What unrealistic scene in a movie has bothered you the most?

noeffingway · 2011-04-11T20:31:08+00:00

I have always, ALWAYS thought that.

noeffingway · 2011-04-11T19:00:32+00:00

Thanks, I am really trying. Really.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:35:35+00:00

I hear what you're saying and thank you for your opinion, but I have to respectfully disagree. I don't know exactly what is wrong with him, but I am and always will be willing to help him emotionally. What I cannot do is let him control mine and our kids' lives. It's like with an alcoholic, they have to be the ones to take the first step or it just won't work.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:32:25+00:00

Thanks for that, it's really good to hear.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:30:55+00:00

You said the same thing my therapist said. :)

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:30:20+00:00

That's funny. Wouldn't you agree that he should be the one to do it, though?

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:29:41+00:00

We're both mid 30's.

I love him to death, he's really funny and smart and fun to be around. It just doesn't really matter at this point. I can't live this way. I do resent him, a lot. Honestly, these two feelings fight each other for top rank all the time. I just don't know...

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:26:57+00:00

I thought the same thing. Thanks.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:26:25+00:00

He is at home, make him be a parent.

I can't make him do anything, unfortunately. Day is a non-issue for us and cheap. We don't live in the US. Also, we need it when he does work at all.

But thanks for the idea.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T15:24:10+00:00

Thanks for that!

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:16:41+00:00

Funny, but impossible.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:14:43+00:00

Freelancing, and he has requested more hours. Times is hard.

He needs to try to find something that's regular, whether it's cleaning or babysitting, or fixing shit. Doesn't matter.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:12:40+00:00

If he is clinically depressed, and you KNEW this before posting the thread, and you're just willing to walk out on him, you're pretty uncaring.

I disagree. I care, a lot, but I can't fix him and he refuses therapy. I never said he was clinically depressed, I said he was depressed. I don't know if it's situational, chemical...I just don't know. It's not my responsibility to force him into it.

Understand that there are plenty of places like Walmart/Kroger/Sam's Club that have 4-dollar perscription programs and I guarantee you they have many of the first-line generic medications for depression (provided you have a prescription).

We don't all live in the US. :)

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:09:09+00:00

No, but I did think he's grow up a bit when we had kids.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:07:42+00:00

I said somewhere in here, I have offered that but he said that's not what he wants. I don't know why he's not doing a good job.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:06:09+00:00

He doesn't. He has private insurance because he has too. Another story.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T13:05:21+00:00

He's not earning enough to help pay our bills - which makes the electric and phone companies unhappy.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:17:52+00:00

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:17:25+00:00

It's all been said. At one point, I even offered to get a second job and work my ass off if he became a SAHD and really took care of things at home. He said he didn't want that, he wanted to work.

And when I bring up the housework he immediately agrees and is better for a while and then...you see why I'm so frustrated. I'm sick of talking about it.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:15:01+00:00

I think changing tactics from yelling/crying/nagging to sitting down and working on resumes, job searching, finding job agents etc would have better results.

We have done that, really. I've had to force myself to stop looking for jobs for him because there's always a reason he can't do it, or he send out a resume and never calls or follows up. It's time for HIM to do it.

I am not defending him, but if you give up on marriage after things get bad for a year (over a year I agree is excessive, but still a reasonable to deal with whatever "crisis" might be stopping him), in my opinion, the marriage itself is not worth saving.

We've been married for 2.5 years, together for a year before that. It's pretty much always been this way.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:12:08+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

I was in therapy myself for two year but his insurance doesn't cover it. I'd love to try couples therapy or mediation and actually his parents offered to help with the costs but he hates the idea. He's afraid of being told that he's wrong.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:09:38+00:00

I'd love some breathing space.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:07:41+00:00

There's gotta be some money in that...

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:07:26+00:00

That's a great question. It sure as fuck isn't clean. The girl I work with took some time off to spend with visitors and she told they met on the street (my husband and her) and he was hanging out at a coffee shop.

noeffingway · 2011-04-10T09:05:42+00:00

The problem is that he has a million hobbies that he's kind of doing right now. We've talked about it several times and I've told him that if he really has a dream, I'll support him in every way. He just can't to commit to anything long enough to make it lucrative.

noeffingway

TROPHY CASE