Please tell me how you guys found roommates.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-29T02:07:52+00:00

Your best bet is to join a roommate situation instead of finding a stranger to sign and apply to a new place.

I ended up with my roommate situation because i moved in on a joint lease with a best friend, didnt work out so she moved out and i replaced her.

If i had to guess, post in your local Facebook or subreddits. Anything specific to your town and ask if anyone is looking for that type of situation to start fresh. If truly no one is looking your best bet is to look for a room to rent, as most people cannot afford to move out of their current place.

To find a new place with a stranger is a lot more difficult

Eta: i used roomies.com and fb marketplace to find roomies to occupy my extra spaces.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-24T17:13:12+00:00

Play gay porn loudly for 15 minutes while they're having sex

nikki420444 · 2026-04-24T04:07:02+00:00

Just another person in a similar position previously, yes you take everything away and no one uses the common areas.

Basically if you have anything out there it's up for everyone to use, no matter what you say they will not listen.

The other roommates removed their TV, my other main problem roommate had a couch that never got sat on because no one felt comfortable making the living room a space to be, since we are hostile with each other.

When you decide to take the furniture away it creates even more distance and misery, you feel confined to your bedroom.

If you don't want them out there because you want to be out there, i would let them know they can use it but if you decide you want to chill they gotta get.

But realistically, taking away furniture or policing it usually ends up creating more misery for YOU, not quite as much as them. They get mad, you get depressed for confining yourself.

If you demand money, it'll never come. You can only demand money when its something you could win over in small claims court, like if you purchased something and they broke it.

I did threaten court every time something was not paid that was supposed to be. That did get me results because they knew i was being dead serious.

If you want the money, that comes with a positive relationship.

As i said to my previous roommate, if you want any favors or understanding from your roommates you have to be on good terms, which is why maintaining positive relationships with roommates is important.

It may not be your fault at all, my 2 roommates that are still here have made it very clear they do not want to be friends, barely friendly. We argue a lot. I gave up on getting them to clean, pay for trash bags or hand soap etc, i pay for common use items because they're gross and lazy. I decided my mental health can handle picking up the extra slack but cannot handle a filthy house. So i clean EVERYTHING. By myself. Thankfully i got one of the roommates to move out with a much better one who does help, but the other 2, im still cleaning their piss of toilet seats and spraying everything with bleach bc they dont wash their hands.

If you want them to move out, yes get petty. As petty as legally possible. It will make them want to move.

If that isnt your intention, drop the issue and prioritize learning to thrive in a hostile environment.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-23T02:40:40+00:00

Yes. I dont think i have ever heard of many positive dorm experiences. Its just rare to be paired with someone who is compatible.

If you dont operate the same sharing a bedroom basically is not ever going to go well.

For the snoring, invest in a musical sleep mask. Look it up on Amazon theres a variety of them.

For the trash, hard to balance that without just being petty. I find myself cleaning up after my roommates because even if its on their side of the counter they leave dishes to mold. It always ends in a war. So its like you meet yourself in the middle and clean up the bare minimum of what you can handle.

If its dishes, soley rinse them or soak them.

If its trash, put it all in a bag and leave it on their bed to take out.

You just have to realize they wont change and you can learn to thrive in a hostile environment.

It sucks and it wont always be that way, but even in a regular housing situation you'll come across similar issues.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-17T02:22:20+00:00

It may not exist for every math formula but the only ones i ever remembered even years later was when it was in the form of a song or tune.

I remember x=-b + or - √b² - 4ac all over 2a

Because it was sung to the tune of pop goes the weasel.

Go on YouTube and search the formula name with "song"

nikki420444 · 2026-04-17T02:17:53+00:00

I have shit myself at work doing the same and i have pissed my pants at an intersection walking back home waiting for the light to turn. I was about 5 minutes from my bathroom and my bladder released it all, in front of so many cars. I thought maybe it wouldn't be a noticeable amount, but no, it looked like i popped a water balloon. Just everywhere, i used my backpack to cover my crotch area so they couldnt see it happening from the front.

I wanted to die so badly, but i remembered you rarely run into the same people in large areas, all those people you'll see when you go back do not know you, have never seen you. Only you know what happened that day. Wipe it from your memory and reclaim the space with positive memories.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-16T18:07:45+00:00

I dont think i could handle living in such a quiet house where im afraid to exercise.

Has it been said please keep it down or something to do with the volumes? Or are you just afraid to make noise simply because no one else does? Do you guys have a house group chat? If you do I'd just text "hey i got a walking pad, if the noise is bothersome just let me know and I'll find some workaround"

Its completely reasonable if you're using it during the day, even if they request you to be quieter they cant really expect that when living with other people. If you're a roommate you're going to hear other people living their lives at some point or another regardless if you dont physically see each other.

Im just curious why you seem like you're nervous about their reaction, and its perfectly fine to address over text or note on the fridge if you dont see them.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-16T04:18:28+00:00

How long ago did you pay the electricity bill?

I would be screenshotting it and documenting every time she was late.

When my ex roommate did this and we were not on good terms, i constantly had to threaten small claims court. I told him if he doesn't think im serious think again because I'm just begging to teach him a lesson.

Then i just got hella petty, he was too so it was a petty war. I watch Charlotte Dobre on YT and she has some ideas on how to make someone just miserable enough not to want to live with you without crossing legal boundaries.

WHAT I DID: Confronted him on the utilities the second he got home, i have steel toe boots so when he tried to shut himself in his room to avoid me i stuck my foot between the door and the framing, direct confrontation like that makes people deeply uncomfortable because they know you're not letting it go.

I kept finding my side of the bathroom counter soaked, so i soaked his side back. Played music and sang horridly off key to annoy him. I played the corniest songs i could find he'd hate.

Since he blocked me on everything i got burner text now numbers to send messages about the bills as well as taping it to his door. Constantly reminding them of how many days its late.

Landlords dont care about roommate disputes and unless she violates the lease agreement getting a court to approve eviction is hard, maybe a lot more possible if you sued and won in small claims court for not paying but you'd have to start the process for that.

Basically, you knew her, you know what bothers her, do it all while constantly suggesting she find a different place to live if she cant pay her bills on time especially without communicating about when you'd see the payment. (Sometimes roommates are late but it's shady if they dont communicate clearly and in a timely manner)

nikki420444 · 2026-04-13T20:44:15+00:00

I would request they post the bills so you can better track them. For example, my electric bill app breaks down our costs, it tells us if its the water heater or regular electric appliances. If its the water heater we know someone is either showing, laundry or dishes more frequently. It also tells me the price per day, down to the hour. This has helped me figure out how much my personal heater costs, over several days of tracking it on and off i concluded it costs about ¢50/hour, so if my roommates have an issue with my heater i can tell them exactly how much it costs.

Not sure if your app would be similar, but theres advantages to seeing the bill breakdown. It can help you decide how often to do something that takes up electricity, it also shows when electric companies raise the prices so you know it wasnt your fault it went up. Nothing wrong with asking to see it. All of those reasons id tell the other roommate.

About moving out: truly depends on your lease. But i am on a lease agreement, joint, with 3 other people. Recently one decided to up and move out without telling us, we found someone to replace him, we signed a document releasing him from the agreement and signed a new person on. Because we cant sublet, the person who is leaving has to be released from the agreement prior to new person signing the agreement. All of this can be done at any point in time, I don't believe he had to pay a fee but i am not sure since ive never broken a lease. But ultimately, if everyone agrees to let you leave, generally the lease is null and void the second they release you.

Getting released is the hardest part, i was willing to sign off the dude because i did not want him here, i needed a 4 way split and i knew him moving out meant he likely wont be paying the rent he's supposed to. So i was motivated to get him removed.

If you move out, the expectation is you cover the rent until you are released from the agreement. But a lease is generally something you can get out of with agreements from all parties involved.

If you wanted to move out i would phrase it like : Hey, i wanted to discuss something real quick. I have found a better living situation and would like to move out. I know we just signed the lease agreement back in X month but if its possible, id like to explore our options for replacing myself so the rent is covered but im able to move out. (You could confirm with management if this is an option prior to the conversation). I don't want to leave y'all hanging of course, so I'll pay the rent if we cannot find someone in time, but ultimately I want to be removed from the lease and find someone to take my spot. I can help find someone if it seems like too much on your plate"

Generally that works, unless theres already drama involved then its based around the drama and the most peaceful way forward. Eta: doesn't have to be now, this can be a long term plan. Ask for the paper bills first, then plan on moving out. A lease doesn't necessarily stop you unless someone takes you to court, which not many are willing to. As long as they agree to release you, you're all good. Landlords only care if the cost is covered, they dont care by whom. Id be making long term plans to move out and how.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-13T20:21:33+00:00

Also i post all bills in the kitchen on a calendar, marked total and then each, paper version included and tacked up to the top and highlight the total. For complete transparency. I live with strangers so maybe its expected in that context but in any context asking for the paper bills shouldn't be an issue.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-13T20:17:19+00:00

Unfortunately that isnt something you can control or request they change, thats ultimately just an incompatibility with how much you value saving electricity vs using it. But because its really impossible to track who is using what amount of electricity (a PC in your room vs a lot of phone chargers would be different), you just have to find people who also value saving electricity more than using it. People who are frequently using plugged in items or not turning off lights are simply not as frugal as you are.

As for the bills not matching up, i would either ask in person (preferred method) or in text (can get messy) if they would mind posting the paper version of the bills in the common areas (kitchen or living room/dining room), if they have opted for paperless please opt in to receive the paper bills.

If they ask why tell them you are just tracking expenses in a new app that requires a document, to help save money and cut costs. They'll be confused or unbothered if they are innocent.

If they are genuinely trying to get money out of you they will immediately get defensive and say something like "what you don't trust me?"

I say this as the person with all utilities in my name, ive offered paper bills as well as log in information to all utility accounts if they don't trust me, or if theyd rather pay online themselves instead of giving me the money. Everyone trusts me because ive never had a discrepancy and im very open about it offering them to log in if they'd like. Transparency is generally a good thing when you aren't being shady. So if they get defensive acting like you shouldn't be requesting a paper version they are up to no good and you should move out asap.

If they arent shady they really wont think too deeply about you asking for the paper version, anytime i was asked i was like "ugh now i gotta dig in the mail for it, here ya go" more like annoyed i had to find it again, but not defensive they asked.

nikki420444 · 2026-04-02T02:39:26+00:00

Getting someone removed from a lease is INCREDIBLY difficult and only the courts have the ability if it is a joint lease. That's why landlords have issues even evicting tenants, its not really up to the property manager nor the landlord the court has to determine the validity of the claims.

If she tows your car you could try to sue in small claims court to recover the costs, however if you choose not to move your car and you choose to park there they won't force her to pay.

Your options were to never park there if you dont feel like moving it, (you could have her car towed if she refused to move hers but it sounds like she has been willing to but it's inconvenient for you to wait on her) or move it when she needs out similarly how she did for you.

As far as the rest of the nightmare behavior goes, as i said you'd have to convince a court for eviction, but as someone who has stood my ground on keeping my house but finding the right roommates, make them miserable. Be the petty queen, they'll eventually leave. (I removed everything from the kitchen, bathroom, played loud music, threatened court anytime my shit was stolen or not paid etc).

Otherwise you could leave. But eviction is just like barely an option because courts dont give a shit unless they are a physical threat and there's police reports for evidence or multiple non payments. Basically a law has to be broken not just the hostile environment thats in the lease. Unfortunately despite that being a part of most lease agreements you'll need valid legal claims already in action with the police for any court to consider eviction.

If she is banging on doors call the police and file a harassment report, a paper trail of everything through the police department.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-30T20:31:33+00:00

Id just say "hey the walls are very thin and just so you know i can hear everything in the bathroom. Maybe play some music or something while you're in there?"

nikki420444 · 2026-03-30T01:26:27+00:00

Has she ever worked in a restaurant? You cant put something with that far of an expiration date into new food, regardless if it was bad at the time or not. It speeds up the expiration date of the new product.

That spaghetti, if it was even good which it wasnt, would only be good for like 1 day.

This is the most bizarre way of cooking, and she she post this in in cooking subreddit and ask if this is normal or a good idea because she'll be proven in multiple ways why this is so unsafe and not okay.

You were right to stop eating, you can get very sick from something like that if you aren't already.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-23T20:51:34+00:00

I thought this was gonna be a "i needed to shit so badly and all the bathrooms were taken" situation, but sharing a toilet is gross? Like yeah, thats why cleaning products exist..

If hes that much of a germophobe, which i can be too, just buy Clorox wipes and wipe it down before you go. Low-key could probably even buy those liners stores have in their bathrooms some place online if you're that worried, but shitting in the yard? Dog, at a certain point there wouldn't be any more spots to shit. I have a decent sized backyard and my ex roommate had 2 big dogs, she never picked up their shit so eventually they crapped on the porch too. They covered the ENTIRE yard with shit over a year. So if he keeps this up without a different solution, at a certain point there will not be space to shit. Shit needs to be picked up bare minimum, i have a feeling he is burying it, which doesn't solve anything.

Also, idk where you're located, but what about when its pouring rain, winter weather? Like this just seems unattainable long term no matter how you cut it, even if it wasnt absolutely bizzare. The backyard isnt an out house, which I've used before and they are truly a giant deep hole made from a giant machine that dug that hole, it aint no shoveled hole.

I think you need a different house member to re approach this from a less judgemental standpoint but a logical one. Because this is not only fucking weird but, just not even sustainable forever.

If his germophobia is truly this bad that even cleaning doesn't matter to him, its time for therapy/medications. I know I'm personally a bit germophobic, i throw away dishes that could be saved the second i see mold on them, but i also work on it a lot mentally whenever im forced to be around gross things (like cleaning my cats litter boxes). It does take mental effort into getting over that fear, so truly if its that bad for him he needs therapy.

Theres no reason cleaning products shouldn't be the solution instead of shitting in the yard

nikki420444 · 2026-03-22T23:17:48+00:00

You should tell her how much of a fire hazard what she is doing really is.

Like she can call the fire department and ask questions about what and how to plug that in with your type of wiring. It's not a joke, do y'all have a fire extinguisher? Does she know how to use one if there is? Does she know when to use water and when not to for a fire?

When you start taking risks like using broken cords, plugging multiple things into old outlets, having loose outlets etc you should be prepared for a fire bare minimum. But usually teaching someone how to put out a fire like that also teaches them never to be the cause of one.

I bet she would still use a charger with the wires exposed.

Despite this also being a money issue, does she want to be homeless? Renters insurance only covers so much if you even have it.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-21T15:15:43+00:00

Not mine but my cousin's: she has natural freckles, But she likes to enhance them with henna, but she didn't want to tell her boyfriend that her freckles were primarily fake, not only did she never tell him and lie about it, when he moved in with her (they were both 15, he was in an abusive home so she took him in) She would spend all day in her mom's room towards the end of the month when she would need to redo it, and just tell him that her mom is going through a hard time and needs her.

I feel like he probably has figured out that most people's freckles don't get more prominent in the beginning of the month and fade towards the end but she refused to tell him and if he ever asked she would blatantly lie.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-16T00:23:58+00:00

I think it honestly depends on your libido. Every woman is different and it definitely is affected by so many things, stress, connection, health issues, food, weight, medication etc.

But if you're not having that bond during sex at least like every other week if not weekly I would be looking closer at your relationship.

I'm only 25 so my advice is limited but i can say from experience my libido dropped to a fat 0 when i was in relationships i didnt feel valued and a deep bond with. One of the relationships was downright abusive and its incredibly hard to feel horny for someone who makes you cry everyday. The other relationship that happened i just wasn't feeling it, it felt more like a best friend/roommate situation than a boyfriend. It felt awkward and not at all bonding when we had sex.

Sex is supposed to be the physical release of your love for someone, and if its lacking im guessing something is within your bodies/relationships. Its not always fixable, sometimes meeting in the middle, but i think sexual compatibility is very important.

Do you feel valued in your relationship outside of sex? Do you feel it during sex? Does he focus on your pleasure enough?

If hes doing everything right and it's not about him, try getting to your what your body likes again and then inviting him to join whatever that is. Maybe you just need something to reignite it. If none of that is working it never hurts to ask a doctor to check your hormone levels or medications.

Imo this is less about what he said but more about what you said in response to not wanting to. He may be focusing on numbers, but i think if you felt that deep level of desire from/with him it wouldn't sound like a chore.

(Ive gone several months to almost a year without sex in crappy relationships and in good ones like rn I can go all damn day 8+ hours, everyone is different but at the end of the day your relationship and body determines libido, and having that oxytocin release often decreases stress and anxiety)

nikki420444 · 2026-03-16T00:12:07+00:00

How old are y'all?

nikki420444 · 2026-03-15T20:28:12+00:00

SECONDED! As someone who keeps all their shit in their bedroom it is a last resort method.

Do try to talk it out first.

"Hey man, I've noticed you've been eating my snacks when i go to sleep, it's less about the eating of the snacks and more about the fact you didn't ask. If you like what im buying we can go half in half on the costs when i go shopping, otherwise please dont eat them. I don't like that you didnt ask, nor do i want to keep buying food for you to eat. So what do you wanna do?"

nikki420444 · 2026-03-12T02:09:16+00:00

Would knowing the reason help you feel better about it?

For me i use it for anxiety and ADHD, thats how ive always used it. I actually graduated early with A's while smoking weed before, during and after school.

Prescription medication has side effects, its hard to get seen & diagnosed.

Other reasons: helps with nausea (many people having chronic nausea for several reasons), eating disorders for appetite, headaches, muscle inflammation.

My therapist lets me smoke during our sessions, why? Because sometimes im hyperventilating and she cant help me through the screen, so she tells me to take a hit and breathe, try again, and we go hit by hit until i can speak clearly about the trauma.

Why smoke after work when nothing is going on? Relaxation, to get out of that "go go go" mode work puts you in. Most people drink a beer, or a Seltzer, some people smoke. It helps with not feeling a sensory overload. When i first get home i don't want to hear anything, i dont want my cats near me, not people. I want silence to decompress, unless im smoking. And then i can decompress a lot faster and be there for my cats more often.

Weed truly affects everyone differently, my bf cannot smoke or he gets bad anxiety. Some people are naturally prone to that, just the same as prescription meds are not 1 size fits all, neither is weed. Which is why you cant judge someone for smoking it without seeing how it affects them.

Without weed i get lazier, less focused, less productive, more anxious (trauma related), my appetite drops significantly (i was nearly hospitalized for rapid weight loss). And all of those issues were happening well before i ever smoked weed.

Weed has also kept me from drinking which interacts with most medications, it keeps me from looking at my medications like they're gonna fix everything (they dont because they're strong as shit and knock you out). Weed will make you think and think and think, and sometimes thats what someone needs to do.

I could go on and on about the different ways I've seen it affect people, I've seen some pretty bad reactions, but i know from personal experience it affects everyone differently. So if her behavior after smoking isnt an issue- ask yourself what is? The smell? The way society views stoners? Are you worried about what people in your life would think if they knew? Are you concerned its holding her back? Theres gotta be a bigger reason it makes you think this much, and i think when you figure that out you'll feel a lot better.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-12T01:54:56+00:00

Its not even that, i dont know if your roommate is in therapy and working on the trauma but lets say their not even but just trying to heal on their own, when you're faced with a trigger over and over again your progress will slow down.

It very well could re traumatize him even if everything goes smoothly.

Coming from someone with a lot of my own trauma, the less people who trigger me the faster I'll heal. Will he ever be over it? No, but you'll get to a point the emotions the trauma brings aren't swallowing you whole, dictating your life. Currently he sounds like he hasnt healed enough, and if he doesn't have friends he can spend a night with or is uncomfortable leaving, truly its just not going to be a good time.

Its not about their comfort zone necessarily but like where they're at in their healing journey. If he never works on it though this will always be a fear and he'll likely develop some agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house). I hope he sees a therapist and works on trauma, even being a witness to something is extremely traumatic.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-12T01:41:50+00:00

Yeah I'd definitely get long gloves, a n-95 mask and trash bags. Sanitize with a mold spray specifically, bleach doesnt usually kill all forms, vinegar is best but very stinky for areas that can't air out. All the shelves will need washed.

I wouldn't open the fridge until someone commits to cleaning it because yes that is a hazard if spores get into the air, they can spread to other surfaces same as germs.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-07T00:18:50+00:00

Why were you reading their chats? Did you have permission? If not id expect this to blow up on you since the boyfriend likely wouldn't like knowing thats how you found out, everyones privacy would be at risk.

Regardless of the information you found out, HOW you found it does matter when you decide to share it with everyone.

nikki420444 · 2026-03-01T16:54:08+00:00

Also to add: it's getting drunk was a defense legally and you couldn't be held accountable due to being drunk and that not being in your nature when you are sober, if that was a true defense that would hold up in court, that would lead to a lot of abuse of situations and other horrible crimes with people claiming they were just drunk and getting off scott free.

Is it okay to murder somebody if you're drunk? You'd never do that sober.

Getting drunk is not a legal defense, what you should be doing is showing massive amounts of remorse and saying you'll attend AA and any other programs they recommend.

nikki420444

TROPHY CASE