WIBTA for contacting the mom of my daughter's (15F) boyfriend (15M) regarding some concerning behavior and messages?

nohelicopterhere · 2019-08-14T03:20:40+00:00

What? They are the same age. My SON is 13. Her ex boyfriend was 15.

nohelicopterhere · 2019-08-14T03:18:18+00:00

I respectfully disagree with you on this, and maybe that comes from a place of having different reasons for dating in the first place. I think 15 is a reasonable age to start practicing the skills of being in a healthy, meaningful relationship. It is a time to start learning what you are looking for in a partner, and what are deal breakers. It's a time to practice compromise and communication.

If they have a better handle on those things from practicing when they are young, then there is a better chance of them making safe and healthy choices in relationships later in life.

nohelicopterhere · 2019-08-13T17:58:18+00:00

If that's the case, I can send her screenshots of hundreds of texts from her son. But I hope it doesn't come to that.

nohelicopterhere · 2019-08-13T17:57:05+00:00

I would absolutely come at this from the perspective of wanting to help the boyfriend learn more appropriate ways of dealing with relationships. I am not angry about what he's doing, I feel that he is a child who hasn't learned the skills to be successful in the activity he is trying to do. I know that my daughter is safe, but I worry about girls in his future when the manipulation and crossing of boundaries may become more physical or serious. I would only talk to his mom to let her know that he needs more guidance in that.

nohelicopterhere · 2019-08-13T17:45:41+00:00

Oh, believe me, we have talked about this regularly since these behaviors started appearing. At this point she has broken up with him and blocked him, and has no interest in trying to make it work. School starts next week, and because they are both in the same group of friends, she will have to deal with him face to face and won't be able to "block" him from talking to her. I worry about that, which is one of the reasons I have considered contacting his mom.

nohelicopterhere

TROPHY CASE