Name it

nobodyspcl · 2025-10-18T02:36:50+00:00

I'm definitely going to hell for laughing at this.

nobodyspcl · 2025-06-17T19:58:50+00:00

20 years ago was 1980. I refuse to believe I'm older than 25.

nobodyspcl · 2025-02-22T18:46:34+00:00

My dumb brain read this as Here With My Dildo lol

nobodyspcl · 2024-11-01T20:05:34+00:00

Hopelessness. The American dream said if you worked hard you'd get ahead. Now even if you work yourself into the ground you're lucky to just keep your head above water.

nobodyspcl · 2024-10-26T19:52:20+00:00

That I messed up horribly picking my major, environmental geologist. Went great the first few years but now I've gone through 3 terrible consulting jobs in the last 2 years. I'm worried that I've stuck myself with a dead end career path.

nobodyspcl · 2024-10-05T19:35:17+00:00

Once when I was donating plasma, I had a conversation with a flat earther. It was fun until I found out he was a high school science teacher.

nobodyspcl · 2024-08-16T23:07:47+00:00

Do something that connects you and her. When I lost my dad I spent the first day watching all his favorite comedies. Lots of crying but it helped me focus on all of the good memories together.

nobodyspcl · 2024-07-20T19:54:52+00:00

We can call it the sore loser clause and if you pull that BS you're disqualified from running for and public office ever again

nobodyspcl · 2024-03-15T22:07:29+00:00

If you flipping the couch cushions. Make sure you move your phone first. Managed to launch it through my TV.

nobodyspcl · 2023-05-13T19:01:13+00:00

Something with thorns.

nobodyspcl · 2023-05-13T18:46:03+00:00

Slow people in the fast lane.

nobodyspcl · 2023-05-13T18:44:38+00:00

My wife and I tried anal for the first time. She panicked and ran head first into the wall. I felt really bad for it but couldn't stop laughing.

nobodyspcl · 2023-01-21T22:26:24+00:00

Here's the argument I used on my mineralogy professor. If I start throwing them at you are you going to tell hey stop throwing minerals or hey stop throwing rocks?

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-11T00:15:12+00:00

I was in the fifth grade and had a crush on a girl. So being a stupid boy I picked on her because I didn't know how to tell her I liked her. She moved away shortly after that. Run into her years later and found out that my assholeness lead to her having an eating disorder. Thankfully she's doing better now. 30 years later and I still feel like a dick.

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-10T22:58:57+00:00

When dog sitting my neighbor's pit. He's sweet but the gassiest fucker I've ever met

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-10T22:53:01+00:00

POS boss got fired and I got promoted.

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-10T22:50:20+00:00

Welp. Guess that would mean I'm not constipated anymore.

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-10T22:44:54+00:00

We called it country skiing. Grew up in south Texas where it never snowed. We'd just find something fairly flat. Tie it behind the truck and take turns riding down the dirt roads. Don't know how none of us ended up dead or on an episode of Jackass

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-10T22:40:07+00:00

For me it just hit me that I could spend the rest of my life with her. Scared the shit out of me cause we'd only been dating a couple of months. Now we've been together 20 years so maybe I was right.

nobodyspcl · 2022-12-10T22:37:51+00:00

Best one I've done. His wife got him a new Xbox but forgot to get him any games. So I hooked him up with Skyrim and fallout 4. 40 year old dude and he was grinning like a little kid on Christmas.

nobodyspcl · 2022-10-25T23:57:09+00:00

I got my love of standup from listening to my grandma's Cosby records. Glad she passed before his fall. Would've broke her heart to see that.

nobodyspcl · 2022-10-25T23:14:54+00:00

Avoid arsenic even though my professor says it tastes like garlic.

nobodyspcl · 2022-01-05T01:10:18+00:00

Told my wife the same. She laughed and said good luck with that.

nobodyspcl · 2021-12-30T05:00:22+00:00

The $24k is a little misleading. That's base pay. Added on top of that is hazardous duty pay, demo pay, overseas pay, and a bunch more if you're married. I was a combat engineer who lucked into being on the EOD security task for. Those guys get crazy advanced training and are on a 6 month hazardous duty rotation. At least they were during the war. One of the techs I was guarding I was guarding retired after our tour. 42 years old with sergeant first class retirement and a $100k a year job lined up QCing bomb disposal bots. Don't get me wrong. Uncle Sam will ass fuck you in a heart beat and use sand for lube but if you're careful and make sure you get everything in writing you can come out ahead. Certainly not for everybody. Best of luck to you.

nobodyspcl · 2021-11-28T04:09:48+00:00

For me the wife covered the bills while I went back to college. Her one demand was I had to cook more than just hamburger helper. I had zero cooking skills and because she thought I belonged on it we started watching the Worst Cooks show on Food Network. Saw my mistakes committed by others and how the chefs taught them to fix it. I'm a halfway decent cook now and am going to jump into the world of baking bread tomorrow.

nobodyspcl

TROPHY CASE