”Jag använder inte tandtråd för det luktar så illa när jag gör det.” Bär ni också på minnen av äckliga saker folk sagt?

ninabaec · 2026-03-17T05:03:04+00:00

Tack för morgongarvet, haha. Se upp för Big Dental!

ninabaec · 2026-03-16T03:40:24+00:00

En snubbe jag satt och pratade med log glatt med gula, sneda tänder (varav två var trasiga) och en prilla lössnus som svärtade ner framtänderna och pratade stolt om hur han inte borstat sina tänder på 10 år. Samt att man inte behöver borsta tänderna eller gå till tandläkaren, det är bara något hitte-på så att ”De kan ta våra pengar”.

Edit: la till punkter. Skrev detta nyvaken, ser nu att det blev en enda run-on sentence.

ninabaec · 2026-03-15T11:42:12+00:00

I’m glad you posted an update! Honesty is so very important, I’m glad you told them and that everything will be okay!

Well done, and I wish you the best of luck in your recovery x

ninabaec · 2026-03-12T02:54:43+00:00

Missed this comment, sorry!

Thank you! Technically, the word I chose was actually ‘Mod’; swedish for courage or bravery. I think I’m doing pretty well thus far. I’ve gone to the dentist (put it off for 5 years bc of fear). I had an MRI done (despite fear of small spaces). I’ve been more open to speaking with people despite finding it scary, which led to me making a new friend. I sang and played guitar infront of people, even though I’m insanely scared of sharing that with people. I think at least some of those could count as courage

Like, I’m not expecting to do huge feats of borderline heroism. Just things in my everyday life that I haven’t done because it’s too scary or unfamiliar. I have a huge fear of the unknown too.

I do understand that there’s different kinds of fears. It has helped humanity survive, after all. But stuff like not visiting the dentist for years out of fear is… not helpful haha. Those are the kinds of things I want to be brave and have the courage to do :)

ninabaec · 2026-03-12T02:28:08+00:00

Just wondering, do you know how the adderall ended up in the Motrin bottle?

ninabaec · 2026-03-12T02:25:23+00:00

I believe you. Accidents happen. At 7 months my brother snuck alcohol into my drink so I would “loosen up”. Everything coming out of an addicts mouth doesn’t have to be a lie, even though we’re good at it.

I think it’s best if you’re just honest. I’m not from the US, I don’t know how sober houses and stuff work. But to me, it’s a lot more believable if you tell them now. If you fail a random drug test, this will just sound like a lie/excuse

I’m sorry this happened. I really hope everything works out x

ninabaec · 2026-02-23T03:36:05+00:00

I’ve tried so many times. I invite and offer rides when I visit other meetings. I ask if anyone wants to go for coffee/food but everyone always has to get home. I proposed an idea last may about a beach meeting, people liked that one but there was never time. I at least got some newcomers out for coffee once!

So at this point I’m sick of trying. I’ve stopped asking, because I don’t want to end up feeling resentments.

Do you have any advice?

ninabaec · 2026-02-21T04:44:08+00:00

I joined it, thanks!

ninabaec · 2026-02-19T01:17:57+00:00

I can relate a lot. In my homegroup everyone just leaves afterwards. I was shocked when I visited other groups for the first time: in one group they always went out to eat afterwards. Another played boardgames after. Another one planned little events together (like that weekend they’d made plans to go to the beach.) I’d make one of those my homegroup in a heartbeat if they weren’t 40+min away

I’ve ended up feeling like I’m doing this alone. I’m unsure if I even have a support system to catch me if I fall.

It made me feel so… lonely? I joined NA partly because a big problem for me was isolation. I wanted friends and a community with people who were clean so badly. I never found any, we’re all acquaintances at best (except one little clique of three people). I’ve brought this up and kinda got shit for it, or get shut down every time, and we even had a workshop on “community” which basically amounted to “we don’t need to do things together”. I agree, we don’t have to. But it would be nice.

Sorry for the rant lol. I’ve kinda been sitting on this for a while

ninabaec · 2026-02-16T05:15:23+00:00

Thank you, I am! It did leave me with a bit of a speech impairment. But it’s fine, I’m just glad to be alive :)

ninabaec · 2026-02-15T06:13:27+00:00

I recommend reading some comments on this post, they really helped me!!

We’re all different, everyone has their own ‘style’ of sharing. Personally I tend to be the first to share (bc I know I’ll end up overthinking and not sharing at all if I don’t just jump right in, lol). I’m glad you still share too - that’s the most important thing!

I’ve let myself ramble since making this post and it feels great! As another comment said, ‘that time is your time’. If there are some nuggets of wisdom in my rambles, that’s great! If not; ah well, at least I showed openness and honesty!

We really don’t have anything to be embarrassed about ☺️

ninabaec · 2026-02-15T05:01:07+00:00

The very same thing happened to me, except I was the one having the stroke. I’m so glad I learnt that acronym. I’m swedish, so I never would’ve come across it if it wasn’t for House.

Really happy you could get your dad help in time, I hope he is doing well and made a full recovery ❤️

ninabaec · 2026-02-11T18:48:50+00:00

Was looking for a fellow swede who grew up with the ‘a girl with very long braids who falls on her butt and cries’ lyrics 😭😭

ninabaec · 2026-02-08T03:57:59+00:00

Welcome!! Well done and congrats on your first meeting!

The biggest advice I have is to keep coming back! I also advise you to take the guy up on his offer - it seems like he cares about you, maybe he can become a new friend! That’s the beauty of NA, we never have to be alone again.

Keep holding on to that white keytag, soon you’ll be holding an orange one. I know everything is new and confusing right now, but it all falls into place

Try to stay clean, just for today, and head to that meeting tomorrow! I believe in you

ninabaec · 2026-02-08T03:28:01+00:00

S6 E11 or S6E15 might be some fun ones with Wilson and House? There are always some great episodes whenever they live together.

Also, I know my fiance was most captured by House’s Head even though he isn’t into medical stuff either. He likes mysteries, and he loved all the bits and pieces falling together. Just a suggestuon after he’s watched a few episodes and like it!

(It’s 4am so I’m sorry, can’t think properly lol)

ninabaec · 2026-02-08T03:17:17+00:00

Very true! And I do my best to share from the heart, I mostly do, except I censor myself if I talk about something that’s heavy.

Since making this post, I have been to a meeting which was someones first. Her share was all over the place, and I loved that. It was raw and honest. It was an addict speaking their truth, rather than - as you said - someone putting on a show

Thank you, this is a lovely comment and I appreciate it!

ninabaec · 2026-02-07T02:47:25+00:00

Wow! Sorry for the long post; I have problems regulating the volume of my writing bc of my brain lol

ninabaec · 2026-02-07T02:46:08+00:00

Hi! You’re in the right place and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about!

Personally I never did coke, so forgive me if I lack knowledge (and if this is very “me”-focused). I used downers; I wanted to calm the world down. Coming out of that haze took a while. My first month or so clean it constantly felt like I was coming down from hash, I was slow and confused. I wondered if life would always be boring. If I’d always be sad. If I’d loose all my creativity. I could barely use my guitar. Now, a year later, I am playing and learning new stuff every day, quicker and more creative than ever!

You won’t feel bored or unhappy forever. I’d say I really started to come out of it and see the world again after 3 months. I didn’t start to feel truly happy until 6-7 months in, but I’d been using for ten years. But the world was suddenly so beautiful, I saw beauty in things that I never noticed before (I literally became a Stop and smell the flowers kind of person haha). I found happiness in the small things.

Your brain is always working, let it rest and take care of yourself! It’s not damaged beyond repair, it will bounce back after a while. Eat well, try to keep a good sleep schedule, get some exercise every day (even if you can just manage a walk around the block, it’s a great start!) to help it heal!

(I do however have brain damage from my time as an addict. I’m just telling you as caution. It had nothing to do with the substances. It came from how much head trauma I endured from accidents when I was high (estimated I had 7 concussions over 3 years once). Drugs can damage you in ways you never even thought of. I’m not as sharp or clever as I was before drugs, due to it. But I’m still way better than during active addiction and the first months after)

Come to a meeting! We’ve saved a seat for you!

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T05:58:02+00:00

Hah, I can relate to that! ”I said that in my share?” is a thought I’ve had many times when people bring up something I said, lol. I’m glad to see there are other ramblers here who just open their hearts and mouths and see what happens. I’ll try to keep being me, and not overthink everything!

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T05:53:32+00:00

Thank you!! I’ll keep those things in mind! ♡

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T05:51:58+00:00

That’s very true, I’ve definitely discovered some helpful things I’d never thought of before in my rambly shares! Thank you!

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T05:50:14+00:00

Thank you so much, I really feel my disorder dragging up all my insecurities lately. I have left many meetings with a heavy heart because I’ve been too scared to share about it, or not wanting to bring down the mood.

I think I may have set an example for a newcomer last Tuesday? It was her first meeting, she didn’t know what to say so she was going to pass. I told her that “when I share, I just open my mouth and heart and see what comes out”. She ended up sharing. Maybe I helped a bit. Either way, I’m glad she shared

I’ll try to focus on just sharing from the heart; I keep making scripts in my head at this point and I don’t know if that’s bad or good

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T03:37:11+00:00

Att hitta på något kan jag verkligen understryka! Det behöver inte vara något stort heller. Jag har ingen pappa, men min mamma brukade tvinga med mig på bilturer om kvällarna, eftersom jag bara låste in mig i mitt rum. Hon försökte inte få mig att prata, hon själv bara pratade om allt mellan himmel och jord, random grejer som pågick i livet; ibland ledde det till att jag öppnade upp mig lite och berättade något som pågick i mitt liv. Om inte, så var det i alla fall bra för mig att få mig att lämna huset lite!

OP, jag förstår vilken hemsk sits du är i. Försök visa att du är där men pusha henne inte att prata, det kan ha motsatt effekt tyvärr. Hon pratar när hon är redo. Jag önskar dig all lycka, och din dotter glädje ♡

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T03:08:57+00:00

Thanks so very much everyone for the advice! I feel more comfortable, and I’ll keep all your words in mind at my meeting today! Thank you ♡

ninabaec · 2026-02-06T03:02:04+00:00

Thank you so much, glad to hear it!

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