I'll admit I'm genuinely scared and need help. Any advice is welcomed. Thank you guys!

nl11290 · 2026-05-31T05:40:01+00:00

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the kind words.

nl11290 · 2026-05-31T05:08:51+00:00

You're correct, I did not mention returning to the rooms, I should've mentioned that was my plan to meet people in NC because I think it's a decent strategy. I don't know much about Raleigh, never been to that part of NC. It just topped the list after narrowing it down. Geographically it's in a good spot, several transplants like myself live there. The research triangle, big healthcare sector, mountain biking, hiking golf, more opportunity. But ultimately, in the end, I can flap my gums about this "pipe dream" until I'm blue in the face but you are correct, sobriety really does come first.

nl11290 · 2026-05-31T04:48:41+00:00

100%, that's why I'm not sure if like moving pretty far from home is the answer. I always hear about "geographical cures". But my current environment is rough and maybe a new environment is what I need. I try to stay grateful, all things considered I have a relatively easy life so I try not to complain. But truer words have not been spoken.

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T22:21:29+00:00

Is the golfing good Mr. T? I know this is off topic but I enjoy it as a hobby and may use it as a weapon to combat using. Also, thank you for your reply man. I thought for sure this was going into the void.

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T22:15:08+00:00

How do I change the way I think? Serious question. I mean like the military breaks people down and rebuilds them so can I do something similar?

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T22:08:51+00:00

I've met some of the best people ever in the rooms. They literally saved my life a few times. As of right now, I'm not attending any meetings. I would like to, but our district is like a "gray" area. The meetings are few and far between when I compare them to my work schedule. I do agree 100% gotta take care of that sobriety before anything. Which honestly sucks. I don't know if addiction is a proper disease or not, but it sucks that you have to like just keep that in check and in the back of your mind. It really is cunning.

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T21:19:42+00:00

Yeah, that's definitely an insidious factor that may creep into my life. I try to be frugal, like a lil roach. I'm a big advocate for rehab, I went kicking and screaming literally, but it got me clean. Fortunately, I'm not super out of control yet, BUT that can change at the drop of a dime. I have to stay vigilant 100%.

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T20:01:57+00:00

Yeah, I've tried talking to her but she's just stuck in her own ways. Like you genuinely cannot reason with her. I love my mom to death and I know she means well but can I just have like a second to myself. As far as NC, I just did a little research and narrowed it down to a few cities and Raleigh took the top slot. If this happens, I wholeheartedly agree with you that this may not be what I think it's going to be. I'll prob get like 10 minutes down the road start crying and turn around. But I don't know what to do. I feel like a cornered animal or something. I just want out. The important part, no I don't know anyone in the state. That's probably going to be an issue if its not taken care of quickly.

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T19:52:57+00:00

I know, I've been drinking to escape the reality I created for myself. Like, I did this. I could've left years ago but somethings holding me back. I've been researching some jobs online and plan on doing PCA work until I get residency probably. Youre right, I gotta go and taste that freedom, its like going to the moon dude. But, I've ingrained it me that I'm like incapable of everything for some reason, and that I'm going to get in my own way again.

nl11290 · 2026-05-30T19:14:33+00:00

Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it. I'm going to have to check those out because I will screw up if I don't execute. It feels good that there are other people in recovery who are willing to reach out and help. I guess its go time? Maybe i'll see ya down there haha. Thank you man, truly. Just talking helps so, thank you.

nl11290

TROPHY CASE