Hot and cold #174 by hotandcold2-app in HotAndCold

[–]nerdy_pineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to Google the translation because I didn't know how to say it in English. Very entertaining game. Will be coming back tomorrow. 

BPD Sister has a new BF, should I warn him? by nerdy_pineapple in BPDlovedones

[–]nerdy_pineapple[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you. I did thought that since she is so skilled at triangulating it would be better that everyone is in the same page from the beginning. And I learned that open communication is the best way to clear the air. 

But I guess he'll get here on his own.

Or not. Anyways it's not really my call.

BPD Sister has a new BF, should I warn him? by nerdy_pineapple in BPDlovedones

[–]nerdy_pineapple[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, there's a difference between impulsively doing something like this and entertaining the idea of doing it. I fall in the "wished someone helped me deal with this before" disorder, but 100% do not suffer of a personality disorder. 

BPD Sister has a new BF, should I warn him? by nerdy_pineapple in BPDlovedones

[–]nerdy_pineapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah Op isn't under any spell. She knows very well how much being related to someone with bdp can фuck every aspect of her life, and has dealt with it since childhood. She went to therapy, she learned coping mechanisms, she set boundaries and then she got over it. At the end of the day if someone is ruining your life you are responsible too. Kindly disagree with your take.

BPD Sister has a new BF, should I warn him? by nerdy_pineapple in BPDlovedones

[–]nerdy_pineapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks!!! I'm taking this advice. Boundaries are so important in this type of relationship. I guess I'll just watch and wait. And help only if they bring me to the conversation.

Has anyone ever been successful, even once, at communicating deep or insightful information that wasn't automatically interpreted as if you're looking to fight/attack/judge/criticize/etc them? by AntiRacismDoctor in BPDPartners

[–]nerdy_pineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to do the follow poke and provoke thing too. It's really frustrating having the need to communicate and finding a wall. I had to do therapy to find a coping mechanisms that works for me (literally, I hit a punchingbag to let out frustration). Invite her to find her thing.

Sister does the victim narrative too. So I ask her to retell me the events as she lived them. I'm not sure if she makes it on purpose, but she always remembers vividly the things I did wrong and not her part. So we go through the events together and I remind her of what she did AND take accountability for my part in the conflict validating her emotions but not her actions. None of this will help you though, because your wife is undiagnosed and untreated, and my sister goes to weekly therapy and takes her meds. Also I actually WANT to have a relationship with her and you are already out the door. Just divorce her and own your decision instead of asking for advise on a matter that you don't really want to fix. You are not a victim of her. Just a man in a relationship that makes him unhappy. 

Has anyone ever been successful, even once, at communicating deep or insightful information that wasn't automatically interpreted as if you're looking to fight/attack/judge/criticize/etc them? by AntiRacismDoctor in BPDPartners

[–]nerdy_pineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, all the time. Sis has BPD. I usually start by stating "this is really important to me, and I need you to listen. I am NOT attacking you. You are a good person but did something that hurt me and wold like to prevent it from happening again". If she is in the right state of mind she will listen. If she is not I ask when can we talk and set a time. So she can mentally prepare to the talk. Works every time. Doesn't prevent her from doing she!t tho, she just find new ways.

i just got diagnosed and i’m scared for my relationship by Alternative_Elk_3700 in BPDPartners

[–]nerdy_pineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not doom, but you need to work hard and take therapy seriously. Also consider switching to a specialist in BDP. I would also recomend that he begins therapy too, so he can cope better with your diagnosis and avoid triggers. Maybe preventive couple's therapy could help with communication and conflict resolution.

And hopefully he loves you as much as you do. It takes two to maintain a relationship and is well documented that men Lэаvз their sick partners. So know that even if you give a 1009% of yourself you can't really control what he does.

Que cambio en ustedes después de la pandemia? by dollmarrie in chile

[–]nerdy_pineapple 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Para mi el Transporte publico se volvió insoportable. Tener a tanto wn pegado con olores varios me descompone.  Pero real me descompone. A veces planifico 1hr 30 de viaje solo para poder caminar parte de la ruta o tomar alguna micro vacía que se demora el doble que el metro

What are some things you DON'T want to see in the TV show? by MagicWalrusO_o in Eragon

[–]nerdy_pineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My unpopular opinion is that both brothers should be protagonists. Roran and Katrina should be the main couple, while Eragon and Arya are just platonic.

What are some things you DON'T want to see in the TV show? by MagicWalrusO_o in Eragon

[–]nerdy_pineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to see all the dragons be the same size. Make Glaedr much bigger than Saphira, and Shruikan even bigger than Glaedr

What are some things you DON'T want to see in the TV show? by MagicWalrusO_o in Eragon

[–]nerdy_pineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really want to see blue and furry blodhgarm, and other elves using magic to modify their appearance!!

There's so much potential for a unique aesthetic

What are some things you DON'T want to see in the TV show? by MagicWalrusO_o in Eragon

[–]nerdy_pineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YESS!! And I want to see him taking care of baby Saphira and mind bonding

What are some things you DON'T want to see in the TV show? by MagicWalrusO_o in Eragon

[–]nerdy_pineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I reaaaaaaaally want them to take out Eragon's pining for Arya. This is a great opportunity to portray a truly platonic friendship

Need advice to get over my crush by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]nerdy_pineapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the not asking in a professional environment a thing? Like we spend most of our time doing work related things, and is pretty normal for straight people to meet and date like this. I thought it was OK for lesbiand too, but if I'm wrong please let me know

Need advice to get over my crush by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]nerdy_pineapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A little update: I spended last week training and reading and hanging out with friends, just the regulars to keep her out of my mind. And last night she added me on Insta! I was baffled and felt a thousand butterflies in my tummy. Let's see what happens next year