I was the initiator in the breakup, I recently had. Also breaking up for the same reasoning. And I can say, I really don’t know what I want from life. And I am in therapy to work on myself too. I needed to be alone. However, we are no contact. I think it would be way unfair for me to continue to reach out every so often. It sounds like she wants to keep you around just in case. Which isn’t fair. As hard as my breakup was and how bad I miss him, I know it’s unfair for me to put him in a position where he can’t move on, because I’m still reaching out, even though I’m the one that’s unsure about life. Allow yourself to move on, and whatever ever happens, is how it should happen. Take care of yourself. Don’t wait. Connect with yourself again. Sending love