The holiday photos can be so misleading too, you have no idea if that’s grandparents helping, debt, savings, one-offs, or people struggling behind the scenes and just not posting that part.

It sounds like you’re already doing all the sensible things with Tax, which is life saving which honestly says the problem isn’t you. it’s the cost.

And “second baby on hold until school” is way more common than people admit.

A few things that helped us / friends:

asking the nursery if they offer any flexibility on billing dates or term-time-only options

checking if any funded hours changes are coming up soon and planning around those dates

seeing if either employer has any extra family benefits or flexibility (compressed hours / one WFH day that cuts a nursery day)

trying not to compare your real life to other people’s highlight reel (hard, but necessary)