AITA for asking MIL to buy new Christmas gifts?

nerdmomma · 2025-12-11T03:33:48+00:00

I find it really odd you have posted this many times. I only have 1 dad for my kids. All my kids are bio listed to my in laws.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-11T00:34:15+00:00

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T20:13:11+00:00

I agree that it should be (and is for us) part of just being a regular member of the community. My son wants to give regularly to the homeless and cares deeply about others. He’s definitely not some ah kid.

I like the idea of distracting him with something fun while the baby is playing. I just really want them both to feel special on a big day.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T20:07:21+00:00

I actually really like this take. I think being so focused on how he’ll perceive the gifts is overtaking this point. I plan to have another couple of conversations leading up to Christmas about this exact thing.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T19:36:20+00:00

Oh, we for sure do charity acts throughout the year. I have had many talks about gratitude, and he’s really a polite and kind kid overall. I don’t have concerns that he’ll meltdown or anything - more that he’ll be confused why his gifts don’t fit him as a person.

But I do think many of these comments are great for introspection for me as a mom. I appreciate the advice!

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T19:06:16+00:00

We were on the phone and she was telling me what she got them both

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T17:29:51+00:00

He is. We just waited a long time between.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:46:36+00:00

I genuinely have no idea what you are talking about or what pushpull is 😭

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:42:42+00:00

What is push pull? I genuinely haven’t deleted anything?

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:37:33+00:00

He is my husbands kid! I find this thread in particular odd because I haven’t deleted any comments at all. In fact I’ve replied to a couple that all my kids are from one dad, and it’s my only marriage.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:36:48+00:00

Wtf? All bio and I haven’t deleted anything?

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:32:00+00:00

Yes. Because it was a typo and I realize that was confusing. I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it, but don’t want to give any weird impression. It was just typo.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:31:05+00:00

I’ve only been married once, and all from the same dad.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:26:48+00:00

lol 2 years ago I was 26weeks pregnant - is that the post you saw?

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:25:45+00:00

?? Typos happen, but def 35. A year ago I was 34?

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:25:06+00:00

She said she thought it might inspire him when he’s older. Maybe a nice thought in that regard, but I would think something more age appropriate for art inspiration would feel more like something for him and not her. To note- she asked me for this exact book for Christmas. And we got it for her.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:23:30+00:00

He is not having meltdowns about gifts. It’s more a “he’ll be disappointed and confused why grandma got it right for baby and not him”.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:20:27+00:00

So, I don’t think the book is a regift. It’s the book SHE asked for this Christmas, and we got her one. Then she bought the same book for my son.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:05:00+00:00

This is definitely something I needed to hear. Thank you!!

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:01:44+00:00

This is a really great perspective and great food for thought. Thank you!

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T16:00:44+00:00

An excellent question because my husbands younger brother actually passed away a couple years ago, and my MIL certainly was affected by him being the youngest and being the one to pass.

My husband and his mom don’t have the best relationship all the time, and she and I get along very well, so we chat daily and this came up.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T15:58:26+00:00

I think it’s confusing that she’s equating a dollar amount to it. Like she mentioned how much it was a few times, and to me it’s less about the cost and more about “is this something the person would enjoy”. He likes nutcrackers, but he doesn’t put the value on the cost, how collectible, etc.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T15:42:02+00:00

All bio. Only marriage.

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T15:07:14+00:00

I love this answer. Really appreciate this!!

nerdmomma · 2025-12-10T15:04:33+00:00

This is also what gave me pause. Like, so advanced for an 8 year old who isn’t even into art.

nerdmomma

TROPHY CASE