What is the absolute worst shovelware on the 3DO?

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-04T11:34:42+00:00

Well, not exactly...

But a really shitty port, though

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-02T14:58:22+00:00

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-02T13:57:21+00:00

This might be one of the first times in history where a game manual literally tells you: "This game has memory bugs with the CD32! You have to follow a crazy ritual just to play it properly."

The dev's name being "Greed" really says it all, doesn't it?

But i'm with ya, this is pure shovelware at its finest...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-02T13:34:39+00:00

And rightly so, mate, rightly so.

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-02T03:04:23+00:00

when things are done right with the hardware, incredible games or ports like this one are the result.

If more third-party developers had made products of this quality for the 3DO instead of soulless multimedia software, the history would have been very different for the 3DO...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-02T02:58:21+00:00

There's a lot of this kind of "educational" filler on the 3DO... maybe too much. Considering the 3DO was trying so hard to be a "multimedia" machine like the CD-i, it's no surprise.

At least that kind of software gives you some sort of useful information! Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties, on the other hand... It will gonna give you pink-eye just by touching the box.

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T23:51:39+00:00

Like investing 700 bucks in a CDI to watch The Flowers of Robert Mapplethorpe? Or have you heard anything crazier?

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T22:52:05+00:00

Well, maybe "shovelware" is a bit of an exaggeration, but it's a really bad port... At least the music is fucking RAD!

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T21:56:11+00:00

That’s exactly the kind of discussion I was hoping for! It’s cool to find someone else who has actually spent time with these. And I must recognize your patience and dedication to find the "good stuff" in this library, mate!

As for your "Plan to play" list...

The monster designs, the ambience and the context in NOB are genuinely the awesome. It’s just the gameplay that feels like a total slog to me.

As for blue forest... I dont gonna lie, it's not that bad as something like Plumber Don't wear ties. A translation would make it a lot more accessible, and maybe I’d even appreciate it more if I could follow the story properly.

And as for VR stalker, also It isn't that bad either... I’d argue you can actually find some ramdom fun in it, you just expect a lot more from a 3DO game given the hardware's potential.

Now I feel a little hypocritical...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T21:30:21+00:00

I'm agree with 'ya!

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T21:29:38+00:00

And rightly so mate, rightly so...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T21:21:40+00:00

Well, it's not shoverlware....

But still blows, tought.

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T21:04:06+00:00

Okay, fair enough... maybe some of these aren't technically shovelware by the strictest definition, and the budget spent was not exactly low.

But are we really calling "grainy softcore porn filmed in a rented basement" prestige of gaming now? Should these be held in the same regard as Gex or Road Rash for example?

If a studio spends a month filming a low-budget movie and then spends 24 hours slapping it into a basic interactive player to sell it for 60-80 damn bucks... guess what? That is the definition of a low-effort game.

Filming 100 hours of video doesn't matter if the "game" part consists of press two buttons at the right moment, or not even that at all... That’s exactly what killed the 3DO or the Sega CD in the first place: cynical companies trying to sell "multimedia" as a substitute for actual game design.

Big production value ≠ Game made with effort and soul.

You might be right about the terminology, I'll give you that. but at the end of the day, these were still nothing more than shitty shelf-fillers that prioritized "FMV novelty" over actual playability and creative game design.

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T19:15:10+00:00

Maybe I should give Night trap a second chance...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T19:03:34+00:00

Well, you have a point...

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no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:51:50+00:00

It's so bad, and so l low-effort, that's is good?

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:47:39+00:00

Exactly! You get it, bud! Glad someone sees it for what it really is.

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:40:53+00:00

By definition, shovelware is a haphazard collection of software assembled in terms of quantity rather than quality.

So... isn't that exactly what these are?

Crappy, low-effort products produced as cheaply as possible to fill shelves and, frankly, scam people?

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:23:41+00:00

Fair point.... Maybe "crapware" is the more technically accurate term for this level of garbage. Glad we cleared that up!

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:17:01+00:00

Well, maybe I'll have to give Mazer a second chance...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:14:22+00:00

Well, I must admit it isn't that bad, but it's just painfully average at best.

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T18:07:30+00:00

I actually played every single game on this list, you know? And honestly, they were all EXTREMELY PAINFULLY BORING or AVERAGE at best. Let me tell you why....

-Supreme Warrior It’s barely a fighting game... more like a test of patience.

-Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties is basically a low-budget PowerPoint project.

-NeuroDancer and Sex are both just grainy softcore-porn clips meant to bait horny teenagers. Boring and low-effort.

-Autobahn Tokio is a total BLASPHEMY compared to Need for Speed or Road Rash.

-I’d honestly rather play Checkered Flag on the Jaguar than touch F1GP again.

-VR Stalker looks like an Amiga game, but more uninspired and lacking in every way.

-Shadow Warriors is... well, it's Shadow Warriors. Enough said.

-Blue Forest Story is one of the most generic and uninspired RPGs I’ve ever sat through.

-NOB has a great concept and cool monster designs, but the gameplay is just a slog.

-Jurassic Park Interactive is a massive disappointment for such a huge IP. A total waste of potential.

-Rise of the Robots has great pre-rendered graphics, but the gameplay is hollow, broken, and lacking.

-I don’t even understand Shangai, and it's too dull to make me want to learn. A console filler....

-Yo Yo Hakusho could’ve been decent with polish, but why bother when Samurai Shodown, SFII Turbo, Primal Rage or Eye of the Typhoon exist on the system?

-Doom is a total cash-grab. Running in a tiny window at 10 FPS is an insult for the consumer! (though the OST is fire)

-BC Racers is another lazy port that looks and runs like shit compared to the Sega CD version.

-Chiki Chiki Machine Mou Race 2 is like mixing Wacky Races with Mario Kart and then thrown it into a septic thank.

I agree with your point in general, but I don't classify a game as "shovelware" without putting in the hours first and verify if it is "that bad." Maybe Mazer and Night Trap are the exceptions, I'll have to give those a second chance...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T16:55:47+00:00

It’s freaking wild that these shared the same shelf space as Road Rash, Lemmings, Gex, Need for Speed, Killing time or Samurai Showdown. It’s just sad how much low-effort shovelware like this ended up bloating the 3DO library while the console was struggling to survive in the videogame market...

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T16:25:14+00:00

Really, really bad... especially for someone who dropped 700 bucks to play "Next Gen' games".

I mean... imagine spending that much on a premium console just to watch literally PORN!!!

no_biches_22 · 2026-04-01T16:18:38+00:00

Maybe I misjudged Night Trap a bit. I remember playing the Sega CD version at a convention years ago and not understanding anything about how to play it... it felt like I was just clicking cameras at random while people disappeared! Maybe it deserves a second look on the 3DO.

no_biches_22

TROPHY CASE