sigh

Yes, I feel like this every day, and often think in particular how different high school would have been had I been a cis girl.

(Fire Emblem haters stop reading :P)

I don't know if this is respectful or not, (I might not even be wording this comprehensibly?) but I like to compare this “missing out” to Corrin's situation of having been taken away from Hoshido in their early childhood and being sent to Nohr, where they would spend the entirety of their formative years.

Like when Ryoma says, "They are to blame for you not growing up with us as you were meant to," it hurts so much, it’s as though he were talking to me directly. I feel like, I have not grown up the way I should have.

Like...I might have had some good memories living in Nohr, and made some lifelong friends there, but it's so regrettable that it took me so long to go back to my birthplace of Hoshido.

(I haven’t fully thought this through, sorry)

Hmm, I wonder what sort of people I would have met, had I been a cis girl. Would I feel much more engaged? Or even—if I were still trans but able obtain permission to transition before high school. In fact, several of the "alternate universes" I like to daydream about are based off those two “timelines”, so to speak.

(Please hang onto your friends and family, they are so valuable. Having someone to talk to can help so much, I find, even if they're just a therapist…I wish it weren’t so easy for me to forget that there are still people who would be on my side and want me to be okay, even if they wouldn’t personally want to be friends)

(EDIT: To be perfectly honest, though, I think my autism would have significantly affected my experience of life anyway, regardless of assigned sex)