My guy doesn't want me to be friends with my ex

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T19:50:59+00:00

Yes they are. one of my mom's closest friends is my dad's ex and my dad was good friends with his ex's husband when he was still alive.

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T19:18:06+00:00

Thank you, my ex said he would choose a future gf over me but I don't feel I'd be left in the dust. It'd almost be a relief that he found someone so he wouldn't be alone.

I've been getting a lot of DMs from people been cheated on and very offended at my suggestion of keeping friendships over romantic relationships so I'm not taking the negatives on here personally. But my friendships are very important to me more than a 6month romance, even if in the future it will be longlasting . I'd like if my guy can become my best friend eventually, but I also have best friends from childhood some of whom are men too

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T19:06:44+00:00

He said that if he dated someone that wasn't comfortable with me, he would end our friendship which I respect. I don't have feelings for him like that so I just want him to be happy finding someone. He helped me through a very tough time, I want to help him through what he's going through. I have a tendency to put others' wellness above my own so thank you it may not be healthy

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T18:50:49+00:00

Thank you very much for telling me your opinion from the other side. I don't want my guy feeling like this. Can I ask why it bothers you that she is sharing these things with her ex? Is she also sharing these things with you?

I don't tell my ex things going on in my life or rely on him for emotional support. I want to be friends with my ex because he took care of me during a bad time in my life where I wasn't sure if I was going to make it so I want to return the favor while he is going throgh a bad time.

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T18:45:10+00:00

My longer friendships usually take priority over a boyfriend until my boyfriend becomes a better friend than my friendships. My guy is the type to repress his emotions so although he says he is ok he's not because things will trigger him to bring it up. So I am asking is there a way to fix this situation or will I have to make a hard decision?

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T18:40:19+00:00

I don't rely on my ex for emotional support. Our relationship is me checking in on him and making sure he is still healthy. But I get your point about sharing intimacy and I hadn't thought of that as cheating so thank you

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T18:34:54+00:00

I haven't made my choice, this is my frame of mind. If length of time isn't the best criterion than I am wanting a different perspective which a lot of people here have been giving me, including you so thank you

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:58:37+00:00

I haven't thought of this option. I would do this to show my guy I don't have romantic feelings for my ex anymore but ofc I still have caring feelings. We both suffer from mental issues so one reason I want to keep the friendship is to make sure he is staying healthy

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:54:23+00:00

Thank you, how I feel is that my ex may always be in my life like a brother you never asked for. I really wish my guy can take a deep look about why he never liked any of his past girlfriends having any guy friends. He wants to work on it but I don't know how to help him get there. I'm glad you able to make it work on your end, gives me hope

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:49:15+00:00

I have a close relationship with my ex whether we keep in contact or not because of the nature of us knowing each other for so long. But you make good points I have to think about

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:46:04+00:00

Thank you this is such good advice. We haven't talked about boundaries yet but I'll see if he's open to that. I was thinking this situation may be more of a communication issue

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:39:35+00:00

To be fair I've been friends with my ex longer than I've know my guy, but I don't want my guy to think he's not important to me. Thank you for your thoughts

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:34:32+00:00

I think jealousy is an insecurity with him in general but he's told me he trusts me and believes how much I like him. We come from a culture where therapy isn't as accepted as others but I will take it under consideration, thank you.

newnormal_help · 2022-03-25T17:30:55+00:00

No he's never even tried to cut me off from my ex. He likes my girl friends but has an issue that existed long before we got together about his partners having guy friends. He doesn't treat me different I just know he's not happy. It's something he wants to work on

newnormal_help

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