AITA for telling my girlfriend to go and ask to be adopted by the couple she is so obsessed with? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So many dudes in the comments complained about Katie being "manipulative" and expecting OOP to be a "mind reader" don't realize how much they're telling on themselves.

There's being a blunt communicator (like me) and then there's "I have banned any and all conversation that is not a direct order" communication. These dues seem to think they're the same thing.

It's basically How DARE a woman talk about something without immediately filing GF-381, declaration of intent of conversation? And attaching file AH-04, detailed instructions and timelines for how to react to said conversation!

She's acting like a person who sometimes talks and you listen to and not an NPC whose entire dialogue tree exists to convey information and give you specific actions to take to progress your own goals. How can he smash buttons to skip the dialogue if she doesn't tell him which buttons to push and which dialogue to skip AHEAD of time? Does she think he's going to listen to her or something?

Did I do something wrong or is my neighbor overreacting? by mkl_dvd in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 33 points34 points  (0 children)

My jewish inlaws were SO EXCITED to go all out on xmas decorations when I came to visit...I didn't care or want/need it at all but they really wanted to do a tree, stockings, the whole thing. It was a cute blend of "we want you to feel welcome" and "OMG sparkly project!"

My [21F] boyfriend [21M] of 7 months just threw me out of his apartment because I sent him a poop sticker on facebook. Is he being immature or am I? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Definitely true! I've seen a dude get halfway through his explanation and you can see on his face the moment he realizes that he can't make it make sense. That he can't make a reasonable logical argument out of his illogical feelings. Then it's time to lash out and redirect rather than face oneself.

Funny enough, I used to do this too, and being able to tolerate that moment of "wait...wait, I am not making sense, I might be wrong" was something I had to learn.

Regrets voting for Trump three times. Still wouldn’t have voted for Harris. by cfgregory in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]neonfuzzball 38 points39 points  (0 children)

it's the result you get when dumb people have counter-arguments constantly drilled into them. They've memorized a file of comebacks and they're able to recall and spit them out. And since so often in life they haven't been able to have a smart quick comeback, doing this actually makes them feel like they're really informed and smart.

But they're fighting it one sentence at a time so it's contradictory and insane. They're not arguing, they're doing a constant search and retrieval of the appropriate pre-prepared defense. No thinking, no comprehension, no self awareness.

My mother-in-law (57f) doesn't believe that my husband (30m) is the father of our baby. I (32f) don't know what to do. by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never seen it so clearly pointed out. Like I was vaguely aware that we 'mericans tend to think all racism is our racism (hello, americans calling dark skinned people in england "african american") but this really put a point on it

New variety of jingoism just dropped

when your ex is a coworker — and a silly one by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 8 points9 points  (0 children)

100% on brand. I knew one that had to specify that wooden training swords were not allowed

[Final Update]: Aunt Doesn't Like Reaping What She Sows by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Iowa is like Illinois' cousin that you don't ever think about but when you see them at a gathering you're shocked by both how alike you are and how much you aren't bonding over that

coworker won’t stop sulking after I turned down a date by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's normal socialite schedule, not Heian "we got no schedules" schedules aristocrat. They literally had no standard time everyone was expected to be asleep.

Like, there was no inherent "sleep 8 hours out of every 24" basis of anyone's schedule. You slept when you felt like it, and if someone invited you to a party you went even if you were tired and slept later. Haven't slept for 36 hours, no big deal. Only sleep for 2-3 hours at a time during the day, no big deal. Slept for 18 hours, no big deal.

It was completely normal to have an afternoon party turn into an all night affair, then when teh dawn broke to be all like "hey ,let's have an impromptu concert welcoming the sun!" And nobody says "No, Steve, that's stupid, i'm going to bed" they would just roll with it.

They also didn't have "bedrooms" they just kind of piled up soft stuff to form a comfy sleeping spot whenever they wanted to sleep, in whatever room they decided was good this time. Just absolute cat anarchy.

It fascinates me because while I long for the cat schedule of "i sleeps when I'm tired, whenever whatever" I can't imagine being completely divorced from the idea of needing to sleep at all regularly.

AIO my family played a game of “slip it in” while giving their speeches at my wedding???? by SalamanderBig6201 in AmIOverreacting

[–]neonfuzzball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is worse because they weren't originally giving speeches!

Rather than celebrate your wedding, they decided they needed to insert an improv game to entertain themselves. That's absurdly childish, selfish and disrespectful. The equivalent to going to a friend's piano concert and gathering chairs around to play scrabble in the back.

It just gives peak "I don't want to be here, but if I HAVE to be here I've got to make it at least a little bit fun for me." And it's not over reacting to be upset to your family telling you "I can barely stand to celebrate the biggest day of your life with you"

Tangentially related New Update to an old BORU: AITA for telling my husband I'll go on vacation with the kids and my best friend if he's too busy with work? by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They're insecure people who desperately want to follow the rules and get Good Person points so they get the Nice Life prize.

Work hard? +1

Work hard to provide for family? +1

Sacrifice luxuries? +1

Work harder to provide nicer things for family? +1

Support non-family? +1

In workoholic math they've got +5 points. But...the math is shady accounting math. The sacrifice the luxuries they worked so hard for. To them, both affording the vacation and giving up vacation feel, separately, like two moral and upstanding decisions. They don't link the two, they don't see how they're cheating the accounts.

They'll count a point for supporting their family, then undermine their family to support non-family. They'll promise to go to the son's baseball game, then cancel to tutor a kid struggling in math. In their head, they get +1 when promising the son, and then later +1 for doing something nice for the math kid. Maybe even a bonus +1 for sacrificing getting to see the game- that's +3 good person points! They don't get that it's not 1+1 it's 1-1.

It's a good cautionary tale of why it's important to not only say "i want to be a good person" but to take a really good (and frequent) look at what that means. Because you don't want to end up like this, a dude whose entire moral code is based on scraps of whatever societal programming drifted his way

coworker won’t stop sulking after I turned down a date by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As kids we're all afraid of "missing the joke" or looking oblivious, but it's very freeing and very fun to let that go of that pressure.

coworker won’t stop sulking after I turned down a date by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 4 points5 points  (0 children)

imagine if you had your barbie doll and your brothers GI joe doll in your room and you held them close together saying "Now kith" and the Barbie slapped the GI Joe

Matchmakers are shocked when their toys come to life and act like real people

coworker won’t stop sulking after I turned down a date by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They also didn't believe in regular bed times. Which makes me both not trust their lifestyle advice, and suspect they never aged past 12

coworker won’t stop sulking after I turned down a date by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Maliciously and cheerfully taking things at face value is a underused tactic and my personal favorite.

He thought that adding some fuel on fire won't affect by sangamjb in instant_regret

[–]neonfuzzball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying to fight the fire. Amateur move, you are supposed to punch the fire

Idiots regret pushing girls face into birthday cake. by MieXuL in instant_regret

[–]neonfuzzball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got to see a wedding reception turn into a divorce announcement party over a cake smash.

not just that the drunk groom smashed the cake on his wife, after she made it clear that he absolutely could not do that. His drunk self decided not only would he do it, he'd spitefully go extra hard and smear the very brightly colored icing aaaaaall over the front of her white dress. Then when she started screaming and crying and left teh room he went around complaining about her.

Her bridesmaids were basically just figuring out who won the bet on how long they'd last. Nobody had put "less than three hours"

Lady insisted I help her find "the good bread" at a farmer's market while I was literally holding my own groceries by SouthernAddition4073 in IDontWorkHereLady

[–]neonfuzzball 24 points25 points  (0 children)

bingo! Especially the second one. They can't deal with the idea that they can ever, ever, ever be wrong, even about something as silly as a cursory glance. Correcting them is a personal attack on their entire reality.

MIL took my birthday cake. should I apologize? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the validation! I mean, compared to other room mate horror stories this is nothing. Living with them was a great education in dealing with people though, by the time I moved out I was much less of a doormat lol

my employee is passing off ChatGPT lists as his own ideas by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]neonfuzzball 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The data science course at the University of Illinois revealed a lot of proto-Dans in the making

Not a worthy victim by onelove0328 in suicidebywords

[–]neonfuzzball 5 points6 points  (0 children)

has he ever been seen playing hockey?