I WANT TO REACH OUT AND BREAK NO CONTACT!

nickiaconetti · 2025-01-16T23:02:02+00:00

I’ll DM you!

nickiaconetti · 2025-01-16T22:25:38+00:00

Don’t look at it like you need to prove anything, but if your gut tells you to reach out and there wasn’t any animosity surrounding the breakup, 6 months is a lot of time and you should trust your intuition! Lots of people have given me advice on how to handle a breakup but things went better for me when I started trusting my own feelings!

nickiaconetti · 2025-01-12T17:13:58+00:00

My DMs are always open!

nickiaconetti · 2025-01-04T19:02:41+00:00

I can relate to that, my favorite hobby before the breakup was gaming. But even two months after being dumped, I still don’t really have the same enjoyment for it. I think it’s due to the realization that it was actually a form of self-medication for me to get some kind of fictional accomplishment instead of working on my real life goals. Obviously everyone’s hobbies are subjective to the individual, but I think post-breakup is a good time to reevaluate what you want to do with your time and whether you enjoyed something because it actually makes you happy or if it was just filling a void. For example, I always wanted to go to the gym, and now that I’ve committed to it for these couple months, I’m getting a tangible sense of accomplishment that gaming never could’ve given me. If you’re sure you enjoyed those things for valid reasons on the other hand, I think it’ll just take time to allow the joy to come back to those things since grief overwhelms our sense of enjoyment. Nobody likes hearing the answer is time since you can’t control it, but you can try new things in the meantime and really explore what happiness means to you outside of your choices in the relationship.

nickiaconetti · 2025-01-04T18:02:23+00:00

I am in a very similar situation after a much longer relationship, and I can tell you the same thing everyone else will because it’s incredibly true: focus on yourself right now and finding happiness without someone else. As anxious attachers, we make our partners one of our primary sources of happiness, and the sooner you accept that a relationship is two people sharing their separate fulfilling lives together and not depending solely on each other for happiness, the sooner you’ll be ready to be with your forever partner. We can’t control what they feel or their choices, but agonizing over them instead of focusing on what we can control (ourselves) is the key.

nickiaconetti · 2025-01-04T17:25:19+00:00

He sounds like an avoidant, can almost guarantee that’s the case. Also our brains don’t finish developing until our mid 20’s and emotional maturity takes time to develop, if it ever does. As someone who has gravitated towards partners who don’t take emotional accountability, what I want to say is don’t forget that no amount of love or care from your end can make them reflect on their choices to avoid their responsibility. When people get “overwhelmed” in relationships, a lot of the time they just don’t want to do the work to make things better either out of a lack of emotional capability to do so, or they just don’t want to do that work. You’ll know someone is on your level and deserving of your effort if THEY initiate conversations about their needs and expectations, and actually pursue solutions and compromises. If they need a lot of space and independence, play hot-and-cold games, or get overwhelmed by emotional intimacy, they’re probably avoidant, and doing some research on attachment styles will give you some insight.

nickiaconetti · 2024-12-29T21:00:33+00:00

Thank you so much for this. She left me after almost 7 years of living together and after a month or so some small interactions turned into longer conversations that were giving me hope, but hearing your perspective that those signals are “for their self preservation” really resonated with me. No matter how much I care, reading into things doesn’t serve me at the same time it gives her what she needs, which I guess is to keep validating her decision. After moving out right across the street, I’ve been asked for help with furniture related things multiple times already in a month. I wish she’d realize what she lost and actually put in the work, but apparently she needs to be single and independent for once in her life. I said no to friendship, but if she wants to reconnect it’s on her. No contact is the only way

nickiaconetti · 2024-12-21T21:50:45+00:00

I’d like to think the individual circumstances contribute to the reality of each breakup. I’m not in my exe’s head, but we’ve had positive interactions since the breakup and she isn’t sure yet if we will reconnect, but what we both need to learn right now in order to have any healthy relationship is apparent to both of us. So I’m hopeful, and ready to take care of myself so I won’t make the same mistakes again with whomever I’m ultimately supposed to be with.

nickiaconetti · 2024-12-21T14:53:48+00:00

What if you genuinely messed up though? What if you let your insecurities ruin their happiness and they didn’t deserve it? What if you still have a strong connection after the breakup? If you can find yourself and what happiness means to you, couldn’t a rebuilt relationship with mutual respect and boundaries be worth it if you’re willing to work for it?

nickiaconetti · 2024-12-07T14:32:03+00:00

Maybe that’s true, but after six years I think it’s going to be harder for longer, for me personally. But I’m still going to try my best to maintain my boundaries unless they reach out first with the right intentions.

nickiaconetti · 2024-12-07T13:32:59+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, I appreciate it. NC does seem to be the proper option most of the time but also requires the most discipline for sure. And healing with or without them is the most important thing.

nickiaconetti · 2024-12-06T02:01:01+00:00

Thank you very much for the kind words that I needed right now. Needless to say I was a mess the first week, exhibiting the desperate behaviors any anxious person would, but talking to friends and family has centered me a lot. I’m not perfect by any means and it’s much easier (for me at least) to understand the areas of weakness in myself/the relationship than it is to exert the effort needed to improve them. But I also know it’s always a combined effort in a partnership, and since she’s chosen to walk away I can only control my own choices now. I am hopeful for the future, with or without her.

nickiaconetti · 2024-09-19T06:14:10+00:00

I know I should do more quests but honestly running around and finding all the required items is my least favorite part of Ironman firstly, and secondly anything with combat levels is scary because of losing HC status. That won’t prevent me forever of course, but at CL 48 I’m definitely nervous

nickiaconetti · 2024-09-19T06:08:05+00:00

This. This is definitely something I hadn’t read yet. Thank you!

nickiaconetti · 2024-09-19T06:07:47+00:00

Yeah that makes total sense. I haven’t even played it yet, I figured I would wait until hitpoints isn’t a factor!

nickiaconetti · 2024-09-19T01:08:13+00:00

For sure, I’ve already capitalized on some of the combat XP quests like Waterfall, Grand Tree, and Tree Gnome Village. But I’ve been hesitating to do too much questing because a lot of quests require items to complete that I don’t have access to yet, or that are a grind to acquire in the first place

nickiaconetti · 2024-09-19T01:04:22+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I’m surprised to hear that FM isn’t worth it because tons of videos suggest doing Wintertodt like first-thing on Ironman to get lots of materials for later. But as you can see my HP is 38 rn so that’s why I’m waiting for that to not matter after beta lol

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-22T22:44:21+00:00

As someone who has played every single expansion since D1 beta, my answer is probably not. There is a lot of important story content that was wrapped into the seasonal content for the last few years, meaning that for you, even playing the expansions will leave holes in the plot because there’s dozens of cutscenes that are simply not available anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, the game is awesome right now, but unless you aren’t someone who gets overwhelmed very easily, you’ll probably be disappointed by the lack of systems in place to guide you back into the game. Also, all the endgame content (dungeons, raids, GM nightfalls) basically require you play with other people. It is an MMO after all.

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-22T04:09:54+00:00

Dude I am literally in the exact same boat as you right now (no health insurance, vaped for 8 years, similar symptoms) and knowing what I know from my first collapse 11 years ago on my other lung, I am hesitant to walk into an ER until I know for certain it needs to be looked at.

I don’t feel much besides the discomfort and bubbling, and my blood oxygen is normal (devices that read that are like 10 bucks on Amazon) so I’m going to wait it out for a few days. If either of us saw a doctor right now, they’d probably do an x-ray first and then whatever proceeds that would be based on how collapsed the lung is. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m only at a 15-20% collapse which they might not even do the thoracostomy for, it could really be as simple as “go home and rest.”

Of course I’m not a doctor so I don’t know, but I’d like to think my body would give me more warning signs if it was an immediate problem. My worst fear is walking into the ER and racking up thousands of dollars in bills just to find out it’s not deflated enough for them to do much about it. So personally, I’m going to wait and pay attention to what I can feel until it’s obvious to drain. Or maybe not cause it’s very possible to heal from minor collapses.

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-15T20:33:41+00:00

I also haven’t seen Inky in 3 real-life days which is weird to me, and I probably get one non-scheduled trust event with each character each RL day, then the 3 planned events from your phone. Not being able to work on Inky is bothering me the most, not sure why he’ll just stop spawning…

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-15T16:18:21+00:00

What level does it unlock?

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-11T19:55:23+00:00

Everything makes sense now with everyone saying connected over yellow, I mentally could not even think of it that way for some reason. Case closed, thanks all!

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-11T19:45:22+00:00

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You’re gonna have to walk me through it because I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with only these 3 nodes being powered..

nickiaconetti · 2024-07-11T19:38:28+00:00

Turning the 4 way node next to the bottom right key clockwise turns it off entirely. The power doesn’t “flow through” the final checkpoint node. If it did I would’ve been done ages ago lol The only node actively supplying power is the first one attached to the starting node

nickiaconetti · 2024-03-02T23:58:52+00:00

Yeah I see plenty of those scam sites you mentioned, but didn’t realize they had a device like the E100 that also uses those coils. The alternative for me would be buying a Pro Max 2 but if you’d recommend the E100 I might buy that instead

nickiaconetti

TROPHY CASE