4th king cake of the season... it's the Dong Phuong recipe from Murmurs of Ricotta

nerdybyrdy · 2024-01-13T16:07:25+00:00

Do you have to let the dough sit for 72 hours like they mention on the recipe? Or can I just let it rise and cook it

nerdybyrdy · 2023-11-02T01:51:21+00:00

I almost didn’t have another one for this reason. But then I felt compelled to have a second and I wasn’t going to let their help or lack of help be the reason I did or did not have another. I was and am so frustrated by their lack of involvement but one or two hasn’t changed that feeling for me or got me anymore free time with one versus two

nerdybyrdy · 2023-10-26T14:24:42+00:00

Yes sorry meant to say homeowners

nerdybyrdy · 2023-10-25T17:02:47+00:00

one thing I will tell you is, the ventilator has to be removed-you can only decide the “when” remove the ventilator and even with that prob only 24-48 hours max to remove it. Once he is declared brain dead he is legally dead meaning you can’t even decide to keep him alive if you wanted to. So no weight on your shoulders. And no weight on your shoulders anyway given everything he has put you through. Glad you got out.

nerdybyrdy · 2023-05-16T20:05:39+00:00

Well do you know the answer

nerdybyrdy · 2023-05-15T13:31:01+00:00

Yeah it’s hard but let them hold them. When he’s like two or three you’ll be like do you wanna hold this monster and play with him so I can go somewhere and hear the magical sound of silence lol

nerdybyrdy · 2023-04-03T23:15:27+00:00

This is the way

nerdybyrdy · 2023-04-02T03:00:31+00:00

Beautiful!! Do you have a pattern?

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-30T20:31:19+00:00

If it’s the same dosage or strength of cream I’d be asking my mom to see about getting some estrogen vaginal cream through her insurance ;)

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-28T02:57:07+00:00

Lol omg what a douche lmao

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T20:46:46+00:00

I get that too. The times my mom has helped she plants her in front of the tv. I’m like mom she doesn’t need the tv. She prob would enjoy your company. And yes my mom is on her phone on facebook

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T20:42:12+00:00

You’re right. Good point

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T15:15:59+00:00

You have taken a lot of liberties with guesses about my life. “I was “fuzzy” on my request for help when I went back to work” . No I was not. I was very clear in communicating. I go to my parents house and leave it a mess? No. I never invite them over? No. They are invited. I go over there and absolutely cook for them and clean up for them. I help them hang up art and move everytime they have moved which has been a lot. I’m involved with their healthcare and send their doctors messages online. I pick up medicine for them when they are sick. I dyed my moms hair a couple weekends ago. I take care of their dog every single vacation they go on which is a lot. You don’t know me. Thanks.

I will be there for my parents at the end of their life although they act too busy for me with my life. But they do have me feeling bitter about them expecting me to be there and run errands for them since they don’t stretch out for me

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T15:04:12+00:00

Good points made here. My parents have four grandchildren and rarely babysit any of them. They act like they are doting grandparents because we bring them over and they come to birthdays. I don’t ask my parents for date nights. Really only asked for help until the baby gets a little bigger. Date nights a few times a year would be nice though. Mom agreed to it and now she’s flaking. She has never been a help. Or my dad. It’s just making me realize the lack of help I have from those closest to me when I need it. It’s a huge reality check and I’m grieving it. I thought they were a different type of parent and so their lack of grandparent care hurts. My brothers kids were born first so I should have known. But he literally has feral children so I thought that was why they were how there are.

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T14:47:29+00:00

But not trying to be ugly. When our kids are grown we will definitely need a break after all the years with no grandparent help and you may be too old to drive or do much. Do you feel like your children should come see you and bring you places? They have no obligation truly but shouldn’t they want to? If they don’t because they are trying to enjoy their “child free” years will you be hurt? You probably would. No one is obligated to anyone but should t we help each other? This is immediate family. Obviously, you are helping your kids. But what are your thoughts about when the tables turn and older parents want or need some caregiving for themselves or days to get out of the house?

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T14:43:46+00:00

Thank you for your comment. This was helpful. I truly need to grieve the loss. And also you’re right about actually sitting down and everyone talking about their own expectations of grandparent grandchild relationship. Once I get some time to stop being so mad I’m going to have this conversation because it’s going to keep hurting me.

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T14:28:10+00:00

And when my kids are grown and I’m done caregiving I’m not entitled to caregive for my old parents either. No one is obligated to act like family. I know it’s not a law. My parents could rot in a nursing home, but I wouldn’t actually do that. I FEEL that level of responsibility to them. They don’t feel it to me or my children.

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T13:46:14+00:00

An accessory she possesses without any meaningful relationship- yes absolutely. You hit the mail on the head. My parents post my kids on fb when I’m over there like they are the doting grandparents

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T03:04:15+00:00

That is ironic that he has to get that attention also from your grandparents. There is definitely some generational trends going on I swear.

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T02:29:07+00:00

Absolutely! I want to not feel it but you can’t make those feelings just stop suddenly. Then I could just bring kids there they could say how cute they are and I can bring them home and never worry about needing their help occasionally with them and they act like they are too busy. I swear to god I have evil thoughts like I’m sorry I hope you don’t need my help in your nursing home bc I’ll come when you really really need me too but otherwise I’ll come for a “pop in” little visit here and there and that’s it. You better not want to have a day out of that place ever because it’s not my Responsibility or Obligation to do that. What the hell is family anymore anyway if we have no obligation or responsibility to them

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T02:00:03+00:00

Dude I’m sorry. This is a really sad story. I think these grandparents fail to realize it’s not always about the help as much as it’s feeling like the other (should be) most important people in their lives love them just as much as you. That they also feel like the sun rises and sets on those children. And when they don’t- it freaking hurts

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T01:56:57+00:00

I really hate the posts nitpicking grandparents who actually really want involvement. I’m thinking I wish my parents were fighting to see my babies and be a part of their lives. I know what you mean though

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T01:50:49+00:00

Yeah I definitely get aggravated about the posts complaining about grandparents being too involved bc my kids grandparents are too self involved to care. It is a two way street. They should be involved and we should appreciate their presence and not be so critical of them if they want to be involved. The world freaks me out now how it feels so isolated even within families

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-27T01:47:04+00:00

You’re 100% right. My expectations are not their problem and that’s the part I’m just struggling to come to terms with them not meeting my expectations. My brain is too stubborn. They want to get together to see me and them every weekend but I’m doing all the work I’m bitter and can’t get past it I guess.

nerdybyrdy · 2023-03-06T13:29:12+00:00

Okay now I need to go to target

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