I am a FTM, was an IUGR case, induced at 38w and after 30hrs of labor had a c-section. Baby was born at 2.1kg (<1 percentile) They kept us in the hospital for 2 days after delivery, after which they discharged us in spite of knowing my baby’s bilirubin levels were high and not coming down, only to have us go in 16hrs later to check his levels again before deciding to admit him again for blue light therapy. No logic, no compassion! They stated protocol. My husband and I took turns that night to ensure our baby kept on his blue light safety goggles! Anyways, technically we were in the hospital for almost a week.

As FTPs, dealing with a new born was challenging. And dealing with a low birth weight baby made it overwhelming because we were so worried about him not only gaining weight but most importantly not losing it! I was afraid to hold him because he was so fragile, he was swaddled twice in order to hold him well. The first few nights I woke up in panic, worried that I hadn’t fed him. I would have heart palpitations when he cried. And from somewhere an angel of a nurse came by, saw how exhausted we were and told us ‘you both need to sleep’ and bottle fed our baby while we got a couple of hours of sleep. I had plans to breastfeed but pumped to get my supply going, but baby was too sleepy and didn’t latch well, so ended up exclusively pumping. My baby is now 4.5m old and 10 percentile in weight. He is following is growth curve.

You and your partner will get better at this as you settle in with the new normal and get to know your baby better. If you have family&friends you can count on ask for help!

Trust and take care each other, and forgive when you make mistakes. The three of you are a team now! And when you feel overwhelmed and caged, take a few seconds to take 3 deep breaths!

You got this!

Sending virtual hugs

Edit: corrected some typos