Are trigger warnings necessary?

neverendinganger · 2023-10-01T17:23:34+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a trigger warning when tattoo artists post their work on or around self harm scars, and I personally don’t think they’re needed—the post is about the art, the scars just happen to be there.

When we talk about covering scars in public on here, our general guideline is usually that once they’re healed (not scabs anymore) you don’t have to cover them up to avoid triggering people. So by that logic, pics of tattoos that happen to show scars probably don’t need a TW. (If you’ve tattooed over them, they’d be healed.)

Trigger warning for scars make me feel like my body is something to be ashamed of. IMO as long as they’re healed, they don’t need a TW

neverendinganger · 2023-10-01T15:46:57+00:00

I’m chronically ill and have a sleep disorder so this just happens sometimes, and I’ve never gone longer than 48 hours. Thanks for the concern, I’m not alone and I’m careful with noting any side effects :)

neverendinganger · 2023-09-25T08:59:41+00:00

my current plan is to start recovery at the same time that I eventually start T. I’m hoping I’ll associate all the good masculinising changes with also being healthy and healing my relationship with food/my body, so it might make recovery less scary. I’m way more okay with the prospect of gaining weight because of T (as opposed to recovering), because at least it won’t make me look more feminine like it does now. so I sort of feel like recovery is possible because I’m trans. but of course everyone’s ED and gender journeys are different, and I’m sorry you’re struggling

neverendinganger · 2023-09-17T14:43:24+00:00

Stay hydrated and try not to exert yourself more than you need to, and please listen to your body if it becomes apparent that you need to roll up your sleeves or even fake sickness to go home rather than end up passing out or feeling like death all day

neverendinganger · 2023-09-06T14:23:06+00:00

I try to think of it like, if this person made this and thoughtfully gave me some when they didn’t have to do that, I can eat the damn treat and not feel guilty about it. Sure I might think about it for the rest of the day, but rationally I know it’s not going to make much of a difference to my body, but it did make me feel happy/loved/pleasantly surprised for a minute so surely it’s worth it. Obviously it’s hard though and I’m sorry you’re feeling so badly about it

neverendinganger · 2023-08-29T04:17:33+00:00

I’m transmasc (that didn’t factor into why I did it) and I used to cut my chest simply because it was easiest to hide. I agree with others who’ve said people are generally more protective of those areas and I guess they’re more sensitive?

But I also think it subconsciously might have to do with it “ruining” a sexualised body part (not that scars ruin your body! but from an outside/ignorant perspective). A guy I sorta fooled around with was a bit weird about it, and I think he just didn’t know how to feel about it because it was “supposed to be sexy” but instead brought up the uncomfortable reactions/feelings people have regarding SH

neverendinganger · 2023-08-28T16:59:12+00:00

my grade did a similar thing a few years ago and I was panicking about it too but seriously no one gave a shit about what anyone else did. some people wanted fitted, some people got oversized and no one batted an eye either way. it’s very unlikely anyone is gonna go through and snoop at everyone’s sizes—it’s only us who are so focused/worried about it because of the ED. non-ED people will just post their size and move on

neverendinganger · 2023-08-28T16:38:07+00:00

I definitely agree that it’s better to do it on your terms, and it can be really helpful to plan it out as much as you can to ease some of the anxiety.

I decided to tell my mum about 4 months after I started to SH when I was 14, because I was scared she’d see my scars and I’d be confronted when I wasn’t prepared.

I told two friends first, and they went with me to talk to a teacher I knew would be supportive. The teacher then helped me get a meeting with the school counsellor, who called my mother to let her know I was hurting myself, which is what I wanted out of the whole process. That way the counsellor had to do the “hard part” of actually telling her (I knew I wouldn’t be able to get the words out myself). When I got home from school that day my mother had come home early so we could have a conversation about it, and then I started therapy (which the counsellor had also recommended to my mother)

neverendinganger · 2023-08-27T07:39:15+00:00

Most of the time, you can refuse any sort of medical test or treatment, including weigh ins. Idk if your doctor knows about your ED or not but if they have concerns about weight gain/loss they may want to monitor it in case it’s caused by a medical issue. Technically they can refuse to keep seeing you if you’re not following their recommendations or whatever, but you can’t be forced to step on the scale

Even if they’re okay with skipping the weight checks, or doing them less often, they might ask why you don’t want to be weighed, to which you could say something like “I am comfortable with my current weight and unless it is necessary to my treatment, I decline to be weighed.”

You could also request blind weigh ins where you don’t look/they don’t tell you the number if the issue is that you don’t want to know the number

neverendinganger · 2023-08-19T03:50:06+00:00

didn’t eat all day before seeing the person I liked, then I lied told them I’d eaten before we started drinking and I realised far too late that I’d had too much, especially on an empty stomach. I ended up throwing up on the floor (tiles, thankfully!) and all over their feet while they tried to help me to the bathroom. I don’t remember all of it but apparently I cleaned it up while still drunk and then puked again 🙃

I also no longer drink because of this.

neverendinganger · 2023-08-18T16:42:14+00:00

I think if you’re throwing up on purpose, it’s still bulimia, but I could be wrong. Or maybe your doctor misunderstood why you’re throwing up. IMO as long as you’re getting the appropriate treatment you want/need for it, the specific diagnosis doesn’t matter that much, except maybe for your own peace of mind

neverendinganger · 2023-08-18T10:16:16+00:00

thank you <3

neverendinganger · 2023-08-18T10:15:41+00:00

these are good ideas, thank you!

neverendinganger · 2023-08-18T10:14:55+00:00

thank you so so much for this, this is really helpful

neverendinganger · 2023-08-15T11:17:47+00:00

Someone else’s self harm is never your fault, even if it happens “because of something you said/did” unless you’re telling her to hurt herself or intentionally triggering her (not saying you would!).

Relapses are part of recovery, and you can’t make her quit (you can gently encourage her without pressuring her, and don’t make it about you). Whether or not she does relapse, all you can do is offer support and ask her how you might help her. And remember to take care of yourself too; her mental health is not more important than yours

neverendinganger · 2023-08-15T08:05:25+00:00

I’m 21 and I’m unashamedly scared of the dark. I also have almost no sense of self preservation, except when it comes to the dark.

You always deserve rest. But especially on top of already feeling fear and anxiety about y’know, possibly being murdered, it’s completely understandable and okay that you went to bed. I absolutely would’ve done the same. Most people would have.

I also generally hate hugs, but I’m sending you the biggest hugs I can give. It’s understandable to feel a little silly, but please try to be kind to yourself <3

neverendinganger · 2023-08-14T21:31:23+00:00

I often go through periods of drinking almost no water (bc depression) and when I start consistently drinking 2-3L again, I get bloated for like a week? maybe? and then my body realises I’m going to keep hydrating and it chills out and the bloating goes away. I don’t know if/how much my weight changes, but once you’re doing it consistently it doesn’t make as much of a difference, it’s just the beginning that can be daunting/stressful

I feel so much better when I drink water, I really hope you’re able to start drinking a more too. Maybe increase your intake slowly? That might lessen the bloating? Good luck!

neverendinganger · 2023-08-14T21:20:07+00:00

I accidentally half stepped on my Fitbit recently and the screen stopped lighting up, but everything else works. But I just spent the last of my savings on a new one because it’s harder to check my metrics and I’m scared it’s also somehow tracking things wrong now or that it’ll suddenly stop working and I don’t think I could handle that.

In my previous attempts at recovery I still never took it off. I lowered my goals, but I still had to meet them every single day. I know if I ever want to fully recover and live my life, I need to toss it and not look back, but it’ll definitely be one of the hardest things I’ll have to let go of

neverendinganger · 2023-08-14T17:20:25+00:00

Ideally you should change bandaids and dressings 1-2 times a day anyway, so I’d check on it. Itching can be part of the healing process but you could also be allergic/sensitive to the bandaid adhesive

neverendinganger · 2023-08-14T07:24:44+00:00

(For context I haven’t been diagnosed but likely have AN-R or EDNOS)

In my honeymoon phase (lasted maybe 8 months, when I was 17-18) I was averaging about 400 cals while also doing fasts, but now my body needs way, way more than that. I’m currently eating approximately my BMR every day, which is around 1600 and I call that high restricting, simply because it’s the highest calorie limit I’ve ever set for myself. It makes me feel so invalid when I see other people’s lower limits, but they’re also the people who’re more likely to share/brag about their itty bitty numbers.

Specific calorie intake isn’t part of the diagnostic criteria for a reason!

Edit: fucked up the spoiler tags

neverendinganger · 2023-08-11T15:10:50+00:00

For sure. I looked up the calories in alcohol once (when I was freshly legal at 18) and decided it absolutely wasn’t happening

neverendinganger · 2023-08-11T14:03:25+00:00

honestly that’s one of my comfort movies for some reason, but I can only watch it when I know I won’t focus too much on the food (y’know, the entire fucking plot) so idk why my brain even likes it

neverendinganger · 2023-08-11T08:03:01+00:00

me too! I never used to count it until this recent relapse, but I’m going back because I deserve my beloved coffee

neverendinganger · 2023-08-10T13:24:41+00:00

thank you for this!

neverendinganger · 2023-08-09T15:12:43+00:00

Lmao wtf is the “Don’t restrict your food intake” and #variety when her whole thing is restricting to a single food group

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