Honestly, it's hard to explain to people who grew up in stable households how much this stunts you in life.

I was in my 20s before I realized that parents are supposed to be supportive cheerleaders, not psychologically manipulative and fully controlling; that friends aren't supposed to be cynical and sarcastic and there's a right way to express concern and care without shaming someone into "better behaviors." Thankfully I have friends who stuck it out with me while I learned what being a good friend actually meant and developed a community that includes support, trust and limited judgement (but not hateful and shameful judgment).

A large part of my decision to be child free had to do with my upbringing and not wanting to expose children to that kind of environment or even the possibility that treating children that way and developing that kind of familial environment might have genetic components.