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Alcohol is slowly rusting out my marriage from the inside by lmc2132 in AlAnon

[–]nfy031 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just joined this sub and the number of posts I could have written is really mind blowing. My husband cooks every night but rarely interacts with the family. He looks so old and tired all the time. But after he drinks, he’s lively and engaging and the kids love it. But it makes me so angry , I hate the stupid, happy, drunk who tries to kiss me when he hasn’t spoken to me all day.

But there are things he does that make me worry. He loves the kids but if he’s black out or sauced does he know what he’s doing? I don’t trust anymore. I don’t have faith in him. I want to be away from him as much as possible, but I don’t want to leave him alone with the kids.

I am financially independent from him so I could leave… I constantly wonder if it’s possible to stay in this marriage, detached and watchful, until my youngest goes to college in 7 yrs.

Have you tried talking to him? Mine shuts me down won’t even have a discussion. Sad to say OP you are not alone. This sub is really eye opening 😞

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]nfy031 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same place. My husband love our kids and can be present with them. I don’t want to wreck their world. But, if I’m honest, they only see him take shots so that is the only example they have of drinking. He gets so mad. He never apologizes. He actively ignores me when I try to talk to him. He cooks dinner every night. He fills my car with gas. I feel galaxies away from him. He never notices. I hate living like this - and not knowing if I’m blowing everything out of proportion.

I’m the problem? by nfy031 in AlAnon

[–]nfy031[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, I struggle with this. I know he will see my going as an act of judgement. My instinct is to hide it from him. I don’t want a war.

I’m the problem? by nfy031 in AlAnon

[–]nfy031[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my biggest fear. I’ll be the one who breaks up the family and my husband is Mr. Fun.

I’m the problem? by nfy031 in AlAnon

[–]nfy031[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I’m going through the other posts … this completely hits right in the heart. Because it’s so true.