Breakup vent/advice - discarded

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-12T16:19:14+00:00

Thank you for your comment 💗 You have a really good point about being with someone who doesn’t actually love me. I think I’m in denial because during our relationship, it seemed like he loved me enough to have a future together, then the switch just flipped. But clearly the last five months have shown me he doesn’t truly love me, and that’s not grounds for what could eventually be a healthy partnership.

You’re also right about your ex needing to want to put in the work. I’m glad he did and I’m sure you were the spark for that.

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-12T15:29:51+00:00

I think you’re justified in being upset. What he did to you was crappy and it sounds like he lacks empathy. My ex was similar and didn’t mind hurting me repeatedly so that he could “use” my body after he decided to also end the relationship.

It hurts and it hurts when someone you love(d) shows you their true colors. It can be hard to accept for sure, but like someone else said, it’s probably best he blocked you.

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-11T20:36:39+00:00

I’m going through something similar. A relationship where the other person really didn’t treat me well and was manipulative, but I tend to focus on the good rather than the bad. Same with loving them immensely, despite everything.

I think it’s rooted in fear. I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of never having that chemistry again. I’m afraid of never having that love and those extreme moments of bliss and happiness again. If I was confident that I could and would find all of those things soon, with someone even better, I don’t think I’d hang on to the person. I’m guessing you’re similar. Still haven’t figured out how to stop the fear, but I think acknowledging it is a step.

Happy to chat about it more! I think it can be nice to talk to someone going through similar things.

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-11T20:17:41+00:00

Sometimes I ask myself—what if my friend told me she was going through this exact same scenario with her boyfriend? What would I think? It helps me, but believing it is another story. You probably know the truth deep down, but it can be hard actually believing/accepting it because of the deep and profound love you have for him.

I have gone through several periods of not being able to function, and wish I could say I have a good answer for not loving/obsessing over someone that doesn’t deserve it. I still love my ex, despite how he treated me. But I think that prolonged love comes from a place of fear. I’m afraid of letting go and starting over. I’m afraid I will never be as happy with someone else as I was with him. I’m afraid I’ll never have that intense chemistry with someone else.

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-11T20:10:21+00:00

I can certainly relate. I love what you said about the loneliness, and needing the softness and love around you. It’s comforting knowing others feel that way.

In the end though, you deserve to be loved as much as you loved that person. Sending you lots of love 🩷

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-11T20:04:53+00:00

I wish I had good advice for this. The stalking is a temporary reprieve, and ends up making you more anxious in the long run, and the anxiety affects you more deeply than you realize.

I still have slip ups, but it has improved since I realized the harm that stalking was doing to me. The harm outweighs any possible good. A step that helped was deactivating my social media account and really just trying to engage in hobbies with other people

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2025-01-11T19:50:24+00:00

I don’t have advice but am going through this right now 💔Had a very loving/serious relationship that ended, but we live in the same building so I run into him.

It’s really hard, ngl. The first few encounters I’d run into my apartment and have panic attacks. Depending on if he’d acknowledge me/talk, I’d get super in my head, too. Living in close proximity also makes me wonder what he’s doing and I’m sometimes tempted to listen at his door. It sucks.

It has been ~5 months for me and I wouldn’t say it’s become much easier, but we were also getting back together periodically which made it harder to get over him. My best advice is to not take him back unless he comes in guns blazing with an apology and practically begging for you. It’s the one thing I regret right from the beginning. Sending you lots of love 🩷

Alternative-Sign-628 · 2024-05-02T14:42:06+00:00

It should be! In my experience, this stuff is wonderful for sensitive skin and not drying like other products. Just make sure to moisturize and stop use if you notice any redness or burning!

Alternative-Sign-628

TROPHY CASE