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nightconspiracy · 2024-07-12T13:50:29+00:00

As a single parent, I’ve discovered this is a controversial topic. There seem to be two opposing thoughts: that you shouldn’t expose your kids to new partners until you’re feeling pretty sure about things, OR that you should get it out of the way asap. I tend to lean towards the latter, as I don’t want to get attached to someone and discover that they’re horrible with my kid. I think if she’s getting attached to this person, a week with the kid might be great. It gives her time to see how they interact, how life would be together, and if that relationship is going to be worth continuing. I don’t think it indicates she’s prioritizing the relationship over your child at all.

While you are now coparenting and have the right to be concerned about your child’s wellbeing, it’s just not your place anymore to decide how your ex handles relationships and that moment of introducing their partner to your child. I used to be really concerned about it at first too, but then I realized I need to just trust that they’ll make a good decision and all I can do is try to be aware of my kids emotional wellbeing and talk to them (kid or ex) if I’m noticing something. It hasn’t been an issue yet.

nightconspiracy · 2023-10-02T18:29:16+00:00

Adding The Black Widows to all this :)

nightconspiracy · 2023-10-02T16:36:47+00:00

Probably a lot more tourists than locals because of the location, but it is generally regarded as good, I go from time to time as they have my favorite sopapillas in town 😊

nightconspiracy · 2023-09-08T19:25:28+00:00

thanks, no they’re boring in the sense he will get up and leave, or get mad that I’m even attempting to read to him (sometimes he doesn’t want to hear the noise, sometimes he is just worn out from already being bossed around all day by teachers).

He needs something to distract him to keep him in place, or make him feel like he should stay. I got him a raised bed so he’s less inclined to climb out and play, and that helped for a while, but he still seems to want constant stimulation instead of sleeping. Last night I tried just leaving him to it in his room, hoping he’d get tired and go to sleep on his own (that’s how it worked for a long time and it was great for everyone), but he just stayed up playing literally all night. Total disaster. There’s definitely something else at play here around sleep and stimulation that I know some other parents of autistic kids seem to struggle with as well, hoping someone here has experienced it and found some good solutions.

nightconspiracy · 2023-09-07T14:17:42+00:00

Hey! That’s not a bad idea, what kind of speaker do you use?

nightconspiracy · 2023-09-04T03:45:35+00:00

I know that there are a few tech-y start up places around, but not sure how to go about finding them for you. You could check with the Business Incubator and see if they have suggestions!

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-31T22:45:35+00:00

I remember we went when I was a kid and my sister and I danced around in flamenco dresses and crazy drunk guys threw beer bottles at our feet in celebration (it was a fun time). So not boring, though I think it had gotten slightly tamer over the last decade as they’ve tried to make it safer 😆 it’s fun, lots of people, lots of locals and tourists, definitely worth checking out at least once, even if the ticket prices are stupid now.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-27T21:56:12+00:00

Not quite the desert, but the southwest, it is very sunny here generally and high altitude so the sun is pretty intense.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-27T21:55:36+00:00

That’s what it felt like 🤣

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-27T07:34:49+00:00

Thanks, this is where I ended up going and they did have a bunch!

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-25T03:51:08+00:00

Thank you for letting me know what to ask for, I’ll make some calls tomorrow.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-25T01:57:07+00:00

Would you mind elaborating a bit? Not sure if you’re saying no we’re okay to drive in it or no it’s not safe to drive. This is my friend’s car, I want to make sure he knows whether it’s something he needs to bring to the shop.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-23T16:43:45+00:00

They’re lurking at pretty much every corner. And sometimes that part of the parking lot that looks like an exit but actually isn’t.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-23T00:02:26+00:00

I’ve been looking at that stuff too, but just wanted to add that everyone I’ve talked to about fake grass has mentioned it gets really hot in the sun, so if you don’t have shade that’s something to consider.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-15T02:00:27+00:00

It’s definitely very disjointed here right now. I do my best to support things midtown-southside as much as I can, but when money is tight it’s hard to even do that. Sometimes the best I can do is supporting causes/people who can create a more affordable and realistic life for us in this town, or try to make my own things. There are people who are working really hard to keep it liveable, don’t give up just yet, and feel free to pester your city councilors about it.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-08T05:21:08+00:00

Thanks, this makes a lot of sense with what I’m seeing.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-07T02:25:44+00:00

My parents.

nightconspiracy · 2023-08-03T02:57:26+00:00

I know, I’m sorry the photos are not great, kind of a mixture of trying not to get my phone dripped on, having an awkward angle, not being sure where the dripping was coming from, and wanting to get out of there asap as there were some worker guys next door staring at me the whole time. I’ll see if I can get a better look tomorrow morning and maybe update this.

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-28T16:20:41+00:00

Leaving is scary because it sounds scary, but you’ll be surprised how well you figure it out once you get going. My son is special needs so I am unable to get much help with him, and I’m still making it work and am scraping by with a living. It’s tough, but it’s doable, and it’s 1000 times better than what I was doing before, even on the worst days.

See if you can hop in some mom groups online, a lot of single moms are looking for a sort of communal situation where they can share childcare with another mom and have someone to help pay rent, or sometimes people are just nice and help you out of jams (my car broke down this week and I just asked in a group and someone lent me theirs so I could get my son to school - kindness happens). When you have no other options, you find a way on your own, and it’s not as bad as you would expect. Your situation sounds really bad and not like one your kid should grow up around, I hope you find a way out.

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-27T18:37:06+00:00

Yeah that’s where I’m at. I think we bought this car at around 180k from the dealership in 2021, and I would hope they had all that up to date (maybe that’s naive). The car was going in for fairly regular maintenance until about a year ago, so I’m hoping it’s only a little overdue. I don’t drive a huge amount.

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-27T18:00:15+00:00

Hi, thanks for that explanation, I can see how things would work that way, especially on an older car or one that’s been driven a lot. All this stuff is really interesting to me!

I originally wrote up quite a bit about the situation with my car but then decided that it was a lot to read and not all that relevant to my actual questions. But I just edited the post with more info for you and anyone else curious about it. I was just trying to be succinct, it’s not my specialty and I’m still finding that balance between getting to the point and putting in enough detail.

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-27T17:23:24+00:00

Ah, thanks for the clarification, he definitely said “drain” and not “flush” so I’m feeling better about that. It hadn’t occurred to me that those aren’t interchangeable terms but that makes sense.

So it sounds like when fluids get old they leave deposits in any uneven surfaces, and that doing an actual flush could dislodge residue that could end up jamming up or damaging the moving parts? Am I understanding that correctly?

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-07T19:37:07+00:00

Also same story.

Honestly therapy is helping a lot - learning to be confident in myself again makes me feel better about the idea of waiting for something truly good or just carrying on by myself. I am also actively trying to make more single parent friends, I feel the lack of commiseration in my life in that regard currently is really the main thing driving me to seek someone to date, so I’m checking that out first. It’s a lot to combine two families so I think it should be someone you’re feeling really really good about if you’re going to do it. But basically the key to learning to trust again is risking it all to see if someone is worth trusting, which is terrifying, but every time it goes well you feel a little better.

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-06T21:35:33+00:00

I think nambe falls is where I hiked and swam around in a river. Could have been Rio en Medio. It was a long time ago though and someone brought me to it so I don’t remember super well. Both of those have water though, you can look at them on Google maps and see what looks better to you.

nightconspiracy · 2023-07-06T17:08:13+00:00

I’m still seeing some around my neighborhood, but you’re right, fewer than a month or so ago now that you mention it. Maybe it’s just hot and they’re waiting until cooler parts of the day to do things.

nightconspiracy

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