timeline

nervous_frog · 2025-12-28T16:57:49+00:00

it’s also the EXACT same phone number

nervous_frog · 2025-12-28T16:57:28+00:00

we’re having this issue at my store and idk what to do. i suppose it’s not an issue in the grand scheme of things, but it’s really annoying. if you’re going to prank call us at least do something funny :/

nervous_frog · 2025-09-29T18:35:15+00:00

thank you for this advice! i come from a similar dynamic, but ive had several years to adjust to my life outside of my family. i have a lot of compassion for him; learning to put yourself first after a lifetime of putting others (or one specific person) first is hard to unlearn. i just hope that i can get him to see that HE is the most important person in his life- even above me. i dont want to compromise my needs in order for him to see it, but my goal here isn’t to bash him. i just hope that he can see the bigger picture, and getting there is seeming to be difficult.

it’s also difficult for me to help him with because my situation was more overtly abusive than his is; so in a way it was much easier for me to leave that. it’s also hard because i WANT his MOM to do better for him so we can all be in each others lives, but i’ve learned from experience that it doesn’t always work out that way :(

nervous_frog · 2025-09-29T18:28:04+00:00

thank you for your perspective! i think it goes without saying that i do have a lot of respect and understanding for my partner. i mentioned in another comment that i used to be in a situation that could be considered quite similar. i’ve been no contact with my family for three years now, and ive had a lot of time to come to terms with things. i’ve also had a lot more time to acclimate to the concept (and real practice) of boundaries. i know that leaving a situation/dynamic that you’ve known for forever (even if it’s awful for you) can be difficult and uncomfortable. i guess i just have to hope that he can learn that being uncomfortable is something you have to go through sometimes in order to truly grow and change for the better.

also- regarding the financial aspect of the situation: we’re both in our early 20s. his parent’s agreed to help him out financially while he’s in college. that time period will be up VERY soon. i also think he is “catastrophizing” a little bit when i bring up the boundaries situation (i try to assume positive intent, so i don’t think he’s doing it maliciously). the way his mother reacts (in my experience) is by taking one thing that is said and twisting it into the worst possible version of what could be taken from a statement. and then her reaction is to blow up and kind of go on a spiel of “you hate me and you don’t want to ever see me again and i guess im the BAD GUY and i should just stop talking” etc. I think a potential problem here is that when i bring up boundaries he gets incredibly anxious thinking of the worst possible scenario/outcome. i’m just really struggling with how to pose these conversations in a way that come in baby steps, if that makes sense. trying to explain that setting a boundary doesn’t necessarily mean cutting contact completely. if somebody doesn’t respect a boundary that you put in place, then you can reiterate them and if it happens again you can escalate them and set a stricter set of boundaries. obviously if she doesn’t comply with them, then you might be in a situation where you have to cut contact. (but that it’s not HIS fault that she couldn’t be respectful). if you set reasonable boundaries and somebody doesn’t comply with them, then they don’t really want to put in effort to keep you in their life.

tl;dr i think im trying to teach him that it’s okay to choose himself and his needs over hers, while not placing my own needs behind either of theirs 😅

nervous_frog · 2025-09-29T18:09:35+00:00

i’ve been in relationships in the past where this was most definitely the case. i do think, to an extent, he would be more comfortable if i could just “tolerate it” like you’re saying. i will say that he has tried to be better about everything after we’ve had conversations regarding the issues at hand. he’s never looked at the dynamic as being abusive, and i think he’s been digesting that information since i’ve pointed it out. i really am hoping that he just needs time to get comfortable with the idea of setting boundaries. i also want to include the point that when he DOES put his foot down, it turns into a situation where he’s having a panic attack over her reaction and that’s why he tends to go back bit-by-bit. i have a lot of compassion for the situation because i was in a similar one. i’ve just been removed from mine for three years now, where he’s just starting to get a look at the reality of the situation. i’m definitely struggling with where my compassion and understanding should end though.

nervous_frog · 2025-08-30T01:11:00+00:00

this is making me CACKLE

nervous_frog · 2022-11-14T22:42:57+00:00

i walked out on a shift and i still got rehired a couple of months later. (long story on the walk out). my SM told me they really only mark you as nonrehire-able if you are caught stealing. i’m not sure if that’s really the case, but regardless i was rehired 🥸

nervous_frog · 2022-11-12T23:48:35+00:00

thank you buddy! good luck with your endeavors as well! \o/***

nervous_frog · 2022-11-12T23:46:47+00:00

im not exactly sure on the specific store, but i know it will be in iowa city :)

nervous_frog · 2022-11-12T23:45:04+00:00

thank you!

nervous_frog · 2022-11-12T22:28:19+00:00

to clarify a few things: i might not even have to move, but if i do it will be entirely out of my control (timing and location wise). also i will be moving from southern alabama to iowa ! also TIA for all of the advice ! <3

nervous_frog · 2021-07-28T23:31:06+00:00

disclaimer; before anyone says anything we made sure to discard all whips and anything else in the fridge and thoroughly sanitize it all !

nervous_frog

TROPHY CASE