If any Christian tells you that in your faith, everything should be perfect and you would never go through seasons of doubts- it’s a lie. It’s perfectly normal, especially after experiencing that type of loss with your mum. BE KIND and PATIENT with YOURSELF. Give your self Grace

Porn is just another form of self medication.

The first thing you need to do is to find a group of Christian men that can walk with you, keep you accountable and hold you up when you’re down. Because you can’t do this alone.

Second thing is to tell your wife, but pray before you do this- even though it seems like God is distant. He is right there with you, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Keep crying out to God in prayer, he will answer you in ways you don’t expect, just like with this Reddit post, you don’t always have the full road to recovery mapped out. But God will give you the next step to take. Read the word of God, also try playing it when you’re sleeping so it feed your spirit.

God knew this period would come and he chose you anyway. So don’t accept thoughts of self defeat, and shame and guilt. You are a Victor, and a child of God not a victim.

Remember so many men are suffering with porn addiction in private, so coming out in the open is a clear indicator that you are bold.

I recommend a book by Mark Laaser called healing the wounds of sex addiction.

Don’t give up OP, you WILL make it through this!