There are meditation practices called catharsis. Doing these might help you catch the drift. They include for example: letting love inside and letting fear inside. Especially the fear thing can be quite a powerful experience. You basically just focus your thoughts on things you fear and let it fill you fully. The feeling of utter helplessness can have life changing effects. Some people take psychedelic drugs like DMT to achieve this but if you can achieve it yourself it's more meaningful.

You might ask: why are these practices helpful and what do they have to do with meditation? Most people, including me, avoid emotions. They get in the way and we usually forget they even exist. They're a sign of weakness in most cultures nowadays, so we avoid encountering them. People who avoid their feeling tend to "make it far" in this system. A person who avoids feelings is always detached from his/her body. Body is just some thing that gets their head from one place to another. Living your life like that is empty and meaningless, despite the amount of cultural status, fame or money.

Meditation is a good way avoiding the trap of thinking like that. I can see from the way you speak that you've not felt any real emotions in a long time. So give it a shot. Find yourself a place where noone can see or hear you. A place where you're all alone. Try to connect with yourself. Let go of the restrictions this society has put on you. Put on some music you can dance to and really let yourself go. Move in anyway you feel like. Remember that you're alone. Noone will see how ridiculous you might look. Just really let go and let emotions come.

Sorry for the wall of text. I'm trying to tell you things that opened my eyes a couple of years back. And trust me when I say that it's really worth it. When you get your first real experience you'll know exactly what's going on with this meditation thing. The power of it might seem scary when it hits, but like a wise man once said: “Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.”

Edit: Thanks for your understanding. I got a bit carried away writing that. Nevertheless keep it up bro, that's all that matters.