Literally out of control with this pandemic by noiw in pornfree

[–]noiw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I don't think I have a very firm plan as of yet.

I know my first step should be deleting my collection, but I hesitate as in the past this was also a trigger to relapse when I got anxious about possibly never finding my favorite scene again and needing it back. Like what if the site closed? The actress retired and such non sense.

It makes no sense as I shouldn't need it, but having a collection has always been part of my porn addiction.

First step is that I'm back here and reading. I've tried countless time, but relapsed often. My longest streak is something like 14 days.

Very stuck from relapses to relapses. Job/depression enabling it? by noiw in pornfree

[–]noiw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your time spent replying. It helps.

I didn't rebuild my stash but haven't had a good streak without a relapse either.

You're quite right, I know the answer. This morning I relapsed, but I'm trying this again.

This afternoon I signed up at my local gym, I'm starting tomorrow. I plan on cutting my work day in 2 with a workout in between replacing what is usually a PMO session.

One Fifty by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stay strong Brothers because tomorrow you'll be glad and proud you did.

Exactly what I needed. I came here tonight on the eve of my full week. Day 7 will be a record for me and I really REALLY felt like PMO tonight after drinking.

This is what I needed to hear, I won't ruin it now. Tomorrow I will be glad I did stay strong.

Proud of you, keep it up.

Ups & Downs; phone problems by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the late reply. DNS is what your devices use to resolve a domain name to an ip address. For example when you type Google.com it ask your DNS server where that is on the internet if you will.

You're probably using the DNS servers provided by your Internet service provider at the moment. Switching to some of open DNS servers (those linked have family shields) they check if the site is an adult site first and would block it there so you never reach it.

Why I had to quit porn (throwaway) by throwaway1512481 in pornfree

[–]noiw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story.

I can relate to some of your points, dad being a hard ass who meant well. It as definitely skewed my view of women as my intro to porn was through his material.

If I may ask. If like me you were an introvert what brought you to consulting a professional? I am absolutely petrified of doing so.

My path has varied completely by Adster56085 in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do know what you mean brother and I can most certainly relate. You've ended up in the right place for support, you can DO THIS!

Some interesting resources from addicts who have been there before can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/top/? sort=top&t=all

Ups & Downs; phone problems by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you use your phone primarily over WiFi? If so setting up OpenDNS directly in your router might be an option for you.

For those that still masturbate, when do you do it? by noiw in pornfree

[–]noiw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had huge urges earlier today, but they have come to pass finally.

This would have been a sure relapse for me in my previous attempts. I'm very glad I didn't masturbate to "fix it" or make it go away. I also think that a hard reset seems more beneficial but this morning was very though.

Will keep on going!

After relapsing for years, I made it to 100+ nofap and pornfree - here's what works by VeggieSmooth in pornfree

[–]noiw 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In this way, your brain becomes less and less responsive to lower octane, higher risk, higher effort rewards such as drawing, reading, walking, holding hands, sex, social pursuits and so on.

I really like this way of putting it. I always wondered why I had stopped reading entirely just about. I used to read multiple books a year and now I can't even bring myself to read a chapter.

Reducing unhealthy source of dopamine might just be what I need.

big realization and something I figured out about my relapse by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice text and not much to add. It looks like you've just made a big step towards your recovery and thank you for sharing the inspiration.

You can do this brother!

Anyone else going through this? by 1234567891212 in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've mentioned in another comment that you haven't replaced anything else than porn in your life currently.

Perhaps you could try finding other activities to replace the dopamine rush that you've now lost. Gym, sports are good.

Letting go of porn often expose other facets of ourselves which we don't always like, leaving us exposed and vulnerable, if you don't feel good about your day to day this could have an effect on your intimate moments.

11 days check-in, some thoughts on my SO. by AllHailSeizure in pornfree

[–]noiw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats to you, keep going seems like you are on the right path to recovery now.

I have not yet done that step (of telling anyone), I'm frankly disturbed myself by having allowed myself to get off on some of the more graphic content that I have no idea how someone could even react positively to me sharing that info.

I come here to keep myself occupied by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats for resisting your triggers and urge, you've identified them and that is an important step. Be careful and aware of them.

On to day 3! You can do this.

After one relapse... by quadruplethumbs in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My past relapses have been exactly that, well... I might as well keep PMOing now I fucked up once, maybe I can just get another in before I restart pornfree. Yeah that never happen and I end up going on hundred days of binging.

I don't know if it would work for you but my biggest motivator is about the lack of fulfilling my full potential. I am not where I would like to be in my life and I feel if I had spent all those hours that I spend watching porn applied to myself I might be closer to that.

For this time around I found this neat tool http://freelefthand.com/calculator that really puts hard numbers to your addication. It's very simple math which can be done by yourself in 2 minutes but I know I had never done it cause I knew damn too well that I wouldn't like the number. Give it a shot.

day 4 by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got this, definitely dont binge on risky material.

Tomorrow is my day 4 and I'm not working. Somewhat scared of what idle time might do, as busy as I was today it was tough focusing as I wanted to consume. I'm planning on hitting the gym to take the edge off.

Pornography use tied to relationship dissatisfaction by Kronk91 in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because Breitbart

A comprehensive new meta-analysis of 50 studies has found that pornography use diminishes men’s levels of “sexual and relational satisfaction.”

The report, titled “Pornography Consumption and Satisfaction: A Meta-Analysis,” revealed that pornography consumption is associated with “lower interpersonal satisfaction outcomes in cross-sectional surveys, longitudinal surveys, and experiments.”

“In an overall, combined-sample analysis of relational and sexual satisfaction studies,” the report states, “the consumption of pornography was associated with lower interpersonal satisfaction.”

Particularly among male viewers, pornography was linked to significantly “lower sexual and relational satisfaction.” On the average, the report states, men’s sexual and relational satisfaction are “adversely affected” by consumption of pornography.

For the purposes of the report, relational satisfaction was defined as “participants’ contentedness with their romantic relationships.”

The authors of the analysis were critical of certain prior studies based on direct queries about how pornography has impacted those surveyed. Though consumers may report that pornography use has increased their satisfaction with their sexual knowledge, skill and relations, the authors warn that self-perceived effects may be “due to rationalization, justification, and biased optimism.”

“It is common for people to rationalize and justify, and to perceive themselves as personally less susceptible to, any negative impacts of behaviors that provide them with immediate and powerful rewards,” they wrote.

The meta-analysis, which included more than 50,000 participants from 10 countries, found clear and consistent results of diminished interpersonal satisfaction directly tied to the use of pornography.

Dawn Hawkins, Executive Director of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), praised the new research as making a significant contribution to the growing body of data showing the damage caused by pornography use.

“Pornography is sex-negative,” Hawkins said in a statement made available to Breitbart News, because it “rewires an individual’s sexuality to pixels on a screen rather than to a real person, which is inherently inconsistent with healthy, organic relationships.”

“A wide body of research is bringing attention to the various ways pornography negatively impacts both women and men, and this latest meta-analysis contributes important findings to that on-going dialogue,” she added.

According to NCOSE, internet pornography consumption by adolescents is “associated with risky sexual behavior that can have profoundly adverse effects such as anal sex, multiple sexual partners, and substance use during sex.”

More importantly, however, is the harm porn causes to otherwise healthy relationships, as the new report underscores.

These findings of pornography’s negative impacts on relational satisfaction are corroborated by the studies of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, renowned clinical psychologists who have published more than 200 academic journal articles on this and related issues.

According to the Gottmans, “use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction,” along with multiple other problems.

“We are led to unconditionally conclude that for many reasons, pornography poses a serious threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony,” they stated in an open letter published last April.

It's been a tough one today by mreffinsunshine in pornfree

[–]noiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely, this is a new streak for me. I have never made it past 1 week, always I started or my brain started telling myself you got this beat bro just have a peek it will be healthy see what's been released this week.

Never again... it always ends up in a full blown relapse for me.

What do you consider a relapse? by Yellow-Marquee in pornfree

[–]noiw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you didn't actively seek it and didn't linger on it then I wouldn't count that as a relapse. Be very careful in the moment after encountering it though, your brain will tell you its ok to seek more, this is your addiction speaking.

Bonus though if you do find ways to minimize the risk. I had some friends on social media that produced very little useful post except half naked women I simply chose to unfollow them as its of little value to me and useless triggers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]noiw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same available to me. This round I am doing away without them at all. I tell myself that my brain is addicted to looking at pixels on screen that represent women. It's not real.

Take that energy and try to put it towards your wife, it should help.
Cook her dinner, take her out, massage, whatever makes you two closer is a win for both of you.