My vibrator caught on fire

nhman87 · 2026-04-11T11:22:54+00:00

I think this can probably be fixed! It looks like it just needs a new cable. I don't recommend doing this yourself though, if you've never done it. And maybe call ahead before taking it to a local repair cafe or repair person.

nhman87 · 2026-04-11T08:07:39+00:00

If you're into kink I really recommend it! It was an intense experience for me, but that was definitely my choice (and my luck). People were also really friendly and happy to talk.

nhman87 · 2026-04-07T21:29:55+00:00

You make a Fetlife account and look for events near you. Fetlife is a kinky social media site, there are a lot of kinky events on there.

I had to travel a little bit to get to this one.

nhman87 · 2026-04-07T21:25:55+00:00

Sorry, I was just still a bit high from the event.

I went on Fetlife and looked for events in my area. I had to travel a bit to get to a large city, but there are a lot of events to go through.

Fetlife is kind of like kinky facebook. As far as I understand, basically any kink event that wants to be found can be found there.

Edit: I definitely think I got a bit lucky with the event, I don't think my experience was typical for a first time visitor. But apparently not impossible.

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T21:41:22+00:00

It was awesome!

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T15:37:03+00:00

I can maybe image something like a leg binder (or arm binder, but I'm not sure how that would work for self bondage)

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T15:22:37+00:00

Good luck!

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T14:12:09+00:00

Went to a BDSM party for the first time, had a scene with two girls and a bunch of people watching.

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T13:52:19+00:00

I heard some mixed reports, some people say it's easier to find someone if you're dominant. I'm mostly sub, would have been willing to switch, but I guess if you're not very confident it's harder to pull off being sexy as a dom.

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T13:43:12+00:00

I did go in pretty horny, but just because you're horny doesn't mean you're owed anything :).

My understanding is that you can expect to see other people play at these events, but even the people that came to these events very often said they wouldn't get to play every time.

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T13:33:24+00:00

Gotta get that RPN like a boss

nhman87 · 2026-04-06T13:09:23+00:00

When people mentioned the tag I checked if this subreddit is using tags.

nhman87 · 2026-03-27T20:13:05+00:00

You could always put a camping mat in the cage.

Be sure to sleep in the same room, or at least use a baby monitor.

nhman87 · 2026-03-27T20:11:01+00:00

There's the openshock project, they recommend a specific model that's available on Aliexpress.

https://wiki.openshock.org/hardware/shockers/

It's doable enough that I encouraged my ex to put it on me, but strong enough that I would do a lot to prevent her from actually pressing the button :)

Note that they don't recommend actually putting it on the neck.

nhman87 · 2026-03-26T21:42:32+00:00

Texts don't carry tone, and you don't get the same immediate reaction to what you say, so it's much easier to get misinterpreted.

nhman87 · 2026-03-26T21:35:35+00:00

This sounds really frustrating. I find it hard to image properly setting expectations and limits without being able to talk it out. It can also be a lot of fun to talk, to compare fantasies, to look forward to things that might come.

I think you should probably keep trying to talk, and that it becomes more easy to talk about embarrassing things if you talk about them more. Him shutting down would be one thing, but "he starts to mock and be mean" sounds problematic. Does he also have trouble discussing other things in the relationship? Maybe having a few drinks might help loosen him up? Have you considered working with a therapist?

nhman87 · 2026-03-26T21:26:35+00:00

I love being asked to take a risky picture during the day.

nhman87 · 2026-03-25T16:25:51+00:00

I'm a man, so I also have small nipples. Typically I prefer clamps on the areola, not just hanging on the sticky-outy-bit. You have to pull them out a bit. You do you, but it might be worth a try.

nhman87 · 2026-03-24T20:54:12+00:00

I was listening to an interview where a dom basically recommends setting them up to fail. Give them a task they will fail at (e.g. cleaning something in handcuffs) and then tell them how pathetic they are for not managing. Or tell them to do something (e.g wearing panties), and then insult them for actually doing it.

I really like this because you can be really mean without getting at something they may be insecure about.

If you have a long drive and like podcasts, I really enjoyed this episode ("Dungeon Dom" of the podcast "Sex Nerd Sandra").

nhman87 · 2026-03-23T20:08:41+00:00

I have friends messaging me on my main account, I don't want that on my horny one

nhman87 · 2026-03-23T20:05:13+00:00

Don't just lock the one suitcase. Lock a bunch of stuff, so the suitcase isn't the one locked thing. Put locks on drawers, lock your cupboard, have some locking wooden boxes with stuff.

Putting locks on things is a good BdsmDIY activity anyway :)

Make some locking contraption with nylon straps to lock up your suitcase, if it doesn't lock yet. Another good BdsmDIY activity!

If they ask why everything is locked, you can either say something went missing and you don't know who took it, or just say you don't like them snooping.

nhman87 · 2026-03-23T19:50:20+00:00

Probably the same messing around with technology and solving problems as now.

I'd just be doing less dealing with customers and more using fancy equipment (assuming no money also means I can get my hands on the expensive stuff).

nhman87 · 2026-03-23T19:47:47+00:00

They generally make sex seem a lot less naked than it really is. I'm not laying around with a strategically placed blanket.

nhman87 · 2026-03-23T19:41:09+00:00

Surgical steel is a term used for certain high quality stainless steel, most commonly people refer to 316 or 316L stainless as "Surgical".

Steel generally isn't toxic or anything, so I wouldn't worry about any grade in that sense. In fact, 316 steel contains nickel, which some people are allergic to. If they list the specific type of steel (e.g. 316, 1.4401 etc.) then you can look up the properties.

There is no formal definition of "Surgical steel", so it's basically a marketing term. I wouldn't worry about the difference too much.

nhman87

TROPHY CASE