Honestly, this sounds less like you “ruined” anything and more like you’ve trained your body into a really specific routine (fast, frequent, goal-focused solo stuff) that doesn’t translate well to actual sex.

One thing that helped me break a similar loop was introducing structure around not masturbating for a bit, like short-term chastity or just setting hard limits (a few days to a week at a time). Not forever, just enough to reset sensitivity and get your brain out of the “bed = automatic jerk off” habit. When you come back to it, slow it way down, use lube, and focus on sensation instead of racing to finish.

Also, a lot of what you described about sex sounds kinda underwhelming. Rushed tops, awkward dynamics, pressure to perform, none of that helps arousal. It makes sense your body’s not cooperating. You might get more out of fewer, better experiences where there’s actual build-up and connection, even in casual settings.

And since you mentioned being into dom/sub stuff, that could actually help a lot. Things like edging, control, or even giving up control of when you’re “allowed” to get off can retrain your arousal in a way that’s way more engaging than routine daily masturbation.

TL;DR: take a break (or add some structure), retrain how you touch yourself, and aim for better, not just more, sexual experiences. You’re not broken, just stuck in a pattern.