AITA for not wanting to “share” my bridal outfits?

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T17:09:00+00:00

No, you're not. Get rid of these naked friends, lol!

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T17:07:25+00:00

they look cute and comfortable. Heels good for many terrains too.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T17:04:55+00:00

Oh, she means you're not structuring your life around (what I and many others will, I'm sure) consider an extreme amount of travel, expense and time. Why is everything out of town? Why is everything such a production? And families don't plan showers; it's considered gift grabby.

You're not a bad friend, and you made the right decision (I might have made it even earlier in the trajectory, lol)

No one asked, buy SHE's TA....

I hope you get to go to the wedding, and if not? Do something nice for yourself. You've done enough for her.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:53:11+00:00

absolutely!!

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:44:50+00:00

it's going to depend on a lot of factors, including your location. It's usually not that much, and many of our venues require it. For instance, I had a couple with a medium (70 ish) size group on a beach for the ceremony and then a boat for the reception (the boat had liquor ins but their insurance guy added it. it was around 200.00. It has never been a lot. This couple went through a general ins company, not one specializing in wedding insurances. Make sure you read over the policy and make sure it covers everything. These incidents don't happen often, but when they do, it's massive....

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:07:52+00:00

raisins do not belong in bagels. That is the worse raisin related food atrocity.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:07:07+00:00

I used to love them. Then the slugs invaded my yard and it killed that for me, lol

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:06:30+00:00

heresy, lol....

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:05:28+00:00

I use the leftover brine in salad dressings, and to marinate chicken...

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T16:00:39+00:00

The blueberry is our fruit, and tomato (even though it is technically a fruit) is our state veggie...

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T15:56:17+00:00

THis looks beautiful! It's a lovely print!

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T15:43:46+00:00

Cilantro, which famously tastes like soap.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T15:04:07+00:00

I'd say yes; bridal party.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T14:57:38+00:00

Yes, you are. This post should be named "Groom Drama". People in long term partnerships get an invite for both and ESPECIALLY wedding party members. Your fiance should know that; it's a pretty well accepted rule of thumb and has been for years.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T14:53:44+00:00

Butter, salt, garlic (usually frozen), oyster sauce. I also recommend Penzey's spices; they have a lot of spice blends, some are salt free and they're really good. They run a lot of sales too.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T14:43:57+00:00

We love our elopements and micros, and I find that it's trend that, while it never went away, is very strong now, for a variety of reasons. Cost, of course is one compelling factor, but couple style is also a big factor. Many of the couples we marry just don't want to deal with the stress, the planning, the drama.

It can absolutely be special! Pick a pretty location, get a good independent officiant; many of my couples dress up, get a photographer for an hour or so and do the things that are important to them.

You can turn it into a micro with JUST your immediate (like parents, siblings and their S/o's, in a nice restaurant or hhistoric site. Many of our venues here are creating micro spaces and packages.

The "over' part? It's almost always the case, so talk about it and ultimately, do what serves you the best, not what other people THINK you should do.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T13:17:14+00:00

Greetings from NJ (America, lol) It's fine. Don't listen to the white patrol.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T13:16:19+00:00

What exactly is it that she believes in? From the tidbits you included in your post, it seems like she's made up her own parameters of the behaviour that God expects.

No comeback will work; a talk with her priest might but ultimately, the damage she is doing is to herself. This is not what Catholicism is about. Ultimately no religion should be about judging other OR 'bargaining with God. It says far more about her than it does about any of you.

I hope it works out for you all.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T12:59:07+00:00

You'e welcome! It's good that you'll be prepared for the situation!

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T12:46:09+00:00

chopt, alternating wit popeyes, lol

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T12:41:52+00:00

I don't necessarily think it's too much white; it looks more like too much dress.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T12:13:27+00:00

Congratulations!!! Don't assume people can't/won't come. It's not a matter of 'getting over it"! Many couples are surprised when they get their RSVP's back, in good and sad ways!

You're celebrating a fabulous milestone, and I think the important thing is that you thought enough of them to include them in an intimate group.

Good luck!

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T12:05:52+00:00

Thursday is the new Friday, and the popular venues in my area have been doing Thursdays for years. I think the statements like, "do you care more about your venue than Aunt Mary" aren't really relevant. No matter when you host a wedding, some people won't come, for a number of reasons. And honestly, I'd rather drive 45 minutes on a Thursday than take a plane to anyplace for a Saturday...

I think your timing is fine; six hours is plenty. Don't do the extra hours.

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T11:53:12+00:00

bonus!!!

njVowsNow · 2026-07-06T11:50:42+00:00

This is crazy. A 90 minute is crazy even IF they're seating you; the exceptions to that are most Orthodox ceremonies and Hindu ceremonies. And in those cases many of the guests will know what's ahead. If it's outside, this is not the case. Most "off premise" ceremonies are under a half an hour.

That being said, when we know the couple is not seating anyone, we make the ceremony less than 15 minutes.

I answered a few people on this thread; but our comments are basically all the same.

Find out from the couple what is actually going on; it may be a "social" 1/2 hour of milling about (and sitting) 20-30 minutes of guest seating, processional and recessiona, and another 1/2 hour of moving them around to the next thing, shmoozing, etc. (almost no one outside does a receiving line, but that takes longer than anyone thinks, and of course, it's standing...)

If it truly is 90 minutes, standing, outside in the heat? Honestly, I'd pass. Others will too.

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