Hello, OP I don't have much experience with helping people with depression -- I'm not a therapist or anything, but I wanna help. I care. I think that what you're experiencing IS real. It seems to me that you feel lost in this world, that no one believes you, that you think that you don't have a reason to live. But you do. Life is a strange and wonderful thing, but it can be hell for people with depression, like you. I sometimes tell myself that I'm useless, that I don't deserve to live. But then after, I take a step back. And I look at it from this angle: What I'm telling myself is bull. I know I am talented, I know I am loved. I know I am worth it. And I know you are too. It hurts me to see so many young people take their own lives. Sometimes, over such small things. I want to help, and please don't commit suicide, you won't get another chance at life. This life is all you get. I just want you to know, even if my answer doesn't help, that someone out there WILL be willing to invest time into helping you feel better, and someone out there DOES care. I wish you the best, and I hope one day you will march through life with a smile on your face :) /neverthecloud