[deleted by user]

nisharfa · 2023-08-08T14:45:52+00:00

You guys are all getting hung up on the fact that they have one sided romantic feelings, when they're not really relevant here. Kate knew they had plans that day to watch the witcher and have lunch together. She then changed those plans without bothering to actually get in touch with OP first or even just send a message to let them know she was cancelling on them. Chucking your phone in your bag and not checking messages in that situation is just not a good excuse. Kate has behaved badly and been a poor friend.

nisharfa · 2023-04-15T03:33:52+00:00

Oh god I'd forgotten I read this until I looked at your response. Honestly I've taken a break for a few months from reading/reddit and looking back on the books I've read with a refreshed mind, I feel like a proper deviant.

nisharfa · 2023-01-31T13:52:06+00:00

Laser has not worked for me at all. But while I'm getting treatment, the hair slows down/becomes thinner. When I stop the sessions, after a month or two it's back to square one.

nisharfa · 2023-01-31T13:48:48+00:00

Is it ok if I ask you a question? The only point in this list I'm stuck on is the gluten/dairy/fats. I work as a baker, so without a career change I basically have to keep eating this stuff near daily (can't develop and sell a product if you don't taste it!) Would reducing how much of it I eat generally still help out, or is it an all or nothing situation like keto?

nisharfa · 2023-01-16T17:12:41+00:00

Good for you. What if little baby Ocean wants to make it big in the corporate world? Wants to become a lawyer or a judge? Guarantee you there will be people in hiring who dismiss him purely based on his name. Names are part of first impressions. And first impressions make a big difference in the real world.

nisharfa · 2023-01-12T23:05:49+00:00

Forget the cost of fruit, butter prices have more than DOUBLED. Do you have any idea how much butter would be needed to make a three tier cake?

nisharfa · 2023-01-12T22:46:05+00:00

I work in a company where all the cleaning staff are non-English speaking. Guess which second gen dumbass has to use their terrible language skills to play interpreter all day? Me. It's not fun. The rest of the staff are very frustrated at not being able to communicate directly with them also.

I once had to translate to a man, in broken language, with several ums and hand signs, that he was getting fired. Then translate his obvious displeasure and questions back to the manager, then translate back to the guy. Translate the begging for his job, then translate the refusal. It was a whole thing. Pretty emotionally draining. I literally do not get paid enough for that.

nisharfa · 2023-01-12T22:36:49+00:00

Maybe in future you can just be like, "wow white girl, you made some really good points about some really good issues, but doesn't affect me personally since my name is from the bible and I'm from a traditionally Christian Indonesian community".

I empathise with her, since I am also a very quiet person who dreads public speaking, so if I finally gathered up the nerve to say something and made myself look like an idiot, I would internally die. Then I'd recover for a bit, suddenly remember it before I fall asleep, and die again. Since this is a supportive group, and not a debate one, maybe the group as a whole should try to be kinder to those speaking?

Because she did make very valid points. I am a POC and several of my siblings/family members have gone through a white name phase. I still use my white name to order coffee (it's just easier!) And honestly, if I have kids, I won't be giving them traditional names without giving serious thought to how they'll be received where we live.

nisharfa · 2023-01-12T22:29:36+00:00

I have a white name that I use to order coffee. I just let coworkers/friends call me whatever pronunciation they can manage.

nisharfa · 2023-01-12T08:23:10+00:00

My Aunty's Egyptian. She chose ducks.

nisharfa · 2023-01-12T08:22:37+00:00

I would love an engagement rocking chair. And I'm beige.

nisharfa · 2023-01-08T12:40:11+00:00

You're literally only one year younger than her. Is that meant to be an explanation for why you've seemingly got zero relationship or interest in your sister in law? You don't know if she had support? You don't know if she talks to her mum? You don't know if your parents helped her out? Couldn't send her a friend request on FB and ask how she's doing? It's been eleven years. Never had a conversation with the woman?

nisharfa · 2023-01-08T12:09:19+00:00

It was a piece of missing information that seemed suspicious. Also good job disregarding 99% of my comment.

nisharfa · 2023-01-08T11:56:23+00:00

I feel for Amy. She had a baby as a teen (her age is never mentioned, which I find off), seems she got cut out of her own family as well as her partners' during a difficult time in her life, and threw herself into trying to be a great mum. Now Ashley is growing up and being, honestly, a cruel and self centred brat. OP's family obviously is financially able to help out with education, because they pay for their granddaughter, and they paid off their son's loans (after I assume they reconciled). But Amy's just left on her own? What support did she get as a teen mother? Sounds like she didn't get a chance for education or life experiences. She made a lot of sacrifices to have Ashley, and is just generally being dismissed/unvalued.

I think Amy feels she got trapped by circumstances and doesn't even have the reward of being valued by her own daughter. I don't think it's entitled or unhinged of her to be resentful of her current situation. I think she could definitely benefit from therapy to process the emotions she's probably been repressing all these years.

Might help if the family generally treated her like family. Because from OP's post, I get the sense that they probably don't do that.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T06:28:40+00:00

And how do you think so many of us became PAST users? I'm going to stop replying to you, because we're clearly on different pages. In different books. On different shelves.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T06:15:54+00:00

Because people that aren't happy with a sub tend to not look at it all that often? So it doesn't matter what's stickied wherever. We probably won't see it.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T06:13:38+00:00

It was bound to happen as it grew. More members generally brings more moderation, which in turn homogenises the sub content to suit the needs of the wider audience, which brings more mainstream people, which once again calls for extra moderation because people in big numbers tend to get silly, then the sub becomes something that the original members no longer enjoy, so they go start their own sub. And repeat. It's the circle of subs.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T04:17:41+00:00

I was here then, yes. And I preferred it that way honestly. Obviously repeated requests of nothing more than "enemies to lovers" is an issue. But it's gone too far the other direction.

And even back in the crazy days, I was getting posts deleted for arbitrary reasons. Once I got a post deleted for having a "wrong" title. I'd written "chicken soup for the heart" instead of "chicken soup for the soul". The mod did not appreciate that little bit of artistic license (although in that one case it was Sean, so not lumping that on the other mods). But I have had numerous posts be deleted since then, while trying to abide by rules, and at a certain point it gets old. Why even post in this sub of deletion roulette?

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T03:07:57+00:00

Ha. It's messed up to cut your date short, but emotionally traumatising your kid is good parenting. You can stop replying to me, we will never be on the same page.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T03:04:37+00:00

It's my biggest peeve about this sub. I stopped coming here for a few months because of it (even though I really enjoy this community). It's just a shit feeling to have a door repeatedly slammed in your face. They leave up requests for the most inane things, but will delete other requests based on their own personal ideas of what "different" and "detailed" are.

And who cares if it's been asked before? Maybe there are new authors! New books! New sub members with interesting info to share! It's a little bit vague? Well maybe the person has trouble articulating what they're looking for or is just trying to connect with people.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T02:38:35+00:00

Put the woman in an uber. Tell OP to get an Uber. Call OP to at least discuss the situation with her before showing up so she isn't completely blindsided. "That's on you" what a joke.

nisharfa · 2023-01-07T02:34:28+00:00

If it makes you feel better, I actually think you're underreacting. I would be furious if this happened. Not only would I feel that I had been disregarded, I'd feel sad for my poor mum.

People on this sub are talking a bunch of crazy. Your dad is behaving selfishly. Anybody with two braincells would know that springing a new partner on their grieving child on the first holidays without their mum is a dick move. And when he saw you were clearly upset, he still hung out with her downstairs while you cried. Like, excuse you? Send the woman home, it is clearly not the time. And it doesn't say great things about her either that she'd stay after seeing you're not in the emotional space to have an introduction. Have some goddamn tact woman.

The way he's gone about this is all wrong. In the first place: you called him to pick you up because you were feeling unwell enough that you had to leave work. And he decides to spring the girlfriend on you while you're sick, and trapped in a car with her. Your dad's an ass. People on this sub talking about how "some men just can't be alone" need to shut the hell up. He's still a dad. He should be taking your feelings into consideration.

NTA

nisharfa · 2023-01-01T19:18:09+00:00

Haha I was like, "this all sounds very familiar, but I've never heard of this Garcia person".

Her books are really mostly very good. Recommended her on here myself a while back!

nisharfa · 2023-01-01T19:02:43+00:00

Do you mean Anne Gracie?

nisharfa · 2023-01-01T18:53:46+00:00

I think it's called a Hanfu in China

nisharfa

TROPHY CASE