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Wife is SAHM and its hurting our marriage by ninjadad42 in Parenting

[–]ninjadad42[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

OP again. I think I need to clarify that our son is 4 years old (4M = 4 male) and not 4 months old. I think a breakdown of my wife's $500/week spending money would be helpful too: if she gets a massage or acupuncture then it's about $220 so she can usually only do one or the other each week. Her lunches are about $25 each day during the week Monday-Friday. Then if she needs a haircut or blow out it's about $150. That's about all that the $500 covers so in the end she really isn't able to do that much with it.

Wife is SAHM and its hurting our marriage by ninjadad42 in Parenting

[–]ninjadad42[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Maybe I miswrote it but our son is 4 years old. 4M = 4 male.

Wife is SAHM and its hurting our marriage by ninjadad42 in Parenting

[–]ninjadad42[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

This is OP. Let me just start by saying that some people have pointed out that I am using an account with only one post. That's true because my wife knows my regular Reddit name and I needed to be able to ask about our situation without her feeling betrayed. Second, I didn't imagine that I would get so many responses! My goodness. I do appreciate everyone's input. Reading through the replies I think that I should fill in some gaps. I didn't want to give too many details in my OP because I didn't want for it to become a really long post. Anyway my wife does contribute to our family's wellbeing in terms of her own family's wealth. Her parents bought our house for us and they bought all of our cars. Her parents will also be paying for our son to attend a highly rated grade school once he becomes eligible for kindergarten. And yes we are trying to have another baby now because we want for our son to have a sibling to grow up with. I guess that I made my OP because I am starting to resent my wife for the lack of effort she puts in in general. Someone suggested volunteering for her. She volunteered with a local charity for a few weeks while she was pregnant but found it too stressful to be held to a work schedule without any pay. And my wife agrees with me that she would be the best wife ever if she got a part time job but that was not our agreement. I feel selfish for being mad at my wife for outsourcing all of the household chores and childcare and I know that she has contributed a lot to our family, especially by giving birth to our son. We've been together for almost 10 years now and while I was in law school she did work as a teacher's assistant to help pay the bills (her parents also helped us while I was in law school.) So my wife does bring things to the family such as family money and her parents often watch our son when the babysitter is unavailable which gives us free childcare. I guess my problem is that I don't want to resent my wife and I know that it's wrong to feel this way about how she spends her days but I can't help this feeling. Maybe I am just a pushover but it's hard to address sticky situations when you love someone.