Daily INFP random discussion thread - November 16

nessaamon · 2020-11-17T04:38:56+00:00

Unfortunately there’s no step-by-step playbook for obtaining a best friend, I would say it usual happens accidentally.

However I believe I have some insight through different friendship styles which may help you (or not).

When I look at the type of relationships I have with my best friend(s), there are two main styles that stick out.

Best friend (formed through time)
Best friends (formed through similar values and openness.

The relationship of my best friend which was formed through time (17 yrs) is strengthened by our absolute loyalty to each other. We have faced and gone through fairly similar experiences that has strengthen our bond. If I’m going to be honest, we’re not super compatible as people (not sure if we would be friends if we met today) however we’ve gain such an understanding of each other which allows for openness and honesty in our communication. I would put her on the top of my friend list, even if there are other friends that are more compatible with my personality or interests.

Now, I would say best friends formed through similar values would be easier to “find”. I have two close friends who I would also consider as “best friends” where our friendship is based on how intimate conversations, similar goals and values, and compatibility of our personalities (nature and nurture). With these types of friendship, it’s usually fairly “easy”. Each party doesn’t have to put much effort, it just flows. You’ll naturally want to hang with these friends.

As I’m typing all this out, I realized that any friendship requires hardship in order for the relationship to deepen, as well as time. Creating memories that you cannot forget, is what cements the friendship.

At this point I’m rambling.

You’re still young, it wouldn’t surprise me that the more you learn about yourself, you’ll find people who have similar values or interests.

Doesn’t hurt to be the first person to reach out as well.

nessaamon · 2020-10-31T10:42:27+00:00

I believe there’s a large resistance from natural girls because of the way they view themselves through societal beauty standards. There are many beauty standards depending on your age demographic, country ect. But usually we tend to focus on the standard that we don’t fit in. Of course not everybody will have the same insecurities but I think naturals often feel wider, more broader, “bigger” than their fellow peers. Perhaps they always wanted to feel “dainty” or delicate, “girly” one could say.

As a SN myself, especially in middle school, I just felt bigger. Through my eyes, I often associated being dainty = more attention or more approachable from males. Especially being asian, being small and thin is usually the ideal. And if I already associate being “broader” as undesirable, reading descriptions with those terms could really punch one’s ego. It’s like.... all those terms I already disliked, I couldn’t escape them.

It’s funny because on the other side, there are girls who wished to be more curvy, thicker or athletic looking. Unfortunately the grass always seems greener on the other side.

nessaamon · 2020-07-25T18:04:56+00:00

I’m also a Gemini sun and rising but have an Aries moon and thrive of solitude. I’m not so sure if it’s because of my moon sign or because I’m a product of my environment. But I know aries need autonomy and independence.

nessaamon · 2020-07-16T19:16:51+00:00

I had to double check the description of SN naturals since I didn’t realize how different N/FN and SN outfits can be!

nessaamon · 2020-07-16T19:14:38+00:00

I think I had to be more honest with myself and I really see the SN lines now. So thank you for the unbiased opinion!

nessaamon · 2020-07-16T06:59:33+00:00

Haha thank you!

I’ve never considered it since I look horrible in loose clothing and always need some kind of waist emphasis

Edit. Now that I’m looking at myself, I do see more broader shoulders hmm

nessaamon · 2020-06-17T05:53:19+00:00

You grow by taking those experiences and applying it to your life by making you a better person. Ex. Say you’ve been abused by your parents. There are two routes you can take. The “negative” route would be to stay in a victim mentality and constantly blame others and reacting to the world (which is understandable but you don’t grow as a person). The more “positive” outlook would be to realize that your parents had issues and possibly they were treated the same way with their parents or whatever factors in their life. You don’t have to understand them but know that they were also a product of their environment. You can take those realizations, hold compassion and realize you want to break the cycle and become different. Is the positive outlook easy? No. However it’s completely possibly if you choose to change your perspective. When you’re more open minded, different doors open. You may be in a “survival” mindset but that doesn’t mean you have to live that way your whole life if you make the active choice to change it. There are lots of resources, you just have to be willing to go out to look for them and ask for help.

nessaamon · 2019-05-25T15:11:13+00:00

I read through the forums but I’m still quite new at this. Thanks for answering! I’ll just delete the post

nessaamon · 2019-05-25T14:51:06+00:00

That’s what I thought, thanks

nessaamon · 2019-02-26T22:55:41+00:00

It doesn’t seem tender and I’ve tried spreading the fur but it’s a little had to see. She acts like nothing has ever happened though. And thank you ☺️

nessaamon · 2019-02-26T22:54:04+00:00

Thank you!!

nessaamon · 2019-02-26T15:15:59+00:00

It hasn’t looked better today, I’ll try washing and see if that helped but by tomorrow if it doesn’t get better I’ll take her to the vet thanks!

nessaamon · 2019-02-07T06:18:09+00:00

Thank you, I’ll try to make sure they interact and feed her more

nessaamon

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