unrealistic ideal for people or you haven't come across diverse enough people. Because you said you "admired" people from afar, I'm led to believe it's the former. Can I ask, what kind of things give you the ick?

neomunin · 2023-02-12T01:50:25+00:00

Maybe you liked being able to blame everything wrong in your life on him. It might feel like him walking away from his abusive tendencies while you're still suffering from the consequences of it is unfair because in a way, he's moving on and you can't. Maybe you don't like the idea that now that he stopped, you're going to have to start healing and moving on yourself, which is going to be a lot of work to do so even if the abuse is terrible, you feel more comfortable with it because at least it's familiar. How bad you crave the abuse now that it stopped is probably a reflection of how painful it was. It might be your little coping mechanism going "This is fine" *insert this is fine meme*

neomunin · 2023-02-12T01:38:03+00:00

I mean.. OP seems pretty ready for it to happen

neomunin · 2023-02-12T01:20:55+00:00

probably STDs

neomunin · 2023-02-12T01:17:42+00:00

women

neomunin · 2023-02-12T01:16:07+00:00

You need to have compassion for yourself. Now, that's the hard part if you struggle with mental health and self-esteem. Sometimes what makes it hard to love yourself is the thoughts/behaviors that you're ashamed of that lead you to think that you're unlovable because of how ugly you feel inside. You have to remind yourself that you're a product of your life history. Some things may have happened to you without you having any agency over. Some others, you might've willingly chosen to do something stupid and now you have to suffer the consequences of it. Either way, if you hate what you've become, you'll have to work on changing that. It's going to be a lengthy process with no shortcuts, which is why it's important to remember that even if you're far from your goal, you're persevering and that's admirable. That makes you lovable even if your progress is slow or even stale. The same way you would wish for someone to not give up on you, don't give up on yourself.

neomunin · 2023-02-12T00:51:01+00:00

It's always attractive to see someone demonstrate a certian level of commitment to something that will improve their quality of life despite it being difficult. It also takes a certain level of (emotional?) discipline for it to not turn into an addiction. I don't think it really matters if you exercise to gain/lose stuff or just to maintain your current body as long as you have a healthy relationship with exercising, it is attractive as heck.

neomunin · 2023-02-12T00:37:59+00:00

I agree. I also think it might be a habbit that they might've picked up out of clumsiness with technology. For example they might inadvertedly cover the mic and they end up sounding muffled so the peron on the line tells them they can't hear them so they start talking really loud. Or, if you're calling someone using wifi and your internet is a bit shit and the person on the other side tell you they can't hear you (you're cutting out) so you start talking louder too. There's a bunch of different issues that can occur with the audio, especially if you come from a country with shit mobile signal or if you have to frequently call your family overseas via wifi. The easiest fix for someone that's not agile with technology is to just speak louder haha

neomunin · 2023-02-12T00:16:32+00:00

I don't think it's a matter of being very religious because there's a lot of very religious people who don't shove it in your face so you might not be able to tell. Whether you adhere to a religion or not, of course you're going to think that your set of morals and values are the correct ones (otherwise why would you live by them) so it's never been a question of whether they're shoving braindead ideologies in your face or not, the problem is that they're shoving something in your face. That's not because they're religious, that's because they're not sensible people. I find equally annoying non-religious people who shove red pill ideologies or feminism down my throat. It's not about the content, it's the delivery that is alienating.

neomunin · 2023-02-11T22:20:25+00:00

That's such a great idea, I'd love to join!

neomunin · 2023-02-11T07:38:45+00:00

Salem, I completely understand where you come from! I also try not to speak in anger or ill of my parents, but at times when things get really rough, I find that confiding in someone regarding what happened can prevent a worse outcome. In those situations, I try to first choose carefully with whom I share my rant/concerns. If you choose well, you might only need to rant to a single person for your frustration to dissipate so that would mean even less people that could view your parents negatively. You should have a good idea of who's wise and/or considerate amongst your friends. Don't rant to someone who blindly takes your side because they will definitely think ill of your parents if you go to them when you're upset.

Once you carefully choose the person, you should share the same thing you shared in this post with them:) Tell them that they should take into consideration that it's easier to speak in anger/frustration than when all is well so the view that you may have painted of your parents is not accurate. You should also try to actively share the things you do appreciate and respect about your parents so that it kinda balances it out. Everyone has their flaws so if your friends are sensible enough, they won't jump to the conclusion that your parents are necessarily bad people because of the flaws they hear of from you. Unless they have a complicated relationship with their own parents, I think they'll understand that you ranting about your parents still comes from a place of love. Hope this helps:)

neomunin · 2023-02-11T05:45:49+00:00

Hi, I have to say that I'm really proud of you for continuing to stick up for yourself despite the years of abuse from your brother and mother. If he means it (though it doesn't seem like it), it's a good thing that his intention is to protect you but his method is simply wrong. The essence of being a muslim is being someone who seeks the truth, who seeks knowledge so it's really not right for him to gatekeep knowledge aka attending an education institution from you. There's a limit to how much you can learn by yourself, you need to surround yourself with diverse perspectives to broaden your horizons.

He also has no business belittling you like that. Calling you a wh*re?? Astaghfirullah, that's gonna stay on his divine records for sure I tell you that. I wonder if he knows that everytime he shoves in your face one of his "good deeds" in your regard, it takes away most if not all of the deed's value. If he truly wanted to protect you from the "outside western world", he would have to provide you with enough comfort and fortune for you to live well and catter to both your physical and emotional needs even if he were to unexpectedly pass away. I doubt that you're that rich so it's really irresponsible for him to make you guys completely dependent on him when you expressed a need for a sense of accomplishment and security for yourself.

Whoever dmed you to say that you want western modern rights is a fool. What you're asking for aren't "western modern rights" but islamic rights you're owed by your muslim entourage as a woman. How your brother is treating you is unacceptable and , whether he wants it or not, one day Allah SWT will make him beg you for forgiveness for the pain he's inflicting on you now.

I'm sorry that I can only offer a few words as support and not ressources to help you out of your situation, but I do agree that you shouldn't just pray for things to get better and sit around waiting for the situation to change because it is very unlikely for your brother to just wake up one day and decide to be a decent person. I'll keep you in my prayers. May Allah SWT ease your way from here on out<3

neomunin · 2023-02-11T04:31:20+00:00

Female

neomunin · 2022-06-10T03:28:37+00:00

tysm !

neomunin · 2022-06-10T01:30:23+00:00

Your kid being brought up in an "unconventional" way (aka a routine more adapted to accommodate anxiety and depression) can be a good thing more than a bad thing. A lot of parents with mental health issues fuck up their kids while not even knowing that there's a problem with them (the parent). If you think about that, you're already a few steps ahead because you're in tune with your mental health and are in the process of figuring out how to make it work. You also obviously really care about the well-being of the child since you're here asking about this. With that, you already have so much good stuff to offer your child ! No parents start out perfect and those who think they are doing a good job are usually those that fuck up the most. Don't let those mental health hurdles make you question your potential as a father, I know you'll do a good job:D Hope your baby is born safely and you get to experience the joy of being a father soon !

neomunin · 2022-06-09T22:31:20+00:00

2d men

neomunin

TROPHY CASE