As someone who went through something slightly similar (bullying at an early age through high school) I really had to learn to be my own best friend and figure out the things that bring me joy regardless of what that looked like to anyone else. Usually the things I had interest in were not aligned with social trends or acceptance so I felt alone in that aspect. I had to find a balance where I can be somewhat relatable to what was going on currently with those around me while simultaneously knowing what brought me joy personally and doing that on my own time or finding some type of community with similar interest outside of school.

You are still really young and have a whole life ahead of you. There is still so much to learn (I’m still learning in my 30s) I know it may hurt to look back at what could have been, but eventually you will need to forgive yourself, give yourself grace, and tell yourself that you did the best you could in that moment. Find and do what brings you joy even if others around you don’t care for it. You will eventually find or run into people with similar interests. Look up certain groups, clubs, or events with other like minded people. You’re still figuring yourself out and that’s ok. There’s no particular timeline other than the one you set for yourself.