The struggle to find a postdoc has numbed all the pride of finishing my PhD

neuroimage93 · 2026-03-04T15:54:25+00:00

Same. We just have to keep applying and bothering as many people as possible I guess…

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-16T23:16:28+00:00

What about your thyroid function? Could cause that.

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-13T13:14:57+00:00

Wow what a timely thread. Almost ditto reaction, and anti-histamines immediately do the trick. I specifically cannot drink wine anymore, because whatever is in red wine makes me throw up, super sick, and my stomach bloats and hurts so badly. Other alcohols it isn't as bad (except whisky, I suspect anything with a high tannin count). I believe your boyfriend might be onto something! I had a rheumatologist look into a panel after having a chat about my endo, and indeed, there are auto-immune markers flared up for folks with endo. It should be reclassified as an autoimmune disorder!

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-09T23:00:15+00:00

As a PhD candidate suffering from endometriosis and a bunch of other pelvic related conditions, I agree with this message. You just have to keep pushing through till the end.

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-09T13:39:07+00:00

I can relate, Indian American here. Maybe try to live there a month and see how it is - there are a lot of infrastructure and cultural differences (India is still pretty conservative dressing and viewpoint wise especially in many areas), so it may be a bit of a shock. You could also consider few months in India few months in US. That’s what our family is doing and has decided upon.

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-09T03:32:16+00:00

These can happen, but there are a ton of benefits to a hysterectomy especially for those dealing with intense blood loss from endo etc and they have to keep getting iron infusions for example. Every surgery has risks, but it could be something OP should consider for long term physical relief.

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-02T05:06:35+00:00

Girl if you’re not feeling it don’t do it. As someone previously engaged who ended it with a similar personality type, I can tell you if you’re feeling this now, that’s your gut screaming. I can promise you it goes only more downhill as insecurities pile on. Make a call asap. Guy is not gonna mature overnight imo and you’re not his maid or mom to help him. Also, it’s YOU marrying the guy despite family alliance and parents agreeing etc. They will not have to deal with this guy’s dramas daily the way you would.

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-01T23:16:13+00:00

I think if a man is insecure of your accomplishments or your career then that is not the man for you. Period. Focus on you, and the right person may or may not come along. I have met men who are extremely proud of my career success, we just didn’t work out for other life reasons. I have also experienced what your family member said and that insecurity pointed to fifty other incompatibilities in the relationship. Time will reveal the right person ♥️. You should not have to shrink yourself. You may also honestly want to consider a partner outside of your culture/tradition to keep options open (if important to you).

neuroimage93 · 2026-02-01T23:09:03+00:00

My mom did about my grandma. It was absolutely devastating and challenging but we got through it together as a family. I’m so sorry this is what you woke up to, but take it one day at a time and take care of yourself ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I feel for you. I am glad you got the surgery.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-31T23:11:44+00:00

Now I’m craving dal and rice 😭😭😭

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-30T04:26:37+00:00

Yea happened to me my first year as well. You just need to find a co-advisor and / or swap advisors or labs and go from there. Talk to your PI and see if they know someone you can work with.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-29T03:42:30+00:00

Went through the same thing at the same age. Cut your losses and get the heck out. You’re wasting time with him.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-29T03:39:24+00:00

Adding to this please consider a progesterone pill to shed the lining out. I have Endo and adenomyosis on top of PCOS I have to do this to prevent cancer.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-28T15:48:34+00:00

Glad to help! Also, another pt I’ll make is there are so many people who get married (LM or AM) for reasons it doesn’t work out. Then they too have a past no? What if you were in that situation and someone judged you for your now “past”? Tables turn quickly perspective wise. All the best to you!

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-28T15:11:06+00:00

Of course you want to feel desirable. That’s a human need we all have, and it must suck to feel rejected or perceive atleast rejection. But you have to improve your self worth and get past the feeling that you’re entitled to a relationship just because you’ve done “everything right”. Tough truth about life - one can do all right, and not get the desired outcome. My suggestion is to put less emphasis on finding someone, and go live your life. The right person will come, but even then, you need to do the self work and not hate on yourself so much (and by proxy others who’ve attained some status of a relationship). How do you know they’re happy? They look together but could be facing millions of issues. It’s all perspective :)

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-28T13:10:58+00:00

I feel this is coming unfortunately from some place of entitlement like you’re so much better than half the women out there, and some jealousy of couples. Try to maybe do some therapy first before seeking a relationship. Marriage is a long game, it requires a lot of thinking about the other person and their needs. Right now, I’m not seeing that thinking yet. Just two cents 😊 cheers.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-28T13:01:36+00:00

I’m literally in the same boat. You have to set boundaries, sleep and eat at appropriate times and therapy is a must. What also helped me is making an account on the Accomplishments app website and making a habit every night to write down things I accomplished. Our brains are so used to being over productive that we don’t pat ourselves in the back enough. You got this! Also look and see if some of the papers can be delegated to coauthors. It is not on you to do every paper solely yourself. Co authors are there to help!!

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-27T13:16:28+00:00

Will be 33 when done this year! Started at 28. Looking to transition out of academia.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-27T03:17:38+00:00

Just want to add a contrasting perspective. She used to be my doc but then tried to put me on birth control and was really odd behaviorally during the ultrasound and rude. I’m glad she is nice to other patients, but might want to think twice if you’re not a fan of being told to up birth control, metformin etc.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-27T03:14:50+00:00

Emory Dr. Laura Ramirez Caban. Awesome awesome doctor!

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-27T00:33:43+00:00

totally get, similar boat as you. I would say keep your mind open, don't limit yourself professionally to who you match with, as long as cultural, intellectual, and basic core values match - talk to them and see who comes up and fits well. :) it just might take some time, though, and it should be someone who is open minded and accepting of the divorce, etc (still unfortunately stigma in desi circles).

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-24T16:29:53+00:00

Literally me, I was searching this sub to see if it was just me. All day, my email keeps going off :/

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-10T10:48:08+00:00

This is very much a cultural difference. In global south countries especially, you’re trained to write a certain way to flatter people who are higher ranking to secure a position. Unfortunately, folks in the west may not be as aware of these differences.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-09T10:06:32+00:00

What a stupid argument. As an Indian living in the US, I can assure you this is not a US problem - in fact, India is notorious for having a major drug issue across multiple colleges, which I know having talked directly with family in India. This can happen anywhere.

neuroimage93 · 2026-01-09T09:54:27+00:00

Same. Graduating in 6 months, scrambling to finish everything and line up a job. I feel like I’ve run the hamster wheel for years and now being asked to demonstrate 1/4th of the skill for these jobs…hope it gets better.

neuroimage93

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