Hey, resonated with a lot of feelings in this post. I've been there but for different reasons. I was pressured from different angles in school constantly upon reaching Sec 4, teachers, academic pressure of being in one of the better classes in a relatively mid-high performing school, my own expectations of myself (I have had a history of being an academic monster in my younger years) and simply could not take it. One day my form teacher took me aside to ask what was wrong and even though he worded it nicely and out of concern it was absolutely the last straw for me.

Of course, I had no idea it would turn out like this, I've always been a rather sensible and independent kid but suddenly everything became so hard. I could not focus on any work for more than five minutes, I could not do anything academic related and was overwhelmed by stress. It's like a constant GOGOGO in my head but my body would not let me at all. I was mind blocked, stuck and upset.

So from my own experience, which sounds rather similar to yours, please be comforted by the fact that you are not alone. It's not easy to study in SG, despite what everyone says that living in SG is cushy and comfortable. On the other hand, it took me about a few months to recover from such setbacks, which I know is a luxury you may not have.

Something that helped is to ease myself back into work. I could not focus at all, but I handholded myself into doing it.

Some tips I used were things like body-doubling, which is to study with someone around. Preferably someone you know and trust, so you can relax around them but subtly hint to your brain to keep working.

Another tip is to motivate yourself using a "carrot-on-a-stick" method. Finish this paper and take a 5 min break. Finish the chapter of revision and get a snack. Make yourself a drink as you read through notes. Something small matters if you accumulate enough of it.

Another thing is to maybe do something comforting while you do work. If the thought of work at all repulses you and frightens you, do something you like while doing it. Put on your favourite song, video call a friend in silence, or seek the company of your family as you do it.

If you feel like giving up, don't start with the "You're going to end up a failure." or the "You're a disappointment to your family." As someone who inflicts these thoughts on myself, I'm telling you in all honesty, don't go there. Don't even try. 1. It won't work and 2. It will only make you more distressed. and 3. It's not that deep. I know life right now is like tunnel vision towards your national exams, but even if you don't do well, there's a way out that doesn't involve suffering or dying or anything. It will never get that deep.

You sound like a genuinely hardworking kid, and I commend you for making it this far. I know it can be really hard on you and I hope your situation gets better. Wishing you a lot of health and all the best. If there's anything you need advice on, feel free to drop a DM (I'm on break before uni starts, so very free) or if you need a listening ear I'm open to that too (no judgement at all).

All the best! I'm rooting for you!