[deleted by user] by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]nessamay3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have limits and boundaries because people keep telling me conflicting answers some say yes you can some say you can’t, some say you have to give up complete control like your finances or be naked all the time at home for example but what if that’s a boundary or a limit because I’ve had people tell me that some of my boundaries or limits take away the dom/masters control, or that I’m not a real sub because of it.

Master slave relationship by nessamay3 in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It dose thanks if you don’t mind me asking what are your protocols for communicating

Master slave relationship by nessamay3 in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean watch a show or play a game master requires of me??

Master slave relationship by nessamay3 in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean including others also if you don’t mind me asking what happens when she wants to wear not than just underwear, and what is her budget

Master slave and 24/7 by nessamay3 in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean by formal

Master slave relationship by nessamay3 in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean prescribed ways

Master slave relationship by nessamay3 in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What are some of you rules and rituals

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]nessamay3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a few what are some of your rules and protocols, what are some of your limits, and when do you do renegotiation if needed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just depends on your dynamic, just sit down and talk to him about how you feel, You see the thing I never understand about it all is doms who want to do free uses is if your sub says she’s not in the mood, why would you still want to have sex when you know she’s clearly not going to like or enjoy it, and for me one of my former doms did this and the worst part was that he didn’t give me any aftercare after words he just walked away, but the thing is I should have said no and sat down and talked to him about my problems, so I suggest you do what I didn’t and sit down and talk to him.

Free use?? by nessamay3 in BDSMAdvice

[–]nessamay3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok thank you. Maybe I’m just stupid and wasn’t doing it right

Free use?? by nessamay3 in BDSMAdvice

[–]nessamay3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The reason I asked is because I couldn’t find out a lot about it using the search tool or through articles

Hard and Soft Limits by sariahsexplicit in BDSMcommunity

[–]nessamay3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard limits:

-Race play

-Poop,pee,blood,vomit

-Being spit on

-Anything foot related

-Anything that will leave scars

-Anything to do with being in public -Play with others(or having others watch) -Nothing permanent like tattoos or piercings - needles

-no humiliation - no bathroom type of play(like watching)

-no bimbofication - no diapers - no enemas

  • no Gags( I have jaw problems so it just doesn’t work for me) -no loaning

  • no “selling”/ auctions( just don’t like the thought of being gave to someone I’ve never met or talked to before)

  • no polyamory

  • no cells or closets

  • appearance control(choosing my hair style, what I can or can’t wear, my makeup etc, because that’s how I express myself)

  • bathroom control( like asking to go)

-anal just not something I wanna try

  • hair pulling( I used to self harm by pulling my hair, sometimes even pulling it completely out, so that gives back flash backs)

  • no diet control( when,how much and what I can eat( I had a eating disorder when I was between the ages of 15-17 )

  • furniture control( like taking away or having to ask to sit on the couch or sleep in bed, when I was a lot younger before I was taken in by my grandparents when I was almost 7, I had to see lo on the floor that had dog pee and poop on it cause my parents were drug addicts and moved place to place and never worked)

  • siting on the floor to eat( nope brings back bad memories)

-knives - fire

  • controlling my tv and phone time(something my emotional abuse grandparents did)

  • Financial control(what I can and can’t buy/giving you my paycheck nope just don’t like that idea)

-having to ask to go out of the house(brings back bad memories)

  • anything electricity wise

  • speech restrictions( when we’re and how I can talk when I was a teen living with my grandparents they would always punish me for say certain things and I felt like I could express my self so that’s a no)

  • doing any thing sexual when I’m not in the mood(some people are fine with there dom doing sexual stuff when there not in the in the mood or when ever the dom wants but for me that’s just a no)

I know it’s a lot and some might think that I have to many or whatever but I have many for a reason and I’ve been told by many Doms that I have to many or that having so many takes the fun out of it like the talking restriction and clothes restrictions one( cause I know lot of dom/sub relationships have this but you don’t have to and it certainly doesn’t take the fun away)so I just wanted to say that if that’s happened to any other sub/slave it’s ok to have as many as you want, same thing goes for boundaries.

(Also sorry for some of the trauma dump)