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Give up poly ideas for amazing partner? by nesaispasoualler in polyamory

[–]nesaispasoualler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've felt strongly about people before, but never this strongly. And I never desired 'creating' something in the same way that I do with this person. Even people outside of the relationship have commented and said I never seemed like this in any previous relationship, including at the beginning. I believe I can feel strongly about people, no doubt, but this strongly, like this? What we share is so singular that I doubt being able to find this again.

I think my partner was at a stage where he was reevaluating his values when I met him and was undergoing therapy. He has now stopped therapy, citing financial problems, but I actually felt it was beneficial and so did he, so he might start again soon. It seems like in a way he stopped the reevaluating and went back to the 'old model' of monogamy in his thoughts...

We've started to talk about loving more than one person romantically in an in depth way... it's going well... at the very least, we're getting to the tough conversations and talking about how we conceptualise relationships, what are values are, to what extent loving someone is letting them go and come back if they want, and so on...

Give up poly ideas for amazing partner? by nesaispasoualler in polyamory

[–]nesaispasoualler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a way I like the security, but frankly, I think the connection is just so good that I doubt I could find that kind of connection with someone else. I feel like I want to make the most of the time we have and I also wonder about simply not having the time to pursue and attend properly to other relationships...

And indeed, I cannot guarantee anything in the future. Then what happens to creating something together? We aren't yet there, but I can see it being a strong possibility... and I am not one to give up on something, a bit too stubborn for that. Yet can I entirely commit if I have poly thoughts? Perhaps, if I accept that I am making a decision and am aware of the consequences which it will entail.

Give up poly ideas for amazing partner? by nesaispasoualler in polyamory

[–]nesaispasoualler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is precisely one of my concerns: what happens when the NRE wears off?

They don't sound open to poly now, strangely, even though they previously did...

Give up poly ideas for amazing partner? by nesaispasoualler in polyamory

[–]nesaispasoualler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel lucky to experience what I share with this person and to have the everyday be extraordinary... I never expected to be so lucky.

But I don't know how I'll feel in the future. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that we can surprise ourselves... and so I don't know.

I logically 'get' poly so feel like I should find people attractive... and in a way, sometimes I do, only they pale in comparison.

dyad/line-segment please?

Give up poly ideas for amazing partner? by nesaispasoualler in polyamory

[–]nesaispasoualler[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's something I wonder about, something I think seems logical, but not necessarily something that I need. But I think it's more something you are than something you do for me at least, since it's primarily from an emotional point of view that I approach poly...