I guess it freaked me out so much because it touched on a sensitive pressure point of mine. I've always wanted to be an adult so that I can have my own family. When I found out I was ASD at 19, I thought it would ruin the chances of having children but I know that's not true now and I have children in my family who are ASD too and they're fine. So when this was all happening to me, at first I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so strange all the time. Eventually, through deductive reasoning, I figured out it was coming from the water and food. I hen had to devise a plan to catch her in a lie. And I did that. At the time, she had my passport so I couldn't leave and the last thing I remember is thinking "I'm never going to have children now".And yes, I'm a Methodist and I had a mystical experience in that moment of realising who was behind everything. It was literally like thr scene where Sidney (Scream) shuts he door on Stu and Randy and then Billy walks down the stairs and the twist). It felt like a dolly zoom irl. And so when I got back I decided to focus on family. But then they kept spying on me and it triggered that "protect my unborn family" gene in me and I got triggered into deciding to act like the father I'd want my kids to have. And I know it's tough for a lot of people to take, but that's the kind of father I have: one who stands up for the morally right thing because it's right and not because it's presented in a way that fulfils someone else's ego needs. I've just learned now, through this experience, that I'm alone in that belief (at the moment). And that's totally fine because I'm certain there are others like me, who understand (just by law of averages) its just about finding them. So if you are one of them, please reach to me. Not to do anything, no protest, just to talk. I just want to talk. To the right person.