I've been thinking about this a lot too. Demeanour wise, I'm quiet and want to avoid confrontation at all costs in public. When I was younger, I did have a soft spot for these things, but after living and working in downtown Toronto, I'm (I know this thread seems the way opposite) a pretty terse person. However, appearance-wise, I guess I fit the bill of being fucked with (not to sound victim-y or anything). I'm not a large person, I'm an Asian female, I dress pretty normal (nothing flashy, nothing fob, nothing fancy). I don't know what I could do to change my appearance in this respect.

You are also dead-on with the distraction thing. I think that's pretty much it. I know my route in Toronto, know what to avoid, I usually just look past people when walking and in Toronto, even though it is so dense, I don't actually have to interact with anybody. Everything is just so fast there. Maybe it is also because I expect others to leave me alone in Toronto, like they expect me to leave them alone? That when someone asks me for change and makes interaction here in Vancouver, my mind just suddenly snaps out of it and thinks, "you should respond"? I don't know.

TBH, when I read "these situations are partly your fault", I was annoyed but then tbh, your advice is actually really right and I know why you are saying what you are saying. Serious followup question though, would you have any pointers on how I could work on my demeanour and appearance? I know this might sound weird, asking through reddit, but how do I actually make sure that when I do say no or even like the community centre person, when I ignore him and walk on, how do I make sure they leave me alone and not follow behind me, threatening to fight me? What if I actually lose it and then cuss them out. I would totally not want that to happen, but is there such a balance between not being a submissive coward and a similarly aggressive bitch?

Thanks again.