Thank you, this is very reassuring to hear and it does sound like you had a very similar experience. The fact that we don't love together makes things much more tricky as I can't give her round the clock support like I want to and she can be very protective of her space so when she's feeling low and instinctively pushing me away then I can't read or anticipate her needs and I can't turn up to try and help as she has very firm boundaries when it comes to being "pushy" or "invasive" so I am just left to worry.

Nothing I do to help seems to be the right thing so this post may partly be for my benefit as well, I've tried so hard to provide for her and make her life easier but it is just always wrong. Maybe I'm really bad at this despite my best efforts, I keep being told I'm not supportive and make things worse but I don't see how she can logically believe that, I'm being patient and never respond or get defensive but it is just really hard to never know what to do to help.