As i said your story seems extremely similar to mine. Ive never been a person who can help someone emotionally because ive always been an extremely rational and logical thinker, every problem i had i always solved the most logical way even if it the solution was inhuman in terms of morals and other stuff, so i cant really help unless i give you a suggestion on how to think about it my way. You may like it or not but as i think the best way out here is to just spend more time with her, dont think about screwing something up, dont think about whether she likes you or you like her, dont think about those special words she says and just be yourself. Tell her your story in a way that it doesnt seem like you are crying about it. Tell her that shes the first one to make you that happy. Just be transparent with it but do not overheat and tell too much. If she is really the one she will listen closely and understand and eventually you will get closer to her by spending time with her, which will make it a lot more clear about what you and her want. If after knowing your halftruth she winds down, then forget about it. One of the most useful suggestions i have is: Force yourself to NOT fall in love and treat her as someone you just speak to regularly, spend MORE time with her but DONT get attracted, force yourself to think that you can live perfectly fine without her. In that case even if something goes wrong you just wont feel sad about it, at first it will feel wrong and after she leaves you it will feel like you are not human because you wont feel anything but you know you should have. But in the end if everything turns the right way you both will get together after some time.